Rough Night (Preg. ment. not mine)

DaisyZH

Okay, this has been a truly terrible night.  First off, and I'm sorry if it's not appropriate to post about this since it's not strictly TTCAL, but I am having a really hard time with my mom who has cancer.  Today she met with an oncologist who is sending her to a Boston cancer center because the biopsy has cells that are multiplying very quickly and one lymph  node is bigger then the other and so they need to see if it's spreading.   I am falling apart but trying not to show her because I want her to focus on her, not me.

Then after I talked to her my FIL called to let me know that DH's aunt is pregnant.  She is 41 and has wanted a child for so long so I am very happy for her, but FIL kept saying how happy everyone is that she and my SIL are due near the same time and won't it be so great to have 2 babies at once, etc.  All I could  think is I'm supposed to be pregnant too, I'm supposed to be due in September, there are supposed to be 3 babies, not 2.  He knows about our losses, but he doesn't seem to get it, he's telling me he already knows how he is going to announce when we have baby # 2 (that isn't as weird as it sounds, he very humerously helped us announce and also last weekend helped BIL and SIL too).  I just say "yes if we're lucky enough to have another one" as a gentle hint, but he truly seems to not get it.

I'm sorry for the pity party, I know a lot of us are going through a lot of crap right now.  (( Hugs )) to everyone, especially anyone that made it to the end of this, sorry for such a long post!

khays8785

I'm so sorry.. it royally sucks when there's healthy pregnancies progressing with close due dates... my bff is three weeks after mine =(

((HUGS)) 

*ETA - T&P's for your mom and your family!

iheartcoffee

Oh honey! I am so sorry you are going through this! I am sorry about your mom! I hope and pray everything goes well for her. Cancer is a scary, sucky thing. I think that it is okay to show that you are scared. She would worry about you anyways, just as you worry about her. 

And I am sorry about you FIL. I think men, in general, sometimes just don't get it. You would think that he would have a filter of some sorts. I know it stings though. So sorry =(

((HUGS)) 

DaisyZH

mamato3boys:

I'm so sorry about your mom. I just went through it with my mom. She was diagnosed with a very aggresive form of uterine cancer just 1 year ago. Since then she has been through so much. A hysterectomy(sp?) and chemo. The good news is she is in total remission. I know how hard it is to be strong when you just want to cry! I wish the best for her and you! Big ((HUGS))!

I am so glad your mom is in remission, that makes me feel a lot better to hear about other people that have gone through this successfully. 

Thank you to everyone for your support, I am so freaking happy I found this board I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy already if not.

klbowie

I am so so sorry about your mom!! I really hope she gets answers and treatment as soon as possible.  I know how hard it must be to try a stay strong.  I went through my FIL having lung cancer a year ago.  I had to be strong for him and my husband so I have a slight understanding of your stress. 

I am sorry your FIL is not getting your hints.  It is really hard.  There were four of us (friends and family) pregnant at the same time.  Unfortunatly, me and a cousin both miscarried but it is hard having the reminders. 

Pity Party away!! You have to get it out and this is one great to go about it.  I am right there with you today.  I hope we have better days tomorrow.

killian09

So sorry Daisy.  That is a lot to be going through.  I hope the doctors here can help your mom.  

I would bet your FIL was trying to be positive/supportive/encouraging with his comments about your next pg announcement, but they were insensitive.

((hugs)) for you! 

EKGibs

(((hugs))))

Mmm79

That's definitely a rough day.  i am so sorry about your mom, but hopefully the doctors at the hospital she has been referred to are the right ones to treat her.  Sometimes it's better to be cautious and send patients to the experts.  Do you live near your mom?  If so, I find that sometimes going to some appointments and meeting the doctors can be helpful and ease your mind a bit.  My mom has had medical issues over the past year and has recently had a diagnosis that will require brain surgery.  We're also in the Boston area, though so far she has been treated at the hospital closer to her home.    

As for your FIL, I agree that a lot of people just don't get it.  I don't think I really got it until it happened to me.    

 

DaisyZH

Mmm79:

That's definitely a rough day.  i am so sorry about your mom, but hopefully the doctors at the hospital she has been referred to are the right ones to treat her.  Sometimes it's better to be cautious and send patients to the experts.  Do you live near your mom?  If so, I find that sometimes going to some appointments and meeting the doctors can be helpful and ease your mind a bit.  My mom has had medical issues over the past year and has recently had a diagnosis that will require brain surgery.  We're also in the Boston area, though so far she has been treated at the hospital closer to her home.    

As for your FIL, I agree that a lot of people just don't get it.  I don't think I really got it until it happened to me.    

I do live near her, which makes it helpful.  I'm definately going to go to some of her treatments and her doctor really does sound like he's on the ball.

I'm so sorry about your Mom, brain surgery sounds scary and I'm sure is incredibly stressful for you and your family as well.  Thoughts and prayers to her and you.

 

DaisyZH

killian09:

So sorry Daisy.  That is a lot to be going through.  I hope the doctors here can help your mom.  

I would bet your FIL was trying to be positive/supportive/encouraging with his comments about your next pg announcement, but they were insensitive.

((hugs)) for you! 

I agree I think he was probably trying to be supportive.  I really am lucky that he is so positive for us.

Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement, I really do appreciate it.  Sometimes it helps to just vent and typing it all out was very helpful.

(( Hugs )) to everyone, I know we all have a lot of hard stuff that we are dealing with.

Luey22

Best wishes to your mother, unfortunately the news of a pregnancy doesn't get easier, through my loss I have already had 3 family members announce their pregnancies, and it sucks, period. And as others have put it, men are just dense. T&P are being sent your way!

DaisyZH

Thanks for the support ladies, I truly appreciate it.  I feel a little better today and we found out that my mom already got her appointment set up in Boston for the second week of June which is a lot faster then they had thought they could get her in.  Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, love to all of you (( Hugs ))