Daycare and sign language

meeekuslaw

Today I picked up my child from daycare, and they mentioned that they taught her sign language, and she knows three words.  I know many people really support sign language for babies, but my husband and I had decided that we did not want our child to learn it.  We have been focusing on verbal communication with her.  I feel like the decision whether to teach our child sign language should be ours.  Also, I wish we would have known our child was learning this-- our child has been inconsistently learning how to ask for more food for probably several weeks now.  Our child now has a special language with daycare, that my husband and I don't know.  I already feel guilty about our child being in daycare, and feel that it negatively impacts the formation of a strong, mother/child bond.  That our child now has this language with daycare makes it worse.  Is my concern over this justified, or am I overreacting?

toadstool

Well, how would you feel about your kid going to kinder or pre-k and learning 3 words in spanish or french? DH's little sister is 6 and has learned this kind of stuff at school for the past couple of years. I really don't see a problem with it. It is educational. Aren't you glad that, if you have to send your child to daycare, at least you are sending her to a daycare that is trying to keep her mentally stimulated? Also, I'm sure that you could easily learn the signs if you wish to be a part of this. If you have no desire to take part, I don't think that it will in any way hurt the bond that you have with your little girl. You are her momma. If your DD enjoys her daycare experience, that does not take away from the love that she has for you or the bond that you share.

pam1005

I would not be concerned with it.  At least your LO is in a setting where they are working with her and teaching her things.  If you want to know the signs you can always ask how to do them.  

festivus

Using sign language actually helps, not hinders, oral language development. I'd ask your DCP to keep you updated on the signs they are using so you can use them at home, too (or you can at least be aware and acknowledge when your LO is using them, even if you don't want to use them yourself).

maiken1027

So you sent your child to school and they taught your LO something and you are upset?  If you LO is capable of learning the signs they are teaching, I'd hope you'd be able to learn them too and use them to better communicate with each other and improve your bond.

clineak

I agree with PPs- this is nothing to be upset about. In no way does it hinder your LO's bond with you. Perhaps you should consider learning/using the signs she does to further your bond with her if you are that concerned about it.

Jelliebean1982

You are way overreacting.  Babies can sign before they can talk.  It only helps verbal communication because when babies do talk they tend to babble or aren't that clear.  Using sign language can make communication so much easier on everyone and can encourage toddlers to express their needs and wants in more productive ways (rather than tantruming).  It's so much nicer when DS signs more instead of screaming!

I don't think this would seem as bad to you if you let go of all of the mom guilt.  I assure you, your daycare does not have a better bond with your baby than you do.  Ask them what signs they have taught your baby and use them at home. 

Epiphany27

toadstool:

Well, how would you feel about your kid going to kinder or pre-k and learning 3 words in spanish or french? DH's little sister is 6 and has learned this kind of stuff at school for the past couple of years. I really don't see a problem with it. It is educational. Aren't you glad that, if you have to send your child to daycare, at least you are sending her to a daycare that is trying to keep her mentally stimulated? Also, I'm sure that you could easily learn the signs if you wish to be a part of this. If you have no desire to take part, I don't think that it will in any way hurt the bond that you have with your little girl. You are her momma. If your DD enjoys her daycare experience, that does not take away from the love that she has for you or the bond that you share.

This.

Unless they're teaching you're child to sign "butthole" I'd be delighted. My son knows slamming on the table means more and yelling means all done. I'd be over the moon if he retained anything like that.

laurakaz13

toadstool:

Well, how would you feel about your kid going to kinder or pre-k and learning 3 words in spanish or french? DH's little sister is 6 and has learned this kind of stuff at school for the past couple of years. I really don't see a problem with it. It is educational. Aren't you glad that, if you have to send your child to daycare, at least you are sending her to a daycare that is trying to keep her mentally stimulated? Also, I'm sure that you could easily learn the signs if you wish to be a part of this. If you have no desire to take part, I don't think that it will in any way hurt the bond that you have with your little girl. You are her momma. If your DD enjoys her daycare experience, that does not take away from the love that she has for you or the bond that you share.

Agree with all of this.  Good for them for teaching your child something different. I think it's cool and great!  I don't see why it is a concern at all. 

ASmallWonder

This will only benefit your LO as she grows, just like learning any other language.  It's a skill that, if you/she wanted to, could keep up with and make use of her entire life.  Look for the good in this because there's really no down side!

genekelly

I'm sorry you're upset about it but I think you're overreacting.  I understand wanting to not confuse things with your LO but sign language for babies has been and I think it is helpful in beginning to understand the connection b/w words(signs) and their meaning.  Why can't you learn/use the symbols that LO has already learned?  I think it is a great way to foster interaction with your LO and respond to their needs or wants.  My nephew was taught some signs in his daycare(he's now 6) and my sister found it to be pretty helpful and did not negatively affect their bonding.

Snow1010

I love that our nanny teaches our DD signs.  She already knows "all done", "more", and "help". 

DD signing that she's doesn't want more food is better than her spitting or throwing it at me!  

Just ask your daycare to show you the signs so you can have fun doing them at home.   

meeekuslaw

Yes, I see that the overwhelming opinion is that teaching our child sign language is a good thing.  And, although I wasn't a huge sign language fan (and still am not), I understand where you all are coming from, and that I should be happy we have a good daycare provider.  Which I am, and I am glad they are teaching my child new things.  Since our child knows some sign language now, I'd like to participate as well.  I realize this isn't about me, and I need to let go of some of the guilt, and the feelings that I'm often just a bystander in our child's life.  

 I guess I just wish I knew when she started learning it so that I could keep it consistent at home and be a part of the process, at least...    The fact that our child has mastered three words already says to me that it's been a work in progress for quite awhile, and I had no idea it was happening.  When I thought she was clapping after she ate something at home, I now realize she was asking for "more."  I had no idea, and it's been going on for weeks.  That has to be confusing for her. 

kmm2150

meeekuslaw:

Yes, I see that the overwhelming opinion is that teaching our child sign language is a good thing.  And, although I wasn't a huge sign language fan (and still am not), I understand where you all are coming from, and that I should be happy we have a good daycare provider.  Which I am, and I am glad they are teaching my child new things.  Since our child knows some sign language now, I'd like to participate as well.  I realize this isn't about me, and I need to let go of some of the guilt, and the feelings that I'm often just a bystander in our child's life.  

 I guess I just wish I knew when she started learning it so that I could keep it consistent at home and be a part of the process, at least...    The fact that our child has mastered three words already says to me that it's been a work in progress for quite awhile, and I had no idea it was happening.  When I thought she was clapping after she ate something at home, I now realize she was asking for "more."  I had no idea, and it's been going on for weeks.  That has to be confusing for her. 

Yeah, I think you are hitting on two different issues here - one is the decision of whether or not to use sign, but the other is communication with your daycare and I totally agree with you here. I have a friend who's daycare was introducing new foods, including candy and peanut butter (!) to her child and not telling her about it, much less asking if it was ok - I would be livid. Obviously, teaching sign language is not harmful in any way, but I still think it's important for daycare to keep parents up to date on what kids are doing each day. That being said, I think that some parents just don't really care/don't ask, so sometimes it takes the parent initiating and asking what they did that day, how their behavior is, etc., to get that communication.

LMBecky11

I think that you have a right to be annoyed about this. And you should let your daycare know that you are too.

I have been teaching my child baby signs and one of the most important thing is consistency. I don't see how your daycare thinks they are going to efficiently teach children to sign when they aren't signing at home. Plus, it confuses the child when in one place people are responding to their signs but at home their parents are responding to verbal cues and not to the signs. That's not a good way to teach a baby. They should have discussed it with you first and found out if you were on board with teaching the child the signs as well... actually, I take that back. I think they shouldn't presume anything and if a parent wants the daycare to teach their kid signs then the parent should be able to be the one to go to the daycare and tell them to use the signs. When I leave my LO with people I show them the signs that they will most likely use and ask them to try to remember to do them. If I was not doing signs, I would expect that people are not trying to teach my kid to communicate using signs when outside of my care.

I do feel bad that you feel guilty about your child being at daycare. Its something that has to be done sometimes. As of right now, I am able to bring my LO to work with me, but I don't know how long that will last, and then she'll have to go to daycare too. Its just not possible or practical for some of us to stay home, even though we may really want to. I know I would LOVE to be at home with my LO, even though I am able to bring her to work with me. I still feel like I am not able to be the best mom I can be because I am dealing with work stuff too.

I hope you get things cleared up with the daycare. GL. 

Jcraul

maiken1027:

So you sent your child to school and they taught your LO something and you are upset?  If you LO is capable of learning the signs they are teaching, I'd hope you'd be able to learn them too and use them to better communicate with each other and improve your bond.

I can kind of see your point but I agree with Maiken1027.  Suck it up.  It is 3 signs!

We took the classes & use it with our daughter.  I actually gave Daycare paperwork & they have been using it with her & the other children.  Maybe I'm the culprut that started this... Oops!

laurakaz13

Sorry. I still don't see your point and think you're trying to find things to be annoyed about.  Do you even talk to your DCP's? 

I spend at least 10-15 minutes a day chatting with them about how DD is doing.  I know exactly what is going on in her class and how she's doing every single day. 

I still think you are wrong and overreacting.  God forbid your child learn something you don't know while in school in the future.  Gasp! 

chellebellesoliman

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with it. Its easy enough to learn the 3 words she already knows and learning sign language may actually help with her language skills. Research shows that children who learned sign language knew a wider range of words than their counterparts who did not. 

tabormommy

maiken1027:

So you sent your child to school and they taught your LO something and you are upset?  If you LO is capable of learning the signs they are teaching, I'd hope you'd be able to learn them too and use them to better communicate with each other and improve your bond.

 

THIS!!!