WWYD: DD and DCPs

Vol4life

XP on Parenting

DD will be 11 months old at the end of the month and has only been cared for by my mother or grandmother. My mom watches her 3 days a week and grandmother 2. There is a DC in town that will do drop ins for infants and I was thinking of taking DD a few days a month. She is around older children sometimes (we have a large family) but other than the handful of times we've taken her to the YMCA child watch while we work out she hasn't been around little children. The center is fairly new and on the smaller side. While the location isn't ideal the owners seem really nice and we know a few people who send their LOs there and they are super pleased. I also work for Social Services in Child Care so I've spoken to the owner's on numerous occasions and they seem super sweet. I would obviously go look at the center and give my thorough "Mommy" inspection before I started DD.

I know I've been very lucky to have free DC but I also sort of want to give my family a break. My Mom is only 50 but has terminal health problems (cirrhosis of the liver but she's not an alcoholic) and my grandmother is 70 but in fairly good health. Our plan right now is to TTC next summer so DD will be around 3 y/o when the new baby would be born. DD would start pre school then (or sometime around then, maybe before the baby is born so there wouldn't be too many changes at once). Maybe we could start DD next summer so my Mom would have a good break before the 2nd baby comes.

But is that too much on DD? Having her split between 3 DCPs plus possibly a few hours at week at the Y while we exercise?? DD doesn't have a schedule now so I have no idea how that would even work out at DCP and then going back to our family who lets her do whatever she wants (and so do I and her father).

I am soo torn. If I did start her at the center it would be after her 1st birthday and the cold/flu season is pretty much over.

shannm

I don't think I would bother if it is only a few days a month.  My family and I do better with a routine.  My vote would be majority center with a few grandma days.

MKDee

With my older DS, we used a combination of my mom, my MIL and very parttime daycare for his first two years of life. At the time, it was what we could afford, and DS1 did fine although he cried at dropoff for daycare for almost a year. When DS2 came along, we switched to more fulltime daycare with only limited mom and MIL child care. It has been much, much easier for everyone since we switched to more fulltime daycare. Our routine is essentially the same every day; the kids know what to expect; and they have actual "friends" at daycare. Plus, our moms like that they can spoil the kids on the days they do have them since those days are "treats." I believe the consistency has made life easier, so my recommendation would be to find a schedule that gives your daughter a predictable schedule. If you did Monday with your mom, Tuesday through Thursday in daycare and Friday with MIL, she would probably adjust in no time. Would something like that be an option? Good luck!

laurakaz13

I think it would be better for all involved, including your little one, if you had her go to the center for the majority of the time.  Then just spend like a day a week with mom or grandma. 

After the age of 1, I've found DD's center to be invaluable.  She learns so much, socializes and has a blast everyday.  She's just a social, happy, smart little kid. 

LoCarb

laurakaz13:

I think it would be better for all involved, including your little one, if you had her go to the center for the majority of the time.  Then just spend like a day a week with mom or grandma. 

After the age of 1, I've found DD's center to be invaluable.  She learns so much, socializes and has a blast everyday.  She's just a social, happy, smart little kid. 

I agree. I don't think there is much benefit from a cpl days a month. You said your mom needs a break. Why not try the center for majority?

jenn_darrin1515

Since it sounds like your mom could use a break, I agree with the others that I would go with the center more like ft with a couple days a month for fun with your mom/grandma. If you don't want her there ft for financial or personal reasons I would still absoltely send her 2-3 days/week at least...otherwise I think it could be too much switching around for her...

jf198400

I was in a similar situation as you. My mom used to watch my older DD and then watched both children after my 2nd ML. As DD got older 2yrs I was less happy with my mom watching her FT. I felt like she didn't get out with other kids enough, watched too much tv, wasn't on a good nap schedule, ate less healthy, etc. it also got to be too much for my mom to manage both kids. We switched to FT DC and I am so happy we did. Both children have so much fun and learn so much. My mom still helps out a lot watching them when they are sick or DC is closed.

If I were you I would put your DD in PT DC now. It will give your mom a break, give your DD a routine and social interaction. When you do eventually have a 2nd LO you can move your DD to FT DC.

2chatter

I would try to set a schedule for it - like an MDO (or find an MDO).

I think it it's a couple days a week for 5 hours or so at a time it's worthwhile. 

It worked well for DDs and my mom when she cared for them.  The issue we ran into is we cannot fit an infant seat, convertible and booster in my mom's car, so DS is in full time DC.