Simple explanation of what a doula does?

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I had been able to avoid talking about my birth plans with my family until today at dinner. My doula called while we were with my in laws about getting together, and afterwards I mentioned who had called and got this response:

'A what? But you're going to have the doctor and nurses there! There's no reason you should need anyone else... she isn't going to be delivering the baby on her own is she?' 

I tried my best to explain that she isn't replacing doctors and nurses, she is there to coach, support us throughout labor and help us communicate with medical staff. Then they started asking stuff like this:

'Didn't you go to prenatal classes last time? They teach you how to breathe there. You don't need someone else there to show you stuff you already know'

I started getting frustrated because they clearly didn't understand and I didn't know how to explain it simply enough for it to be left alone. I eventually just told them that she was there to help, and then tried to change the subject. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, because I can tell that it makes them uncomfortable. I want a simple way to explain it to them while avoiding further questions about it at the same time.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I haven't had this conversation with my Mom yet, she wants me to just sign up for an elective c-section because it's 'safer', so I can imagine that will be one fun convo if it ever comes up.  

FyreFlyeRush

A doula is like cheerleader for laboring women? And, she is there to make sure your wants are heard when you can't do it. That's over simplifying it, but if they don't get she's a labor coach, IDK how much simpler you can make it.

JuneBug0611

FyreFlyeRush:

A doula is like cheerleader for laboring women? And, she is there to make sure your wants are heard when you can't do it. That's over simplifying it, but if they don't get she's a labor coach, IDK how much simpler you can make it.

A birth coach and advocate for the laboring woman who is experienced in assisting laboring women, isn't emotionally connected to the woman and therefore is better able to think clearly and help her to think clearly and respond as labor progresses, and provides support/comfort/assistance throughout labor.

This differentiates her from the woman's spouse/parents/siblings, who are emotionally connected and aren't as experienced.  It also differentiates her from the doctor/midwife and nurses, who are not present throughout all of labor, and who have other responsibilities than just supporting and advocating for the laboring mom.

If your family doesn't get the value of that, that's fine.  They don't need to think it's valuable.  Only you do.  Frankly, it's none of their business. 

GypsyEsq

JuneBug0611:

A birth coach and advocate for the laboring woman who is experienced in assisting laboring women, isn't emotionally connected to the woman and therefore is better able to think clearly and help her to think clearly and respond as labor progresses, and provides support/comfort/assistance throughout labor.

This differentiates her from the woman's spouse/parents/siblings, who are emotionally connected and aren't as experienced.  It also differentiates her from the doctor/midwife and nurses, who are not present throughout all of labor, and who have other responsibilities than just supporting and advocating for the laboring mom.

If your family doesn't get the value of that, that's fine.  They don't need to think it's valuable.  Only you do.  Frankly, it's none of their business. 

Love this.  A doula attends the laboring mother as a service, at home, during labor and birth, and post-partum.  A doctor comes in to catch, a nurse monitors the baby.  No one else is responsible for the mom the way a doula is, after all you're paying her.  But, all that aside, I had a really hard time explaning the concept to my Mom for my first baby and it wasn't until I went through labor with the doula there (and my mom incidentally) that my mom understood the value.  In fact, she bought her a present afterwards. 

GL!

PansyPants

To me, a doula is someone that keeps track of information that my husband and I didn't have time to. She knew hospital policy so that we didn't have to worry about it, she was there to get me juice and water or to give my husband a break to go pee. She was someone that has been through many births and is aware of all the possible ways labor/delivery can progress and that experience helped to reduce my anxiety about the unknown. 

A doula is like a tour guide for birth, you have the experience but she insures that nothing gets overlooked.