Am I the last one to do sleep training?

amberlucille

I have been putting off sleep training for so long that now I'm wondering if its been too long.  DS was STTN from 2 to 4 months old and now it seems to be getting worse every night since then.  I still BF and sometimes when DS wakes up me or DH can go into his room to just rock him back to sleep, but others I have to nurse him to sleep.  Usually he falls asleep at night being nursed.  I know that he is teething, he has had his two bottom teeth for about a month, and he is just starting to crawl, and he loves his new trick of flipping to get up into the sitting position, and I feel separation anxiety coming on from him (just to name a few of my excuses).  I know that sleep training needs to be done because he cant seem to put himself back to sleep but I have been waiting for a free weekend to start this.  We are so busy in the summer with weddings and other events going on that I cant seem to find a weekend that we will be home.  It is also hard to hear from some people that DS is still too young to let CIO while others say that it should have been done months ago.  We have our 6 month appt Friday and I plan on asking our pedi for her opinion/tips/suggestions on the subject but I was just wondering if you can put off sleep training for too long, and am I the only one left in this situation??  TIA!

smilelari

You're certainly not the only one that hasn't done sleep training.  Sleep training isn't something you have to do.  Babies absolutely will eventually learn to STTN all by themselves.  It just depends on what your personal philosophy and tolerance is because it is absolutely normal to have night wakings until around 2 years old and most people decide they can't handle it any more some time before then.  One of my favorite sleep books is Bedtiming.  It's not another sleep training method.  Instead it talks about when might be a good time for sleep training and says that all methods are equally effective if you time it right.  Based on that book:

Before 4 months - probably too young (there may be a window of opportunity at 2.5-4 months, but this is awfully young for sleep training and although this book says it's ok, I'm very personally opposed to sleep training before 6 months)

4-5.5 months - bad for sleep training: A set of critical abilities is coming together at just this point in the baby?s life. In this case it is a set of motor skills connected to perceptual expectancies?expectancies about the other person?s response?all of which result in the establishment of interpersonal habits of intentional, heartfelt communication. It is best not to rock the boat at this time, not to perturb these budding abilities until they have become well practiced and stabilized. In other words, it is important not to disturb the baby?s new set of interpersonal goals and skills until they?ve really begun to solidify?until the baby gains some confidence that other people really do act the way he expects them to.

5.5-7.5 months - good for sleep training:  Your baby continues to develop new talents and capacities, but they are refinements of skills he?s already achieved, and they generally involve the nonhuman world of toys and other objects. At the same time, he is able to be left alone for longer and longer periods. He may have begun to sit up by himself by now, in which case it?s even easier for him to amuse himself without your intervention, because he can reach for what he wants in almost any direction. But if not, then he can lie on his back or his belly, either pulling at a mobile over his head or reaching for new and interesting things to put in his mouth. He is very interested in this world of things. He knows you?re around. He doesn?t always know exactly where, but he senses that he is not alone. He is a relatively secure little fellow, especially compared to the more volatile baby of 2 months ago. And, most important, he has not yet learned how to search for vanished objects?or vanished parents!

8-11 months: Don't sleep train!!!  The period of 8 to 11 months is one of the worst times to begin sleep training...  Why is the 8 to 11 month period so difficult for sleep training? The problem stems largely from the cognitive milestones of the Point & Click stage described in Chapter 2: the baby?s ability to link one coordination with a second coordination, allowing for joint attention, social referencing, and, most important, the search for hidden objects.  As discussed in Chapter 3, this cognitive advance has profound implications for emotional development. This is the age when nearly all babies start to use double coordinations to get others to help them meet their needs, to point, to read cues, to engage with others in mutual goals, and to search for people who have disappeared from view. The ability to search for vanished objects and people plays a critical role in babies? emotional reactions to separations at this age, so let?s examine this issue in some depth.

12-16 months:  Good for sleep training.  This is when we sleep trained DS (and we picked the timing based on this book).  It was super, super easy. A 12- to 16-month-old child is in another emotionally stable period that is perfect for teaching him good sleep habits... Sleep training at this stage gets a boost from the toddler?s sense of autonomy, her interest in the nonsocial world, her relative independence and security, the robust and resilient nature of her emotions, and the sense of connection and social power she achieves through the beginnings of language. This is a relatively happy kid who can bounce back from emotional challenges, and one who is not so needy as to cling desperately to the image of a recently departed parent. However, sleep training at this age is also hampered by the 1-year-old?s savvy. This kid has just emerged from a phase of relatively intense separation distress. Separations are no longer neutral. They are associated with feelings of loss, anxiety, sadness, and frustration. Although the peak intensity of separation reactions has passed by now, such reactions have not disappeared. Not at all. For the rest of her life, the child will never be entirely free of the potential for pain and anxiety that comes with being left alone and the sense of helplessness that goes with it.

17-21 months - bad for sleep training.  What aspects of this period make it especially troublesome for sleep training? Separation is more painful now than it has been since the age of 8 to 11 months, because it is interpreted according to your baby?s sense of your goals and agendas. If you are somewhere else, you could be intentionally ignoring him, perhaps because you have better things to do.

 

jb2rn

I have never considered sleep training.

At 3.5 mos, ds just started sleeping longer stretches on his own. He put himself on a routine.

Currently, our routine is way off, but we just flew overseas so he is jet lagged. And starting some teething.

I know sleep deprivation sucks, big time. I guess I see alterations in the sleep pattern as transient. They sleep well for a month, something happens, they sleep poorly and are up more at night, then they sleep well again. I hope your lo transitions out of this soon.

Jenny952

I'm in the No Sleep Training camp as well.  Some nights she falls right to sleep on her own, and actually prefers that I don't rock her.  Other nights she cries a few times and I have to go to her and rock/shush/pat her to help her fall asleep.  She is sitll waking once at night for a feeding, which I'm not planning to cut out b/c I know she's hungry. 

duffmaker

We're not really sleep training, DD spent her first night in her own room last night and she woke up a few times but instead of feeding her I gave her the wubbanub and turned her mobile on and she went right back to sleep and didn't wake up to nurse until 5am... I'm hoping she'll start to cut out the little wakeups but I'm not going to push it. I was told most EBF babies (nursing only) won't STTN until they wean because they don't just want the BM but the cuddle time with mama. So I'm not holding my breathe.

skipperkelly

I'm currently reading Ferber's book. I'm torn on sleep training, but I know we've gotten into a bad habit. LO nurses to sleep and he wakes up a few times during the night for his paci. He wakes up once to nurse. I know that he's waking up for the paci because he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep otherwise. We attempted Ferber's plan the other night and after 15 minutes of crying I couldn't stand it anymore...so I'm going to read the entire book and we'll figure it out from there.

I guess my hesitation is because most of the time he sleeps well and honestly is it that bad that I have to get out of bed for a minute to give him his paci? Is it just me being selfish or will it really get him to sleep better? He's an angel baby 99% of the time and I don't want to mess that up.

GL with whatever you decide.

NNGnome

I have not started sleep training either, DS still sleeps in our room, and as pp said his sleep is pretty transient still, some days (like last night) he will "sleep through" from 10 - 9 ( I know he was awake for some of it because he is two foot away and his gurgles and thumb sucking woke me up, but he didn't cry for food so I left him to it and went back to sleep). Most nights he is up once for food, and occasionally he is up 3-4 times (this is usually my fault for disrupting his routine or letting him nap to long during the day).

6 months is the earliest I have heard people say to sleep train, but I have no plans to sleep train, he sleeps in his crib during the day and at some point we will put him in there at night too, but I am in no rush, the 10 - 9 sleeping is new so I am hoping we will slowly have more STTN and less up for food now he is getting solids, when it is more consistant, that is probably when I will move him, but if he doesn't like it he will be back in with me for the time being, I am not worried, it will happen when we are all ready.

Mrs.Greeko

You're not the last.  I don't even consider night weaning until after 12 months so my baby probably won't STTN until after that.  My personal philosophy is that that is okay.  He will do it eventually.  But I also work and to a certain extent my kids have reverse cycled and they need to eat at night to get what they aren't during the day. 

I think that working on healthy sleep habits is a good thing, but it doesn't have to be sleep training.  Work on slowly getting him to fall asleep at night without the boob, that will eventually help with night wakings.  Keep a consistent bed time and routine.  Keep the room dark.  Try to avoid an overtired baby.  Those kinds of things. 

lkm2006

We also don't sleep train. 

My LO had been a wonderful sleeper up until 5 months. Sometimes he will STTN but most of the time, he is still getting up at night. I keep blaming a lot of it on teething even though I don't know if that is the case.  

admico821

We have not sleep trained. The only thing we are doing is trying to help DD learn to sleep with out CIO and we are taking it very slow.

gina2433

I am not sleep training. I figure if he cries or in my case complains in the middle of the night I go to him, put his paci back in and he goes back to sleep. I just don't see the need with my LO. He is a good sleeper and when he is not then I deal with it. I figure parenting is what it is and thats my job from now on. MY BFF, strong coffee.

sccalla

I didn't sleep train DS until he was 15+ months.  I don't intend to sleep train DD until that point either. 

Nwlywed07

We attempted it but in the end he was a much happier baby once we catered to his needs. He only gets up once a night to eat and needs to be patted to back to sleep once after being laid down for the night. Most nights he goes to sleep around 8, wakes up once around 4 for eating and then sleeps again until about 7:30. I really don't mind having to get up...it's very relaxing for the both of us to snuggle up together while he eats.

I figure eventually I will get to sleep through the night again...in a few years when we are done having kids and they are all over the age of 2. Only about 4 more years to go! 

KBBH

We don't sleep train.  I don't believe in CIO.  We had LO in our room with us in a Rock N Play until last Saturday night.  She woke a few times a night and really just needed a pacifier replaced or rocked for 10-15 minutes.  It makes you tired...yes.  But I believe in what a lot of other PPs have said - she will learn on her own and eventually STTN.  On Saturday, we put her in her room (still in the RnP) and for 4 nights in a row, she STTN.  Last night she was up 1x, and back to sleep quickly after.  I think it's a totally personal thing...just do your research and know what you want to choose that will be the best for you - and LO.

brewcitybride

With both my kids, I never actively tried to "sleep train" or read a book or anything. It kind of happened naturally, and with my own motherly instincts. At areound 14 weeks with both kids, they started to sleep long stretches and would whine for that one feeding. I eventually just started to let them whine longer to see what would happen. And they would fall back asleep on their own.