Tell me I'm being ridiculous

Mush-Tastic

Truth is I've been seeing a therapist since September for some generalized anxiety issues I'd been dealing with due to the nature of my job in nursing and how it was affecting my daily life. I have made HUGE strides through therapy and I see my counselor every 3 weeks just to bounce ideas off of her, talk things out, and I'm finally living my life so much happier than I've ever been.

She is 100% supportive of our decision to adopt.

Upon receiving notice that our preliminary adoption application had been accepted, the agency asked for a release of information to speak with my therapist as I had to disclose that I was currently in treatment for anxiety.

I get that it's important they check into our total well-being as parents, but I'm having a hard time getting over how "invasive" this feels. I talked to my therapist about it yesterday and she swears there is nothing she's going to say that will send up a red flag in that I'd be an unfit mother.

I think it's just a sensitive issue for me still and I am not keen on the world knowing my personal business like that.

I am being ridiculous.

I realize.

Has anyone else had to deal with the same thing? Please calm my fears.

lafayettegirl

I totally get it! The adoption process is very invasive, even if you understand why it has to be that way!

I've been seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety-related issues. I knew the agency was going to need to talk to her, so she and I walked through her process. I also talked to our SW at the agency more about what they were looking for too. Basically, they want to know that you are in a place where you can deal with the additional pressures of being a parent. Not only will your therapist confirm you are in a good spot, but he/she will also confirm that you are a willing participant in therapy and understand that when things get tough, you will turn to the therapy and not throw yourself off a bridge. (Okay, that is a little far out, but you know what I mean!)

The thing everyone kept telling me and the thing I had to keep reminding myself was that the agency isn't in the business of turning people away, they are in the business of making families. They want you to be a parent, so they are looking at the positives, not the negatives. Your therapy works as a positive - you are taking action to put yourself in a good, stable place. You are proactive and understand your needs and how to help yourself when the going gets rough. That is all your agency wants.

I've been in your place - my therapist gave me a copy of the letter she sent the agency, which was glowing. She promised that if they called her, she would let me know. They did not.

You are going to be fine. Remember, this is only a way to prove to them that you are going to be a fabulous mom, not a way for them to rule you out! It is going to be okay, I promise.

srmmm09

Oh yes. Through the whole homestudy process I had to watch my grumbling. Knowing how easy it is to get your baby the biological way (nobody asks you about your discipline plans before approving you to get pregnant), it was hard sometimes to have a graduate student who was doing her internship be the person who approves of us as parents.

But she did, so it's whatever now. 

silliestbunny

Your anxiety about the situation is not ridiculous... I get it.

That said, don't sweat the release that you are giving your therapist. It probably annoys her a little too... she isn't going to divulge anything personal...

MayDayGirl

Yikes that sucks! I would hate it too.

[Deleted User]

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Still free to be me

Another thing to remember is that, generally, adoption homestudy writers work in the mental health field, and view seeing a counselor as a positive thing...