Breastfeeding troubles

tarajayne

I really don't know how you MoM's do it!  I have been struggling since day one and I pretty much have 1-2 break downs every day and want to quit.  My little one has not been able to latch, until we got a nipple shield and now he is doing better.  Owen did ok without the shield but the LC thought he did better with it so we have used it for him now too (and now he won't do without).  But, he falls asleep every 5 seconds.  I have ordered a 2nd shield in hopes that I can tandem but I really don't see how I am going to do it on my own.  Even if I manage to get them both on, what happens when I have to burp them? Tomorrow is my first day without help and I am really nervous. 

 I also have not been able to make enough milk for the both of them.  We have had to supplement.  So when they are each on the breast, they go for about 20-25 minutes and they would stay on longer but I cut them off so I don't spend 24/7 feeding.  Then I have to give them each a bottle.  It hasn't been bad when I have had help so that someone can bottle feed the first one while I bf the next... but how I will handle this on my own I have no clue.  I have tried feeding them in the bouncy seats or swing but I can't seem to do this well because they have to be tilted pretty far back for the bottles to work (tomme tippe).  

To top this all off, I have been getting  migraines about every 2 days which makes everything 10 times harder.  During the night feedings I have been doing bottle feedings and pumping so that I can get back to sleep quicker, but it still takes an hour to do that (with help).  

I don't know how I am going to keep doing this on my own and be able to get any sleep and stay sane.  Any words of wisdom would be very appreciated!

Jen0204

It's so, so hard. What helped me was setting small goals - make it until they were out of the NICU, make it to one month, make it until their two mon shots, etc. I made it to 12 weeks, and at that point my supply had dwindled to about 7oz/day (I exclusively pumped) and I was going back to work.

Do you pump during the day? That should help get your supply up. I would try meeting with an LC because it would be so much easier if you can get them to exclusively BF and then cut out the bottles and pumpings. They could also help you get your supply up. Since my never BF well I went to EP around 3-4 weeks.  

Just remember it will get easier. They'll start to eat more at each feeding and have less feedings, which will make it easier. They should get better at BF every day, and every day you'll get better/more confident with handling them and their feedings.  But no matter what you just do the best you can and make the best decision for you and your babies. If BF isn't working, maybe try EPing. If neither of those work and you have to go to a bottle that's okay too, that's what I do now. But if BFing is important to you then seek out some help (an LC is a great support system) and set small goals. You've already done a great job! 

GypsyEsq

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I am not there yet with two but one thing I did was stop watching the clock a just feed DD. It's hard because you do feel like you're nursing 24/7 but all that stimulation is what your body needs to make milk. Sometines she'd nurse for ten minutes and want ore ten minutes later. Other times she would nurse for half an hour!  It was insane the variety  but you make more milk in the am hours so exoect cluster feeding in the evening  

 I also found feeding direct from the breast was always faster than bottle and pumping, especially because I found DD took in almost no air from the boob and therefore didn't need burping. It's all trial and error and survival at this point though. With no help I can't imagine but if someone can at least set you up in the am with some food to eat all day and you can remember to stay hydrated, let the rest go to pot and just focus on feeding, resting, and loving those babies. 

besu-chan

Ugh, I had so many problems too in the beginning. My girls would stay on for 40-60 minutes at a time and we still had to supplement for the first 3 weeks. Plus their latches were terrible so they totally destroyed my nips and I got mastitis twice then a breast abscess (which is what finally forced me to stop). The only reason I kept going through the pain and stress was that I had told myself that I was going to give it my best shot. I didn't want to feel regret later, thinking "if only I would have___ then maybe I would have been able to BF". Even though we weren't able to keep going after the first 2.5 months, I know that I gave it my absolute best. Nobody can ever argue with that, including my own concience. If BFing is something you really want to do, I hope that a mantra like that is something you can continue to repeat to yourself, and hopefully get those around you to repeat to you constantly as well. I really enjoyed BFing after the first month or so, and even with all of our problems I was able to get off the supplements and EBF for about 7 weeks. But if BFing is not really something you believe in that strongly, then I will also tell you that things were admittedly a lot easier when I stopped (a lot of it had to do with their age too though, so if you are able to stick with BF, know that it WILL get soooooo much easier). Just know that I was so incredibly overwhelmed when I first had to go it alone, and to be honest the first few days I was pretty much a failure- they hardly napped at all, there was poop everywhere, at least one baby was screaming pretty much all the time- but we all survived. And now I love spending time with them and have actually started to prefer being on my own with them so that we can stick to our routine! It will get better. I'm sorry that it is so hard right now, but it will get better no matter what happens with BFing.

13pickle

it is one feeding at a time. you have done amazing work for you babies already. 

i have been struggling for almost 5 weeks with BF here is a link to a post that may help you.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/65653056.aspx 

KDR1979

We are  having the same issues. We delivered on 4/17 @ 36wks & 1 day. My son started really nursing last week, but he's 1.5lb bigger than my daughter. Both babies have to have the shield to even consider latching. My son won't latch unless milk is readily available, so I have sometimes pumped to have milk in the shield when he latches (or put some formula in the shield).. But, my son doesn't completely empty the breast and only sometimes gets a full feeding from nursing, we usually still have to supplement. I am only nursing him about 1/2 the time b/c it's too long of a process to do in the middle of the night.

My daughter actuallly made a huge step forward yesterday! And today is my official due date. She was only 5lbs at birth. She used to latch, suck 3 x and fill the shield with milk and then do nothing. Yesterday, she nursed 3 x! I rented a babyweigh scale, so I know how much they eat while nursing. She nursed on the left, while my son nursed on the right and she got 2/3 of her usual feeding the 1st time and about 1/2 of her usual feeding the other 2 times.

I pump 8x/day and also HATE it, but I know I have to keep it up until they can empty the breast better. If I nurse her, then him, then pump the process is usually 1.5 hours!

Everyone says that even full term babies sometimes need a week or 2 to catch on, so I am REALLY hoping that we only have 1-2 more weeks of this long process. Once they both really nurse well, I hope to tandem nurse and then I'll have a lot more time!!

 

jcath

It's really really hard.  I agree with the other posters to set small goals and really define your priorities.  For me, I wanted to be able to get some sleep so I could function and that trumped BFing - for others BFing is the top priority.  Decide what you need the most and devote your time to it b/c there's not enough time/patience/you to go around for much more than one thing.

mirnb

Basically what everyone else said...set small goals....try not to let one bad feeding discourage you and in the end decide what is most important to you....I went for 3 months...did not produce enough to exclusively BF try as I might (pumping all the time, taking natural supplements etc) In the end it came down to BF or my sanity...so we went to formula at 3 months when my husband went back to work. I also had 2 babies with severe colic so every situation is different. As for doing it on your own as someone already said it will get to the point where you would rather do it yourself because you have your own schedule. These early days are so hard but trust me looking back now (my boys are 6 months) I barely even remember how hard it was. Just love them and the rest will fall into place

Temp123197812503460

You got a lot of good advice, I will just add that i basically did just feed. My babies 24/7. Like literally i mostly sat on the couch with them and they would eat, and then sleep and then eat again. Obviously it was easier since i don't have older kids. But im convinced thats what made it possible for me to produce enough milk. So don't think that you are doing something wrong if it seems like they want to eat all the time!

ColleenS629

It is really hard in the beginning. We had similar troubles. A wouldn't latch and needed the shield to get on. R would latch and suck but wouldn't take in a full feeding without the shield. I'll give you my suggestions based on my experience, my research, and discussions with my LC... you can take it or leave it. First, if you don't have a twin BFing pillow, get one NOW. I have the EZ2Nurse Twin. It is a lifesaver. Second, use that pillow and start tandem feeding. It will cut your feeding time in half. The shields were actually helpful to me with tandem feeding because I would get them both on the pillow and support their heads with my hands and they could latch themselves. Without the shield, it took two hands for me to support the baby and get him latched. The pillow will hold the babies on so you can stop and burp one if you need to.. the other baby just stays on the pillow. See if you can do a weighed feeding with your LC so you can know how much the babies are taking and whether they really need bottles. Every ounce of formula you give them is another ounce of milk that your body won't produce. If they do need extra, try to pump and give them the milk that you pumped so that your body knows that you need to make that milk. Let them eat as long as they want... don't cut them off after a certain amount of time. They are telling your body how much milk they need. If you start tandem nursing, it should be easier to let them eat longer since you won't have to worry about stopping to feed the other baby. You can let them eat longer and still have some time that you're not feeding. I remember some days where they would literally eat for 2 hours straight with a few minutes of breaks here and there. If you end up needing to give them formula, pump and keep pumping for 10 minutes after you stop getting milk... this will signal your body to produce more milk so that you can eventually stop supplementing with formula (assuming you want to EBF).

LnA5909

Tara- I am sorry you are struggling.  I have been there recently.  Some quick tips that have helped me:

I highly suggest a hands free pumping bra.  AMAZING!  It enables me to bottlefeed and pump at the same time.  The best methods for us for feeding while "hooked up" are to put both babies in one bouncy chair or to sit in a recliner/ chaise lounge.  Then I put one baby in a boppy that I am straddling.  The other I lay in the "crack" between my extended leg and the edge of the boppy.  For burping, I lay them facedown on my leg, head to the side and try to burp this way.  This allows me to burp two at a time or burp one while continuing to feed the other.

My husbands preferred options for feeding both are also done in recliner/ chaise ir on floor. option 1. sit spread eagle and put both babies' butts on floor/ recliner right by your crotch. Their back towards your belly, their feet towards your feet. Lean one to the left and put their head by your hip, the other top the right and head by hip.  This is great for positioning their heads tilted back. Option 2- in a recliner, extend legs. Put a firm bed pillow across knees. Position babies heads and shoulders on pillow to prop up, feet pointing towards you.

 I hope this little bit helps.  Hang in there!

Vraechel

This is what I did. (my advice is to do what ever wont make you crazy) I fed them 20-25 mins every 2 hours or on demand with a twin breastfeeding pillow tandem. It was the only way I could manage alone. There's a video on utube about how to do this. I don't have all day to breastfeed really since I also have a 22 month old. If they wanted more I offered them a bottle of formula after. Once my milk came in they refused bottles. At first it felt like I was an all day buffet. It was painful frustrating and exhausting. It gets a ton better. Now they are 6 months and we have a great little routine going. My only frustration is that they wont take a bottle. Also I have long days at home with all three. Husband leaves for work at 6am comes home around 6-7 sometimes later. We are military so we don't live near family that could help so we hired a girl to come for 2 hours a day during their fussy time. She comes at 2 and stays until 4. It's amazing how much just this little bit helps. I don't usually leave her with all three but she helps baby wrangle to get me caught up. I do baths during this time or on really rough days go for a quick run. Or a nap. Naps are great. Im sorry about your migraines. That must be rough. Best of luck.

tarajayne

Thank you all for the encouragement.  I have had 2 weigh and feeds with an LC and neither time did they get enough but they did get more when they use the shield.  I have ordered a 2nd shield (don't ask me why I didn't buy 2 when I was there...ug!) so I hope I can tandem bf better with that.  I do have the my breast friend pillow which is wonderful.  

I did survive my first day alone but I just bottle fed and pumped.  I just could not do bf one at a time while the other is screaming.  When I had help the help would console the screaming one but it's really hard to do that solo.  I don't pump anymore after bf'ing because I have to bf, bottle feed and pump and all that would take about 2 hrs and they are eating every 2 hours most times now... At least over the last day I have been able to get things done in 1.5 hrs and be able to lay down at least for about 20 minutes. 

It does help to know that I am not alone, and that it does get better.  I guess that gives me hope!  

 I don't remember who it was who gave suggestions on feeding positions, but thank you!  It's kind of hard to picture it but I will definitely give those a try.