Terrified of ending up with a c-section...

RedRose87

I have had it in my mind to go natural this entire pregnancy. The idea of an epidural scares me to death, I have a major problem with having no control over any part of my body (deep seated issues with that). The thought of not being able to feel my legs or walk around is absolutely horrifying to me.

PLUS, I do not want to epidural or ANY pain medication, because this entire pregnancy I have been allowed Tylenol, so why would I suddenly want to dope me AND my son up on narcotics right before he is born.

And I am confident that my body is going to be able to handle this, even if it hurts, I know I can push through it, and that my body will know what to do. That being said I am absolutely terrified that something is going to go wrong, that will land me in the operating room with a spinal block or epidural. Plus, I want to do skin to skin, and I want to breast feed asap, and I know I want even get to hold him right away with a c-section.

Anyone else completely freaked out about the idea of a c-section?

iris427

I can relate to not wanting a c/s.  But I had one with my first and I promise, you will be ok.  A good way to handle the fear of a c/s is to confront it head on and talk to your provider about it and make a c/s birth plan.  That way you are prepared in case it does happen, and you hopefully know what to expect and have a voice in how things happen.  

Also, it is possible to have pain meds and not have you or baby be "doped up."  It is all well and good to want to avoid pain meds, but don't exaggerate their risks in your mind either.  They have a place sometimes.

Celyn

That's a totally normal feeling to be freaked out by not being able to feel your body and to have a c-section.  Very few people going into any kind of surgery feeling completely at ease.  

If you think it could be a problem for you in being able to relax during your labor, I really like the idea of doing a fear release.  It's a little crunchy, but I've seen it help a lot of people.  Expressing the fear is an important step to releasing it.  If you have deep seated issues, the step by step release that Deepak Chopra put out might be helpful.  It's here: https://life.gaiam.com/article/deepak-chopras-7-step-exercise-release-emotional-turbulence.  Just adapt it to whatever you need it to be.

RedRose87

Celyn:

That's a totally normal feeling to be freaked out by not being able to feel your body and to have a c-section.  Very few people going into any kind of surgery feeling completely at ease.  

If you think it could be a problem for you in being able to relax during your labor, I really like the idea of doing a fear release.  It's a little crunchy, but I've seen it help a lot of people.  Expressing the fear is an important step to releasing it.  If you have deep seated issues, the step by step release that Deepak Chopra put out might be helpful.  It's here: https://life.gaiam.com/article/deepak-chopras-7-step-exercise-release-emotional-turbulence.  Just adapt it to whatever you need it to be.

 

Yep facing my deep seated issues with my fear of losing control of my body is definitely something I am sure I need to face, as I know even with natural birth, I technically don't have "control" in the normal sense of the word. My issues come from having been abused as a child, so my "control issues" definitely permeate many aspects of my life. That article is really insightful, and definitely gives me something to shoot for

blush64

iris427:

I can relate to not wanting a c/s.  But I had one with my first and I promise, you will be ok.  A good way to handle the fear of a c/s is to confront it head on and talk to your provider about it and make a c/s birth plan.  That way you are prepared in case it does happen, and you hopefully know what to expect and have a voice in how things happen.  

Also, it is possible to have pain meds and not have you or baby be "doped up."  It is all well and good to want to avoid pain meds, but don't exaggerate their risks in your mind either.  They have a place sometimes.

I agree with this. (I didn't have a c/s but I agree with the non-bolded as well)

vkbowers

I feel the same way. I would talk to your doctor about your concerns and make sure s/he understands how you feel. I'm TTC #2 and am terrified that I will have to have a c-section. I am also scared about being induced... with my first, my water broke before my contractions started, so they gave me pitocin. I really don't want to go through that again. Hope things work out for you!!

lily225

I was scheduled for a c-section after we discoveredat my 37w appt.  that DS was breech. (He had flipped the night before my appt.). I was not eligible for a version so a c-section was scheduled for the following week.

I cried a lot and was very upset about it. The thought of it scared me (the meds, getting cut open, etc.), I was disappointed that I wouldn't have that immediate bonding time with baby, I was terrified of the recovery with 2 kids at home already. 

I worked hard at turning baby at home, but in the mean time I read up on c-sections on the internet, searched for c-section related posts here on the bump, and I called and talked with 2 SIL's who had had previous c-sections just so I could get their take on it as well as advice for during and after. All those things helped me. Hearing positive stories about the experience and recovery really helped me cope with it and get on board with the idea that it was going to happen.

In the end, I was able to get DS to flip and we cancelled the c-section. I still ended up getting induced and had an epidural, but the whole situation did a lot for me in my personal growth of strength and acceptance. 

I think a lot of moms don't research c-sections because they dont think they will have one (I was one of those moms!!) and I think that's a shame. Having that knowledge is very powerful and can help make the situation better. Read up on it, listen to other mother's stories on how they felt about it (the good and the bad) and also really look into what bonding time you can have immediately after a c-section with your dr./hospital. I have read before that if you push the matter hard enough, you can get some skin to skin time and even nurse immediately after baby is born, just like a vaginal birth. Look into it at least and have that plan set up for the "just in case" scenario that you would have a c-section.

In the end though, odds are your labor will go just fine and you won't need one, so try not to worry about it now. Educate yourself, but don't worry or stress. 

Bonidiebabe

The fear you have is completely normal. I was scared to death to have a c/s. however, sometimes things happen that will require one of these things you fear. You'll have to go with it and do what needs done. Fwiw, I tried really hard to get dude to latch right after birth and he had no interest. I didn't get him on the boob for about 5 hours and there was no issue. He is sucking away right now as we lay skin to skin. Just because some of those things potentially may not happen right after birth does not mean that you can't enjoy them for weeks, months, or years to come. 

Try not to worry too much. Focus on the positive. Envision what you want not what you fear.  

nosoup4u

Look up "Birthing From Within", it's a book, but some areas offer classes, too. The authors talk a lot about fears and worries.

 I ended up with a c/s with my first son, and we were offered skin-to-skin right away (as in, we were still in the OR). Ask your provider about your hospital's policies. Writing up a c/s birth plan is a good idea, just in case. 

jennyann28

I second what PP said about looking into doing a fear release. We did one as part of out hypnobirthing class, and I can't tell you how much it really helped me! I ended up needing Cytotec & 5 hours of continuous monitoring in the bed, and that really ate away at my mental strength to get through the NB (I could not STAND to not be able to get up & move around with double-peaking contractions!). There were times that I felt totally out of control, but I got a great nurse while my regular one was on break who kept telling me how in control I really was, and that I was actually getting through it (this was during transition). That really helped me too, so having someone there (DH, a doula) to help keep you focused could really help too.

RedRose87

Thank you ladies for the reassurances. As a first time mom all I can think about is getting exactly what I want and the birth experience that I want. I know in the end, it doesn't really matter because I will have my little boy and that is what counts. I know I should work towards releasing my fears and accepting other alternatives, as I know that if I don't the disappointment will be unbearable, and I don't want that to take away from the more important things.

BootsOrHearts

It scares me too for many reasons, the epidural being one of them.

My friend had a c-section a few years ago and she was butchered. They literally cut her stomach open across the middle in what looked at the time like 3 or 4 different overlapping cuts. Years later, it still looks awful, the scar is right across the middle of her stomach, just below her bellybutton and it's jagged and puckered. I thought they were supposed to make a small incision right along your bikini line, but I guess that's not how it always works.

Sorry, I feel kinda bad for always sharing these horror stories about friends and family members who have had bad birth experiences. They just stick out in my mind I guess. I have had some friends who've had some good experiences too.

jteneback

I agree with PPs, there are a lot of things about child birth that are out of your control.  We planned a home birth and wound up with a preemie in the NICU for a week.  I went med-free but still didn't get to hold DD and we had a lot of trouble getting started with BFing.  I was SO worried about going past 42 weeks but having a preemie never crossed my mind.  You never know what's going to happen! 

Positive thinking and working on letting go can only help you. 

pepomntpat

How do you know you won't get to hold him right away if you have a c-section? Lots of hospitals are moving in this direction.  They are respecting that bonding time no matter how LO arrives provided everyone is healthy. I planned a nb and I had a c/s and it wasn't fun. I did not get to hold DD for several hours. Despite the less than ideal start she and I continue to have a great BFing relationship and are very attached. It is definitely not ideal, but it won't be the end of all of your good plans.

Be smarter than I was and prepare for the possibility. Talk to your OB about your wishes after the birth in the event you need a c/s. Make sure your DH, OB and nurses all know your wishes. Going in with knowledge will do a lot to ease your fears. 

What is the saying? Plan for the worst but expect the best! You'll do fine! 

jjhp2018

I agree with the others, very common fears. I wanted no where near an epi! My first was a fantastic, quick, epi free vaginal birth and I planned on the same with DD2. A few days before I went in a friend discussed her c-section experiences with me (just incase because I hadn't discussed what happens with anyone at all) and when the time came we ended up having to get DD2 out by c-sec. Since I had been laboring without the epi it really didn't dawn on me I was about to get a spinal (too much pain to think about it lol) but it really wasn't bad for me at all.

The entire c-sec experience wasn't even scary because my friend had told me exactly how things usually go. I ended up having a really good delivery experience.They held my LO up and then DH went with her to get cleaned up while I got put back together! Dh brought her back in and I got to look at her and kiss her cheek while I was on the table. It wasn't but another 20 mins or so and I was in recovery with her right on me! Honestly, I didn't have any less time with her than I had with my vaginal delivery.

Definetly read up (and talk to others if possible) about their c-section experiences at your hospital (and their epi/spinal experiences). Being prepared really helped me in the end. Wishing you all the best!!!

julyjennifer

I was also going to recommend "Birthing From Within" for your particular situation.

Here's a blog post too, on skin-to-skin contact following a cesarean birth, with a great pic of mom doing just that!

https://singlemomontherun.com/2012/05/05/skin-to-skin-contact-following-birth-fight-for-it/