If you are adopting a toddler/older kid and it's your first...

jillianmb

... are you having a shower?  A friend of mine wants to throw me a shower and I am THRILLED about it of course, but also wondering about the time line and how a "toddler shower" will be different than a baby shower.  Our little guy will be two in June and we are still months away from bringing him home. We will travel at least two, probably three, times before bringing him home.  I'm thinking maybe have the shower after the first trip so we have a better idea of his size for clothes?

 Anyone else in this same situation?  What's your shower going to be like?

Art Teacher

We adopted a newborn, but if I was adopting an older child I think waiting until after that first trip might be easier.  Like you said, you would have a better idea of his size. 

We didn't have a shower until after dd was home with us and she was about 2 months old.  It worked out really well - she came to the shower with me so everyone could meet her. 

I think it's really nice that your friend wants to throw the shower.  Sounds like it will be really nice.  Can't imagine that it would be too different than a baby shower.  Have you registered?  You could register for clothes, toys, books, bath tub stuff, etc. 

 

miss1180

we're adopting a little boy from Korea, and i've been thinking about the same thing! he turned 18 months old, and it will probably be another 4 months until we go to get him ( so he'll be like 22 months- 2 years old when he comes home.

  so far, nobody has said anything about a shower for us (but we actually haven't told a few of our close friends becasue the wait is so up in the air, and i just don't feel like constantly answering "when??" :-) )

  anyway- i would like to have one. i dont think it would be too much different than a baby shower- just different stuff :-) even though they are a little older, they still need a lot of the baby "gear". stroller, crib/toddler bed sheets, monitor, car seats, toys, feeding stuff like plates/toddler forks, sippy cups, clothes. and i think especially with paying for the adoption- its nice to have the help of other people buying some of the stuff for you :-)

Robby6

We had a shower 6 weeks after DS came home and he was 2 yrs, 1 month at that time.  I think it's great!

Mrs.Slick

We plan on having a party/shower in between our 2nd and 3rd trips (bring home the 3rd), with one of the big reasons would be knowing sizes and possible likes/dislikes. 

WillisReincarnated

I have a good friend who adopted from China around the same time we adopted C.  We had a shower for her, close to when she knew she was traveling.  We actually had to move the shower date up because her travel date was moved up.  Same kind of shower, just different stuff .

I like the idea of having a shower before you bring him home.  You have the stuff you need and you don't have to worry about bringing him to the shower.  It's much different to bring a newborn baby vs a toddler to a shower .  The latter would be a bit hectic (for me).  Plus, I know my friend was concerned about bonding/instituting the parental relationship and I think she would have been stressed "dealing" with it in a public setting like a shower. 

jillianmb

Thanks ladies.  I agree about having it before he comes home, especially because we aren't going to be "passing him around" to sit on other people's laps or play with them away from me etc for at least the first three months while he bonds with us.   We haven't registered yet; it is hard to know what to register for b/c we don't know how old he'll be when he comes home.  I think I'll tell my friend I'd like the shower sometime after the first visit.  Thanks again ladies; I love hearing your stories.

Mrs.Slick

Also, I started a very general amazon wish list a while back with general stuff that I could update as needed and easily converted to a registry.