Just suffered my second miscarriage!

beckibridget

In October I miscarried my first baby at 11.5 weeks.  I requested genetic testing even though they don't normally do that for the first miscarriage.  The testing showed that the baby had turner's syndrome.  We were pleased to have a reason for the first miscarriage and anxious to try again in 3 months.  And so we did....I got pregnant in February and was about 9 weeks into my second pregnancy when I noticed spotting.  I immediately called the emergency hotline at my Dr. office because this was the first sign of my first miscarriage.  The Dr. told me to get into the office first thing in the morning for an ultrasound.  The ultrasound showed 2 empty sacs measuring about 5 wks.  I was a bit upset but also a bit optimistic thinking that maybe I was just not as far along as I had thought.  Not the case...I went to work the next day, Thursday, and continued bleeding and cramping all day.  Thursday evening was one of the most horrible evenings of my life.  I woke up at about 11PM in horrible pain.  I was bleeding and clotting uncontrollably and I just knew that I was loosing the babies.  I still had hopes that I might be pregnant because of the 2 sacs.  I thought maybe I was miscarrying one and not the other.  Simply not the case.  This is just not fair.  Why can't I carry a baby past the first trimester?  What can I do to make this not happen again.  I am so broken and upset.  My hubby and I want nothing more than to start a beautiful family.  Perhaps we should adopt.

MMAdvisor

I just wanted to post and say I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Last week I lost my twins (also 2 empty sacs).  Somehow it feels extra cruel to know you lost two babies.

Rachaeleigh

I'm so sorry for your loss. It does seem so unfair sometimes and I foind myself getting mad at my body. I do still feel hopeful for future pregnancies but that was after allowinf myself time to grieve for a bit. hugs

Josiecat

My first pregnancy ended in February - my doctor said it was a chemical pregnancy, that "sometimes, your body just needs a kick in the butt to get it started. Go ahead and start trying again, the second time should turn out okay." My second pregnancy ended last week at 9 weeks. When I went for my 8-week sonogram, the doctor said that I got my dates wrong, that I was only 6 weeks along. I WANTED to believe her, I truly did... but I knew there was no way. My instincts were right, my baby just wasn't growing the way it should have been.

Yesterday, I sat down to talk to my husband and let him know that I can't do this a third time. Emotionally, physically...it's just too painful. That we should start looking in to adoption. Because we are both in so much pain, we agreed to table the conversation for a month. In one month we'll sit down and reevaluate our feelings, if we feel we can move forward for a third try, then that's what we'll do. If we choose adoption, we'll hold hands and embark on our new journey. Whatever our choice (and YOUR choice) is, it will be the right one, made at the right time.

I've been very angry at the world, it's not fair. Why does it seem like every other woman out there can pee on a stick, and 9 months later have a perfect baby? Why can't I grow and carry a healthy baby? What did I do to deserve not one, but two miscarriages? Our questioning, our anger, our upset... it's all a normal part of grieving our loss. We need time to heal (again). Remember, we've been down this road before, and we came out okay the last time.

There is someone on this board who has a really amazing quote in her signature- "in the end, it will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end".

((((hugs))))

JennyP0222

I am so so sorry that you are going through this again. You are right, it is not fair at all. I know how hard it is NOT to run into the vicious mind trap of "what did I do wrong?" But just try to remember that there was nothing you could have done differently. Don't give up hope! 

bumpuser2669861

I am so sorry for your losses.  I just had my second m/c in 5 months and it is a horrible experience.  This board can be a real comfort, but I also hate that so many other women have to face the same pain.