To spice things up: when a friend sends nudes to your SO

starchai920 · April 2012

I recently found out that an ex-friend of mine sent nudes (and pretty graphic ones) to my FI about a month before we started dating. I'm unsure of how to feel about it, I mean it's not a real betrayal, because it happened before we were dating. But still, she didn't even tell me about it when FI and I started going out. And FI thought it was so irrelevant he didn't mention it til now. And, no, he doesn't still have the nudes.

Thoughts!

femmepink · April 2012

I find it weird that he didn't mention it earlier. I think with DH and I, that's something that would've come up as soon as we started dating and had any type of conversation about nudie friend.

At least she's an ex-friend. I wouldn't think much about it now, really.

brookelynpaisley · April 2012

starchai920:

I recently found out that an ex-friend of mine sent nudes (and pretty graphic ones) to my FI about a month before we started dating. I'm unsure of how to feel about it, I mean it's not a real betrayal, because it happened before we were dating. But still, she didn't even tell me about it of course not, because she was being a hussy, and once you started dating, that would have been very weird when FI and I started going out. And FI thought it was so irrelevant guys think that kind of stuff is pretty irrelevant. Again, once he started dating you and found himself committed, what good with that knowledge have done. Would it have changed anything? Probably not. he didn't mention it til now. And, no, he doesn't still have the nudes.

Thoughts!

sassenma · April 2012

femmepink:

I find it weird that he didn't mention it earlier. I think with DH and I, that's something that would've come up as soon as we started dating and had any type of conversation about nudie friend.

At least she's an ex-friend. I wouldn't think much about it now, really.

Yes

starchai920 · April 2012

brookelynpaisley:
starchai920:

I recently found out that an ex-friend of mine sent nudes (and pretty graphic ones) to my FI about a month before we started dating. I'm unsure of how to feel about it, I mean it's not a real betrayal, because it happened before we were dating. But still, she didn't even tell me about it of course not, because she was being a hussy, and once you started dating, that would have been very weird when FI and I started going out. And FI thought it was so irrelevant guys think that kind of stuff is pretty irrelevant. Again, once he started dating you and found himself committed, what good with that knowledge have done. Would it have changed anything? Probably not. he didn't mention it til now. And, no, he doesn't still have the nudes.

Thoughts!

Time and again I see the irrelevance of men and sex. They can have porn on, but not really for a sexual thing, just as background noise.

LollipopsAndCrisps · April 2012

Well, since it happened before you started dating, your fiance doesn't have the pictures anymore, and she's no longer a friend, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

If he had held on to the pictures until now, you'd have an issue.

Out of curiosity, how did this come about?

Shayliz · April 2012

I'm not sure how that would come up in conversation back then. "Oh, you're dating Bob now? I sent him some good puss pics last month."

If you weren't dating at the time, and she's not a friend anymore, I wouldn't think about it. Although, I am curious how it was suddenly discovered!

starchai920 · April 2012

LollipopsAndCrisps:
Well, since it happened before you started dating, your fiance doesn't have the pictures anymore, and she's no longer a friend, I don't think it's that big of a deal.
If he had held on to the pictures until now, you'd have an issue.
Out of curiosity, how did this come about?

I heard through the grape vine that she had possibly gotten into making porn, I mentioned it to him and he told me about the nudes.

sassenma · April 2012

Shayliz:

I'm not sure how that would come up in conversation back then. "Oh, you're dating Bob now? I sent him some good puss pics last month."

If you weren't dating at the time, and she's not a friend anymore, I wouldn't think about it. Although, I am curious how it was suddenly discovered!

Ha!

starchai920 · April 2012

fredalina:
When I was 16, a friend of my brother made out with me at a camping trip. He was 24. He is now married to my sister. I often wonder if she knows.

When I was 14, I kissed a friend at a 4th of July party. 4 years later, when he was 20, he married one of my best friends. He told her, and she asked me, and I told her 'yeah, I was very young'.

Lena122 · April 2012

DH's ex sent him pics of her having sex with her new boyfriend a couple months after we started dating. DH told me because he thought it was funny and was suprised when I got pissed (at her, not him). Guys just don't see things the way we do sometimes.