Advice for loss of pet?

~Lily~

If you have experienced a loss of a family pet, how did you handle it with your LO?  Our dog is old and not doing too well and I have no idea what to tell our soon to be 3 year old if our dog passes.  I know she'll ask where is he?  I thought I should be prepared just in case

Alex26

I responded to your post in the Pre-school board.

mbgreenwalt

I am a Vet Tech so I get asked this often.  

You first have to decide how to approach it.  Are you religious?  If so what is your belief structure with death?  Do people and animals who've died go to heaven?  

If you are not religious, what do you believe happens after death?  

Some people find comfort in the Rainbow Bridge concept. 

I always recommend being honest and use final words.  Don't say he went to sleep or away.  Kids think that they will wake up or come back if you use those words.   Say died, went to heaven, will be reincarnated, etc...

We had to euthanize my cat in October.  DD#1 was almost 2 and never even noticed.  At 3 they are more aware, but I'm guessing any questions or grief will be short lived on his part.  I personally think that discussing death is important though at all ages.

I'm sorry your going through this.  It is so hard to lose a pet.  Let me know if you have any other questions.

Worcbride

we lost our dog in Nov.  We told DD that he was sick and that the vet was going to come and take him away (we have a vet who comes to the house) and that he wouldnt be able to return but that he was somewhere where he wasnt sick anymore and that he was happy.  She did real well with it and once he was gone we all talked about him (and still do) and we all say we miss him.  We're planting a tree in the backyard this spring for him.

WiFeY 4 LiFeY

We just had found our cat a new home and we had her 2 years before DS was born. I just told him that she has a new mommy and daddy. I think the truth is best. I would start talking to your LO about it now so it doesnt come as a shock. Tell him "Spots" is getting really old and he my pass soon, or go to doggy heaven.

grapeape73

I lost my childhood dog last year, and it was very hard to explain to DD1.  We aren't religious at all so doggy heaven didn't work for us.  For some reason DD1 got it into her head that Rascal is now living on the moon with other dogs and playing all the time.

Kadyra

Nephew is an interesting child. Very precocious with vocab and concepts. Anyway their older dog had to put down. He never said a word. They got a new dog right away. SIL overheard nephew's prayers one night soon after and he said, "God bless (everyone in the family) and doodle and mountain. But not Dante because he's dead." Dante was their dog. 

My point is that many children won't make a big fuss if you don't. SIL had a laugh about the prayer with nephew and nothings been said since. Nephew may be a bit odd in this sense, but SIL didn't make a big deal of it (even though he was a 12 year old dog and she was devastated) so nephew didn't. My dog is 13. I plan on going SIL's route when she goes. "Pyra went to heaven" or something just so he'll know she's somewhere else and it's nice there. I will deal with his reaction when it comes. He's not nephew and we don't say prayers, but I'm hoping if something along those same lines. 

jenn_darrin1515

In february we lost our 4 yr old kitty (she got hit by a car and died)...initially I didn't tell the girls anything, but 2 days later over breakfast they asked where their tommie was, so we told them she went to kitty heaven where she had plenty of nibbles and could run and play and sleep all day...that seemed to be enough of an explanation for them... altho they did get a little confused about why their other kitty wouldn't be joining her anytime soon...