How do I go on when I feel like I've lost everything

sugar28xx

February 8th 2012 my Fiancee proposed to me . The following day we found out we were expecting . I made my appointments , went to them , I was perfectly healthy aside from severe nausea & a little ache in my left side that wouldn't go away . I had my first ultrasound March 12th 2012 , the technician looked at me & told me to make an appointment to see my Doctor. The following morning I woke up to agonizing pain . I went to the Emergency Room . With in a few hours I miscarried the first baby  . When the er Doctor ordered another ultrasound it showed a 2nd baby lodged in my left fallopian tube & my uterus had collapsed . They took me to surgery , removed a section of my tube & reattached my ovary , they stitched my uterus back in place . The only thing I was holding on to was the promise that in a year we would conceive again . I was released 9days later . Then on the 27th of March my Fiancee left ... Everyone says this will get better , everyone says this is going to hurt less . I'm back on bed rest because I'm not healing & I still can't hold down food so I faint anytime I exert myself  . I couldn't feel them moving yet , but I knew I was having twins , I knew they were there & I loved them . I can't seem to let go . I hear a baby cry & I start having a panic attack . I wake up screaming . I cry in my sleep & I cry when I'm awake . I feel alone in this pain & grief .

Mom of two 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.  ((HUGS))

kristynluvswill

I am so sorry for your loss and your suffering.  Life isn't fair sometimes.

doodlescaboodles

I am so sorry you having to go through all of this. I too was expecting twins and lost them at 19 weeks.  I find comfort in the fact that I know the girls have each other up in heaven...just as your children have each other as well. You are not alone in any of this...there will come a day when the sunshine outweighs the clouds.

Hang in there.

katharine25

I'm so sorry for your losses, that is quite an ordeal to have to go through.

Honestly, the pain never goes away, but with time it does ease. Treat yourself gently, cry as much as you need, throw things (I recommend pillows). Just take each day at a time, and know you are not alone in your pain. 

Gregermis

I"m so sorry... it is so unfair that you are going through all of this.  Try to take things one day at a time

MissRachel621

I'm so sorry, that is a lot to be hit with all at once.  Just know that things will get better and you're not alone.

elplocho

I am so completely sorry that you're going through all this loss at once. (big hugs)

Dandelion321

I'm so sorry to hear of all you're going through.