Does anyone else find family functions with LO exhausting?

bgf1

We are just home from BIL's birthday, and I am exhausted.  I love MIL, and enjoy the company of my IL's but since we had C I find that I almost dread big family functions.  I feel like it is just a stressful day.  I try to plan it so that C can have a nap, but it feels like he spends most of the day overtired, overhungy and overstimulated.

 Today I didn't know when we were having dinner so I tried to hold off on a snack and by the time I gave in and gave him one it was close to dinner.  Then he didn't really want dinner so I tried to scarf my food down while trying to keep C from launching food everywhere.  We didn't leave MIL's until after 8pm and we got there at noon.  By the time we left C was just exhausted and then he hit his second wind.  We just got him to bed now, a good 2 hours after bedtime.  I know a change in routine doesn't hurt once and a while, but I just find the whole day so long that I don't enjoy myself that much.  Does anyone else feel this way?  There are no other small kids ( no other kids period ) on that side of the family so I don't know if that contributes, as outside of C, my DH and I there is no one else there under 50.

Swan21

That does sound exhausting. Luckily I have two neices DD's age so she plays with them for most of the day. It's a 2 hour car ride each way so she usually naps on the way, but then doesn't nap until the way home, which can be a good 12 hours some days. Usuallly by the time we leave she is in meltdown mode. And yes, I am usually utterly exhusted. 4 hours of driving and 8-12 hours of visitting plus crabby kid = worn out mama.

MrsMommyQ

I'm with you. No matter if LO is on schedule or not, being at someone else's house is really tough. You have to chase them around all.the.time for fear that they'll destroy something.

I do NOT enjoy the company of my ILs and that makes it even more of a hassle for me.  Today we were there and all DD wanted to do is play with their cat. She didn't want to each lunch, she just wanted to run around pet the cat. I told DH we had to leave no later than 1 so she could come home and nap (we live 5 min from them) and of course we get home and she's alllll riled up and would nap till 2. Then she was up till almost 8 bc she napped so late. Grrrrrr. I love getting out of the house, but it's such a hassle at this age! 

EMOmamma

Me. I am dreading Easter.  I spend the whole time hovering and chasing.  My grandparents house is far from baby proofed (I wouldn't expect it to be) but the people just don't get it and that's what really drives me nuts. My uncles will be sitting on the couch & just set their plates & beer on the floor. Are you freaking kidding me?! Be smarter! At least set it on the coffee table!

Then someone will offer to take him outside & watch him so I can have a break.  I glance out the window & they're chatting while LO is across the yard 3 ft away from the 10ft cliff down to a river.

We just haven't gone to the last few things but can't really skip Easter.  Ugh. 

ksyknelvr73

I feel the EXACT same way. I have started offering to host things at my house (which may be an option for you?) just so that I can put DS down for a nap if/when I need to, my house is child-proofed so I don't have to hover, etc.

At my in-laws, I don't mind as much b/c there are other kids there and everyone is SUPER watchful over my DS. They are actually really great with him and know how to deal with a baby/infant/toddler...it actually is more stress-free for me. Only problem with going there is naps, so we try to schedule where we go there just after a nap. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

MY family on the other hand...there are no kids whatsoever. DS is the first little one to be around in over 20 years. It's SO obnoxious. No one cares at all that he is there (in the manner of actually keeping an eye on him, making sure he isn't getting into something he shouldn't, etc) so I am literally chasing or holding him the whole time and it is MISERABLE.

MNgirl326

depends on where the function is and who it is with.   My mom's house is exhausting b/c they don't have a baby proofed house at all.  Not even a baby gate for the stairs. 

My dads house isn't so bad b/c my step mom baby proofed a lot of things.

But yeah, in general I don't find family get togethers fun anymore.

nosoup4u

Yep, it's hard when they are that little. It gets better around three, as they can amuse themselves without constant supervision, and they can stay up later. 

MarSamWhitney

Yes, I find it very frazzling at other peoples houses. Especially those that arn't baby proofed!

MrsSR

Yikes!  That doesn't sound like a fun time at all!

Before going to family things DD takes a nap-if she's still sleeping when we need to head out-she stays sleeping.  Her naps are more important than a party.

If she is super crabby when we are there (which has happened once) we leave.

I also bring food with me so if dinner is running late she's still eating at her normal time.  DD operates best on a schedule.  We do our best to keep her on it.  Sometiems we can't and that's life.... 

We've had to leave family functions early because it was getting late and time for her bath/bed.  I don't like to have to leave early, but I don't want an overtired angry toddler screaming all the way home either.

ABColeslaw

Yes totally exhausting. 

FormerlyKrista555

I find family functions to be relaxing, because during that time I don't have to really watch my own kids.... other people are in their face the entire time..lol

laurakaz13

I do. But we bring the PnP everywhere with us and always find a way to get her a nap.  The good news is that when they are family functions everyone is all over DD, so I do get to just hang out. 

bgf1

Thanks for the good ideas.  I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.  The bright side is that C slept until 7:30 this morning so at least we got a little sleep in to recuperate.

LilyRose28

Yes. He's still in the age where he'd rather explore than just play so at my sister's house he wants to climb the stairs, or if we're outside run up and down their brick sidewalk that's on a hill so if he goes fast he faceplants. My 8 y/o niece is good at keeping an eye on him so that helps but if she's busy with a friend or her other cousins then it's mostly me or DH having to chase him around constantly. I'm dreading Easter because there's going to be a lot of people in my aunt's house without much space and no babyproofing. I pray it's nice out so we can be outside for awhile at least.

historychick79

It depends on where we are and the occasion, but generally yes. My parents' house is not childproofed At All--she has decorative china, sewing supplies, you name it lying around. My IL's house is more baby friendly, as is our  BIL/SILs place, since C has 2 cousins on that side and they are prepared for kids his age. Going up to the family cottage/shack on the lake/pond will probably be much easier this year too, now that C is a better walker and everyone has their eye out for everyone else's kids; lots of playmates and fun stuff to explore. Still, it's a lot of work to pack, keep them safe and entertained, and try to make sure everyone has a good time (and heaven help us if C is tired, hungry or teething--like today!)

rsrn02

I totally agree.  Add to that dh is useless at family functions.  It's like he doesn't even have a kid. Unless I get pissed off and plop ds on his lap he doesn't help at all.  Nor do my Il's and mil watches him once a week.  Wth?  My side of the family is great.  In fact, I used to have tobeg to hold him.  Right now though he's everywhere.  Thankfully my sister has a ds that is the same age.  So they can "play" together.  Or we keep each other company as they run around. 

Pits not forever though.  So I'm ok.  

kah01009

YES!! I feel the same way! And such good timing b/c we just had our Easter celebration with DH's family yesterday. We're over an hour from them, which makes it hard. DD is not happy in the car, so we plan it so she naps on the way there, but that results in a super short nap compared to her usual. I was all prepared to let her sleep even once we got there (I'd sit in the car until she woke to ensure a happy, well-rested baby), hoping she'd nap a total of an hour, at least (she will typically nap for 2 hours at home!). Well, she slept for 30 mins and then woke when the car slowed. Yikes! And like you all said, she runs around like mad (after the pets), and I end up just chasing her the whole time. And yes, she's always over-tired, over-stimulated, and most times, too distracted to eat anything (despite my clock watching and fully packed meal bag, lol!). I've learned to at least stick to my guns about leaving at 4pm (hour home and then bed by 6:30pm b/c she's usually so wiped out!), no matter what anyone thinks.

cynnichinny13

It is exhausting. It's usually fun but exhausting. Neither of the grandparents houses are baby proofed other than gates on the stairways. So there is a lot of running around and "no, no, no!" C doesn't like being in a highchair for very long so I usually need to eat fast or DH and I switch turns eating.

It's funny though, when we are at my IL's I find myself doing most of the running around, but when we are at my parents house DH is doing most of the running around. I think its a comfort thing, I don't care about looking lazy at my parents house, but DH still thinks he has something to prove (not that he actually does) and visa versa. It's a funny dynamic. 

ANJ410

Yes, but it gets a lot easier! When we go to family parties now, my DS and the other cousins/kids go off on their own and we don't see or hear from them the whole time. The adults just take turns checking on them every few minutes to make sure they are not burning the place down!

JillAly

There are 2 kinds of family functions:

1) Relatives who take over and play with your kid(s)

2) Relatives say hi, and then you're on your own taking care of them

Families never change.  Their either 1 or 2.  I base my time at a family function on whether we're going to my family (2) or dh's family (1).  I like dh's family better!