older daughter won't participate in activities; younger daughter misses out.. wwyd??

Suern9870

My DD1 just turned 5, DD2 is 3.5.  This winter (jan-march) I enrolled both girls in a gymnastics class at the local rec center. After about 2 classes my older daughter said she didn't want to go anymore, would argue and resist whenever it was time to go.  I ultimately just stopped going, to avoid the drama.  I don't have anyone to watch her, so this meant my younger daughter was also not able to go. (and she actually really enjoyed the class)

Now, I was going to enroll both girls in a music class this afternoon. DD1 has taken this program, on and off, since she was an infant.  She told me she wanted to go back a few weeks ago.  During the winter session, I had enrolled with my DD2 to go while DD1 was at preschool on Mon AM.  We're already enrolled and class is at 4 today ( I still haven't paid- the total fee for 2 kids is about $450).  Last night she tells me she doesn't want to go. DD2 loves this class, BTW. Now DD2's spot on Mon AM is gone. This is the only class left with space. Do I spend the 450 and just drag DD1 to class each week so DD2 doesn't miss out (and I don't waste $450); or do I just skip the class and hope DD2 doesn't notice she's not going anymore  =(...

.

 

Sawyerplus1

Honestly, if your kids were younger then I may say 'skip the class' as you couldn't reason with DD1 and DD2 wouldn't notice. But at 5 and 3.5, DD2 will very likely notice that she keeps getting pulled out of classes she enjoys, and you could say to DD1 that she's going to keep going b/c DD2 is going and it's not fair to her to pull her out. If she really dislikes it, she can sit at the back of the room by herself. It seems to me, just based on this little bit of info, like an attention grab by DD1 to want to do these classes and then want to stop a few weeks later (especially if she knows it negatively affects DD2 as well). 

 But also, at a class for 5 year olds and 3.5 year olds, is it necessary for you to be involved? If DD1 puts up a fuss, could you not take her out and sit with her while DD2 enjoys the class?

Spin313

Do YOU need to participate in the classes with your girls...? If not, I'd just pay for DD2 and sit on the sidelines with DD1. Bring some stories or coloring books for DD1.

neverblushed

Lurker from school aged board here.

Why pull DD2 out, just because DD1 doesn't want to do it?  Is it a class where you have to be with your child?  Pay for both kids.  If DD1 says she doesn't want to do it, see if there's somewhere you can park her on the sidelines with a book while you do the class with DD2.  Odds are, after a week of having to go to along and not being ABLE to participate, she'll rejoin the class.

missfire

My 3.5 year old is always changing his mind, so I imagine this will be him at 5 too. A friend of mine with two older kids lets them decide whether they want to participate, and if they don't, they can read a book on the sidelines. It sucks to feel like you're wasting the money though! I would try to keep it low-pressure and fun. Some kids feel a lot of social anxiety and shyness - I know I did! Others just seem to like to call the shots and change their minds. I don't think either reason is more or less valid, and probably all part of letting them learn what they love to do.  

livinitup

DD is involved with a few activities and I see older and younger siblings waiting with the mom all the time. I'd pay for one who wants it and let the other sit it out with you.