Blended Families

looking for book recommdations

So....I'm venturing into unchartered territory.  So, first thing to do is educate myself.  Specifically, I am looking for books related to how to help my kids deal with the difficulties they are inevitably going to face with their narcissist father. 

If there is anything else you highly recommend in regards to parenting after divorce etc. I would love to hear about it too.

Just keep in mind that my situation is not "normal" and achieving a mutually positive, 2 way communicating, shared parenting type situation is not possible.  My ex has major psychological issues in which he is incapable of having a healthy relationship, or frankly perceiving anything other than what I, the kids, the world etc. owes him.  He is incapable of perceiving his own issues, mistakes or shortcomings and he is incapable of change.  He has no boundaries that normal people live by.

Re: looking for book recommdations

  • Whoo.Boy.  Narcissism is not an easy thing to deal with.

    For you - I recommend Sam Vaknin's Malignant Self Love.

    As far as your kids - do what I did - go online to Amazon and do a search on Narcissism. There are tons of books. I'd write down the a names and authors of those that sound like they'd be good and then go to a book store, and spend time looking them over good before you buy them. Plan a good hour at least.  There are so many books out there, but some are just garbage. The other frustration you will find is there is no real answer to dealing with this.  Just ways of tolerating it and coping.  Which you will have to continually adjust to.  It depends on the results you want. 

    Good luck. You have your hands full with this guy.

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  • hehe - J+K, that is the book I recommended to you after you talked about issues with your SD ;0)  I've read that one, twice....

    The problem is that while it further clarifies what it is, it doesn't help me specifically as a parent.  Sam Vaknin believes that a diagnosis of Narcissism should require permanent professional supervision.  Unfortunately, that is not the reality of our court system, as I can not attest to.  So now I am looking for how to help my kids.  I have found lots of information on narcissism, but very little that touches on how to help the children in this situation.  I did find one book yesterday on amazon, hopefully that will help.

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