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Special Needs
I think it's time for some help, for me.
How crazy that I am even writing this?...I guess it's the therapeutic aspect.
The worry and stress and anxiety of our life is really getting to me. It has slowly consumed me- during the day and night- and I feel like it's time to get some help.
I feel defeated saying that- like I'm not as strong as I should be.
The worry about the future for my DS, and our family for that matter, is one thing. But the daily, constant life with ADHD, AS or whatever the heck he has is killing me. Yesterday we were studying for a geography test he has tomorrow on Argentina- we made blank maps for him and started with him filling them out with having the master right there to copy from. He had to go back SIX times to fix mistakes! Unbelievable! How does that happen when you HAVE THE MASTER RIGHT THERE!?? I thought my head was going to pop off of my body from the frustration!
The lack of motivation he is exhibiting is really disturbing too. It is all day, every day. He's "tired" all the time- unless being actively engaged by us or a friend.
The social piece with his peers is becoming more of an issue. He really only has two friends that call him and I fear he is eating alone at lunch most days. When he does sit at a table near other kids, I'm quite certain he doesn't even talk.
To boot, his teacher recently filled out a form for his upcoming evaluation. In the social piece she circled "withdrawn and isolated" re: peers. Those words have haunted me since I read them. (Interestingly, I had the Special Ed teacher fill out the same form and she circled "average" re: peers. The other part is that his main teacher is not from this country (she is from Colombia) and is Special Ed teacher is American- I wonder how much the cultural piece ties into how they each came to different conclusions there...)
She also circled "severe delay" in many of the areas asked about. I wake up at night and those are the first words in my head.
He says he's "not good at school", "not good enough" and so on.
I feel like I need a level of patience and calm that I am incapable of having. I try- I do, so, so, hard to have the patience..but he is so utterly unable to stay on task, that I have to walk him through every step ALL DAY LONG. It is making my literally insane.
okay, vent over, and excuse me now while I get on the horn and try to find some help.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I think it's time for some help, for me.
These are not fun realizations but important ones as far as your own well being and for the entire family. Therapy is a great place to vent and cry to a non involved non biased individual, if you can find the right therapist for you. Medications may help as well, something to consider.
Do you ever get to leave and do something just for you? I am not good at this one but trying to take advantage of small opportunities while I can before the baby is here. Anyhow, I think the situation you described could easily put any loving involved mother into an overwhelmed state of distress.
Keep trying to find the right "balance" of taking care of yourself and being there for your son. Vent here anytime! Hugs!
thanks
Totally do it. I'm a firm believer in therapy. Most of the general population could use some kind of therapy at some point in their lives....
Just hang on Momma. Hugs.
You ARE as strong as you need to be because you realize that you cannot do this without help. That is such an important realization not only for yourself but for you entire family. It's still touch to realize it and accept it. It took me a few months after DS's dx to realize that I couldn't do it without going back on my anxiety meds. I haven't needed to take them in years but after struggling to hold it together and getting more and more in a hole I made the choice to do something for myself and my family.
((hugs)) to you. You can do this and therapy can only help.
Honey, I have no answers for you, but I will step forward to say "I fight this battle myself daily, along with you." My DS is younger than yours, but I very well could have written your post. My DH and I both have jobs, but DH's hours are insane (eg: leaves the house at 5 am and gets home at 7:15 on a "good" day). I feel very alone in navigating this as a parent, mostly because I am usually the only parent who experiences the truly nasty behavior.
DS's physician described kids like him as "parent-killers", they are fun and quirky and cute and funny and charming to everyone they meet, and save the out-of-control stuff for moms and dads. I tend to agree.
Anyway, I'm proud of you for saying what you need and going after it. Kudos, Mom! You do have to take care of yourself.
...thanks guys. I got an appointment for Wednesday. With a lady who not only seems to know her stuff but has a 15 year old with ADHD and was mis-dx HFA. So, I'm feeling like, she. gets. it.
I feel so much better already knowing that the ball is rolling in terms of getting some help...
I have 2 with ASD and frequently joke that someone had to be medicated to eliminate bloodshed and I volunteered first. I am by nature a type a, somewhat anxious, obsessive person. In my professional life this was such an asset to my career, but it doesn't work with my DSs or maybe with any children. They aren't a project to complete. As my therapist says, the number one thing children need is CALM parents. This is what I strive for every day.
The thing that really hits home is thinking about the damage done to the developing brain when stress is constantly a factor. I hate thinking I am causing undue stress.