The beauty of not being KTFU...

Mitzi Bishi

I could drink tonight! And drink I did!

The downside... the baby topic came up. The couple we were dining with said they will try for a baby right after they get married in August and hope to have one, at least 2 kids in 2 years.

Then the kicker... "anyone can get pregnant these days, like up to 50, especially in America.".... Yeah. (we have super strict laws here with ART)

Then there's me and my DH in our early 30s childless after years and 2 IVFs. Our friends would never have the slightest idea. I never think it will happen to anyone else I know, and we're not out of the closet, so I don't say anything... just hoping the best for them and that their dreams don't come crushing down and pinching my husband's hand under the table.  

Is it bad I don't want to take the na?vety away from others?  Ah, to be young and in love, and full of hope. Weren't those the days? 

Roxie5739

Ahhh.... I remember those days. Purely oblivious to the real world and thinking I want to be married when I am 28 (Fact: 36!), travel the world (Fact: only 8 countries on my list) and have kids when I am 30 (Fact = 0!). It seemed the perfect recipe for life in my naive days but so far from the truth for so many reasons.

GL to your friends and I do hope that it works for them. I thought having 3 older sisters that have 10 kids between them that the kid thing would be a piece of cake for me..... IVF#2 coming down the tracks and crappy egg quality to boot!

IF is so more common that the real world really allows for and thankfully for some celebrity IF struggles it is gaining more awareness.

You did very well to get through that dinner without letting it all go and not bursting their little bubble.

AmCheri

Ughh.  I'm sorry Mitzi.  Those discussions are simply the worst.  You smile in agreement, but on the inside, it feels like another little piece of you just died. Sounds like you did a great job handling it.  And, well, let's be honest -- that drink can't hurt (btw, I hope it was plural drinks)!  Big hugs.  We all know where you're coming from.  **sigh**

abvernon

Cheers!

annalisel

Yeah. I would be drinking to get through that conversation, but wait, I'd probably get more and more tempted to burst their bubble after each drink. Good for you for showing restraint.

I actually enjoy conversations with the blissfully naive about many areas of life. It's a refreshing contrast.

glueck

I hope you drank and drank and drank to get though that. As for your friends, lets hope for them that it IS that easy and that they can stay a bit naive. 

Big hugs, hon. 

angela2004

Drink up! Cheers!! I feel your pain that has happened to us also.((hugs))

farmerlynda

AmCheri:

Ughh.  I'm sorry Mitzi.  Those discussions are simply the worst.  You smile in agreement, but on the inside, it feels like another little piece of you just died. Sounds like you did a great job handling it.  And, well, let's be honest -- that drink can't hurt (btw, I hope it was plural drinks)!  Big hugs.  We all know where you're coming from.  **sigh**

I don't think I could have put it any better myself.  (((hugs)))

And yes, some days I do wish I could get back to that happy, naive, excited place.  But then I think of all I had to go through to get where I am... and I'm glad that, wherever I end up, at least what's behind me is over and I got through it... if that makes any sense.

rockpaperlove

Oh how I often reflect back on those naive pre IF days! Life in general was was kind and forgiving...and inexpensive! We had the world at our fingertips! 

I truly deeply hope your friends find themselves accomplished with their baby making plan to avoid the IF pain and torment.

And, Mitzi, you did great in a tough situation where the blissfully unaware carried on about their baby making hopes and dreams. If only they knew the depths of what the courageous woman across the table has been through! I commend your strength as well as your selfless encouragement for your dinner date friends. Bravo!

Mrs.McIrish

I see it a little different in that "of course" everyone else around me will get KU when they decide it is time.  Somehow no one else around me has a problem...  But Mitzi, I am so impressed you kept your composure. I tell everyone as I can't contain my sadness in the slightest. I think I should have a shirt made that says "even IVF can't K me U"...

zookbride

I think its sweet you didn't want to burst their bubble. But oh to be that naive and blissful again.

Who knew that it would take more than charting?? And then surely meds would do it.... and then even IUIs failing. Its just too much for anyone to have to deal with. 

((hugs)) glad you could drink. Actually a good drink sounds pretty good...I think I might dust off the Kahlua.  

ljhgrey

I was diagnosed so young I never got to experience those blissfully ignorant days! My time with friends in my 20s consisted of people avoiding talking about kids around me b/c most of them knew something was up, or, "You'll have kids one day, don't worry!" Oh, okay.

Glad you were able to suppress your inner rage and I hope you enjoyed your cocktails! IF sucks!!

BeckyP005

Glad you kept your composure...not sure if I could have! I mean spirited sometimes which I don't like.  My thoughts excatly for the summer...DE is on hold so I might as well canoe..bike..summer concerts and drink it up

Mitzi Bishi

BeckyP005:

Glad you kept your composure...not sure if I could have! I mean spirited sometimes which I don't like.  My thoughts excatly for the summer...DE is on hold so I might as well canoe..bike..summer concerts and drink it up

It's so good to enjoy those things, because life rolls on regardless, so you might as well live it, right? 

I think I am always surprised at how na?ve people can be in regards to their own bodies and how they function. It does make me curious how many other people that I know are struggling and keeping quiet like we do.

At least I enjoyed those drinks and no hangover either!! 

Bethany1026

Those were the days definitely.... good for you for being able to hold back and not say anything, I have verbal diarrhea.