We are weaning :-( (advise please) — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

We are weaning :-( (advise please)

So, after being the converted crunchy mom who just kept nursing past 1 year to several people's surprise (including my own) I now have to make that big decision to wean instead of simply let DD self wean. Problem is that in the beginning of May I am going away to a conference for 1 week, leaving DD with my mom. DD will be 2 exactly, in fact she will celebrate her birthday while I am away :-( 

After lots of ignoring the fact I think I am ready. I want my body back and I want more freedom (went out drinking this Saturday and had more than I should have had, which meant that I had to tell an eager morning toddler that she had to wait getting milk. Really tough, even more so with a hangover!).

So my plan is to cut night nursing through March and then the morning session should be gone sometime in April. But my concern is if she will understand this? She still nurses a bit during the day on weekends because I just let her and we enjoy it. So according to my plan from March 1st. I will only let her nurse in the mornings. Is this mean? Should I just go cold turkey? I have started talking about it a bit but she is still incredible into nursing. She plays with her dolls and let them nurse. She discovered her own nipples and pointed to them 'mammam!' (mommy milk). Oh, I feel so bad but at the same time I am excited to be done. 

Single mom of DD (2010), TTC #2 since June 2013.
Occasionally I'm blogging about my life with flybaby.

Re: We are weaning :-( (advise please)

  • I think it obviously is different for different kids, but in our case, DS also loved to nurse and I couldn't even get him to drop the night sessions, so in the end, we went cold turkey and surprisingly, it worked far better than I could ever have hoped! It was right before he turned 18 months and one day, when he woke up from his nap and wanted to nurse, I told him that we were done with nursing. He was a big boy now, slept in his big boy bed and drank big boy milk. I hugged him and cuddled with him for a long time and he cried hard for maybe 10-15 mins and then was cuddly the rest of the afternoon. That night, he cried again for about 10 mins, not so hard and then that was it. The next 2-3 nights, I sent DH in when he woke up at night and one thing I realized, that this was ok the first night, but I think it was the 2nd or 3rd night, that DS became inconsolable... I went in and it wasn't that he wanted to nurse, he just wanted Mommy to comfort him... So I started also going in to comfort him at night and put him to bed like before. We still cuddle lots and he sees me naked when I shower, even discovered my nipples and points at them, but that's it, he doesn't ask for milk or ask to nurse.

    Good luck... it is SO tough at the time, but it all works out in the end!! Stay strong!

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  • I was in a similar situation where I had to leave for a trip last year and DD was 28 mos. I know Z is a little younger but we started talking about the eventual end to nursing when she was around 2. The conversation went something like this:

    "When Harper gets big she won't need mama's milk anymore we will just snuggle instead. When mama goes on a airplane Harper will be a big girl." Then she would laugh and say "I want to be big". I would say "O.k. do you want to try to go to bed without mama's milk and be big?". The she would laugh hysterically and say "Nooo!".

    She was down to one session by the time I left and I had no supply left so it wasn't worth pumping on a busy international business trip. She did just fine with DH putting her to sleep and it lessened the association. I don't think you HAVE to 100% be done before you leave and that sometimes the path of least resistance is easier. Of course, every child is different. Either way I think talking about it helps. They DO understand.

    You can also come up with some sort of weaning reward. I remember another poster's lo wanted a pet fish, so she got a fish in exchange for weaning. You could try a version of the paci fairy, although more imagination is needed since you can't put your breasts out in the garden all night :-). Kellymom.com also has other suggestions.

     

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  • I'm not weaning but trying to slow down nursing sessions. It helps that I'm pregnant and have very little supply. I tell DS that na-na is sleepy, all done na-na, we'll have na-na later, bye bye na-na. Sometimes he cries, but usually he'll say "bye bye na-na" and be fine.

    The hardest time for us is middle of the night. During the day he deals with is really well, but at night when he is half asleep he just wants the comfort. Whether or not I give in or not depends on how exhausted and sore I am, and how upset he gets. We're working it out.

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  • Thanks for the feedback. I still think I will try to cut the night session first and then the morning one last. I don't nurse during the night at all, the limit is 6am because it seems like DD can't really fall back asleep with it like she used to. So basically there are only two sessions left.
    Single mom of DD (2010), TTC #2 since June 2013.
    Occasionally I'm blogging about my life with flybaby.
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