My petty vent

mcurban

aka: mcurban is a bigfatjerk.

I'm married to a guy who is the oldest of 7. Typically, big families=big fun. It is always more fun, when we head back to the east coast, to hang out w/ DH's family b/c there's more of them! They're great people, blah, blah, blah.

But, we got word yesterday that his sister is engaged. That makes for three weddings in under a year. That means flying home AGAIN. For the last three, we (the boys and I) have turned it into a month (+) long stay at my parents' house b/c we just can't justify $1,600-$2,000 for a weekend trip. But, I am getting SOOOOO tired of a) spending that kind of money to go home and b)having to spend a month away from my husband for a trip that I didn't even really want to take!

DH talked to his little sister to find out if they were discussing dates at all and it seems that they are planning for late fall/early winter. So, a couple of months before we would be planning on going home for Christmas. We simply can't spend that money back to back like that. I let DH know that, if the wedding was in Oct/Nov, that he could go alone and I would stay here w/ the kids.

The good news- after this one, this leaves only 2 siblings to get married!

Nessia

You're not being a bigfatjerk. They should understand that it costs $$$ to fly over as a family of four.

brideonjuly8

How does you not having the cash to fly a family of four to the NE half a dozen times in a year = you being a jerk? If you don't have the money, you don't have the money.  We wouldn't either and actually, I don't know very many couples with two young kids that COULD afford to fly up there that many times.

Sucks you all can't go, and picking and choosing must suck too, but they should understand.  Would they willing and able to fly down here that many times?

mcurban

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

I feel like a jerk about it b/c I should be all, "Yaaaay! Wedding! Hooray, happiness, etc!!" But, my immediate reaction is, "Shiit. Another one????" Especially when weddings + 2 kids - drinking = no fun.  My parents kept the boys for the last one, which was awwwwwwwesome (and a nice time alone w/ DH after being away from him for the month), but the next one it's not an option b/c Jack is the ring bearer.

 

agran

this does not make you a big fat jerk... it's understandable.  Although don't count your chickens for only sending dh... if I had a nephew as cute as Jack I'd tap him for ring bearer in my wedding too so SIL may do that. 

FireChiefsBride

Wow, that's a lot of full family travel.  I don't think you're wrong for trying to pair it down.

mlf625

Oof.  That sucks, and I'd be all "OMG MONEY NO!" about it, too.  

mcurban

agran:

this does not make you a big fat jerk... it's understandable.  Although don't count your chickens for only sending dh... if I had a nephew as cute as Jack I'd tap him for ring bearer in my wedding too so SIL may do that. 

lol- thanks. My BIL actually asked him for the last wedding and we declined saying that he would likely get nervous about it (mostly true). Really, we just didn't want him crashing our party when we already had an offer from my folks to babysit him

mcurban

FireChiefsBride:

Wow, that's a lot of full family travel.  I don't think you're wrong for trying to pair it down.

That's it, exactly, FCB. It would be a different situation, entirely, if we had my parents (or other close family) here in Austin that could watch the kids. But, when we go somewhere out of state we have to take the whole crew. 

 

PMBridetobe

You are not a jerk!  Before we had the twins, we spent like 4 Christmas's with DH's family in the North.  For some of it we had to in order for him to see his daughter, so I totoally get that but then she was allowed to fly.  I absolutely put my foot down and told him he could spend Christmas whereever he wanted to. I wanted my home, my couch and my bed for Christmas.

 At this point, I could not imagine uprooting my entire life for a month along with the kiddos as much as it seems there is an opportunity to.  I totally get wanting to be near family but so dont think you are a jerk!

nanann

Just thought I'd also remind you that the month-long trips aren't going to work anymore anyway starting next fall except for the summers -- you won't be able to pull Jack out of school that long!  So, you can not go and just blame it on school!

I had a hard time moving to the mindset of not being able to go where we want when we want once school started.

mcurban

nanann:

Just thought I'd also remind you that the month-long trips aren't going to work anymore anyway starting next fall except for the summers -- you won't be able to pull Jack out of school that long!  So, you can not go and just blame it on school!

I had a hard time moving to the mindset of not being able to go where we want when we want once school started.

Yep. DH and I discussed this very shortly after she said late fall/early winter. 

We have WAY too much east coast stuff going on this year; Marine Corps Marathon, my dad's 70th (my mom is throwing a partay), SIL's wedding (depending on date), and DH's exam- all in October.