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mau_loa
member
Did having a child put you in debt?
mau_loa
member
Thanks to all the Ladies that answered my post on how much daycare costs. Based on that information there is no way that DH and I can afford a child. We would definitely, most likely, start having credit card debt.
So my question is....did having a child put you in debt? By debt, I mean "paycheck-to-paycheck-having a credit card balance to by the groceries" debt.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Did having a child put you in debt?
No.
And, this is probably flameful, but I wouldn't TTC if having a kid would jeopardize our financial situation. Unexpected preg happen & we would have rolled with it, but being a parent is hard enough...I can't imagine dealing with snowballing consumer debt on top of it. Not to mention that not saving for retirement does no one any favors.
We bought a house we could afford with one in daycare. We ultimately want 2 kids & while I'd like them to be closer in age, we can't afford 2 in daycare for very long so we're holding off on #2 to minimize that double up. and we've downgraded our lifestyle to help compensate for daycare (local vacations vs. international ones, cheaper restaurants more, eating out less in general, etc.) I will say that having a kid helped make these "lifestyle" things easier to do (he'd be a nightmare in a nicer restaurant, 9 hrs. on a plane with him sounds the opposite of relaxing, etc.)
This. If you think you won't be able to afford groceries then don't do it. But before you decide it's off the table, take a look at your finances. You may find that you can get by on one salary (especially if you can find ways to cut back) and then you won't need daycare. If that's not an option, pay off your debt and then start thinking about a family. Kids are EXPENSIVE - even if you live simply. Doctor visits, unexpected medical conditions, baby gear (even just the basics), clothes/shoes, formula if you don't BF, etc. all add up. There is no way I would willingly go into credit card debt to start a family.
no, definitely not. But we are "older parents," we were in our mid-30s for the 1st one and I've always been very thrifty (OK, cheap) and a saver, not a spender.
You need to take a look at where your money goes every month. Try living off one salary for a few months and see how it goes.
no, and like PP, we definitely would not have had a child on purpose if it would have put us into debt. however, I know plenty of people who didn't plan on a child and they make it work financially.
we have far, far less disposable income (stupid college savings!) and that is frustrating sometimes, but definitely worth it.
nope not at all. I SAH but we still took the sacrifice of my salary from before DS. we figured it out ahead of time to see what we could afford on 1 income and have cut back in other areas. We don't take fancy trips anywhere as often...like every 5 years instead of every 1 year. We would not have had a child if it was going to....that being said like pp, if we had an ooops baby, we would have rolled with it.
but on the flip side, you may be able to make sacrifices other places if starting a family is really high on your list:-)
No, but like Sofka, we're 'older parents' too - we waited until we had gotten to where we wanted in our careers and until we were financially stable enough to afford a house and live a life with a kiddo in tow. That being said, I had to go back to work so that we could continue to swing our lifestyle but that would have been true, kiddo or not.
Plus, we're just not the type of people that are comfortable with debt (well, besides the ginormous mortgage ;-) so we wouldn't have TTC unless we felt we could provide for the little girl.
This is us exactly - we worked out our finances so we could afford DH quitting his job and using his GI benefits to go to school full time. We made lifestyle changes in order to fulfill his dream of completing college while being able to afford DD. We know we'll have to wait for number 2 until DH is done with school.
No - it did not and I would not feel comfortable going into debt to start a family. (Although as others have said - if it had happened - we would have figured out a way to make it work) But like others have said - a careful look at your finances may make it possible. I know the money matters board can give good (if sometimes difficult to hear) feedback. And if it will not work in this area even after cutting back, there is always the option to move to a less expensive area.
Good luck!
This is us...#1 was not as huge hit as I thought it might be, but a second in daycare is going to be a bigger deal. Did a child put us into debt, no. Did it change our lifestyle? Yes. We also now have a bigger mortgage because we needed more space for #2. Like others, we dramatically stopped how much we eat out, we go on vacation just to an NC beach once a year, and we just don't do a lot of going "out" at all. I am much more careful about how buying little things here and there add up. So, while it might not seem like you can do it with your current buget, it might be worth looking at it to see what you could change, if you are ready to TTC.
No. One of my goals before having a child was to pay off all credit card debt and have a certain amount of money saved. We made some significant lifestyle changes a couple of years before having our son that made saving and spending down debt possible. I got a better paying job and our living situation changed to a much cheaper one.
With a second child on the way I certainly have moments of "how on earth are we going to swing this?" We'll be doing some serious looking at our budget.
This is very wise. When we were planning to have baby #3 we "found" money we never knew we had. It's amazing how much you can scrimp and save, and add income here and there, when you really pay attention to every dollar.
No. We planned, saved, and got our finances in order before TTC. We both want to have a third child (for the most part) but unless we can figure out how to swing it financially, we aren't going to do it...or at least we aren't going to do it until we can afford it.
I know from your other post that you said you want to start TTC. So, I think you should be commended for evaluating your finances ahead of time. This is a good opportunity to analyze your finances and start figuring out whether you can swing it or not and/or what you need to change in order to be able to do it. There are some great resources available out there. Some of my favorite financial resources are:
1. Mint.com for tracking and managing finances.
2. The Money Saving Mom blog. There are some amazing mommy bloggers out there that explain the many creative ways that they figure out how to manage a tight budget. Here's one of them (she also has a lot of guest posters). She also explains how to get free stuff at CVS and RiteAid (I used to do it and I would get free items each week but it takes time).
https://moneysavingmom.com/
3. I'm also a huge fan of Suze Orman and I've learned a lot from her books which should all be available at the library.
4. Lastly, I've heard a lot of good things about Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace University. I have not done it myself but I know people who have and rave about it.
https://www.daveramsey.com/home/
Best wishes and please let us know if you have more questions as you figure these things out.
I'd say to wait a bit longer to TTC if you're going to have to put groceries on a credit card/run up debt. The stress of that plus a new baby on your marriage would be tough.
Like a lot of the other posters, we are older parents and had saved up a good bit in our baby fund before TTC. We also had a decent e-fund, owned our home, and new we could afford daycare. Of course, when we found out we were having twins, we had to find places to cut and it changed our lifestyle even more. No more gym membership, we don't eat out that often, and our vacations this year are to Pennsylvania (Amish Country) instead of Europe or the Caribbean. But, we're trying to do whatever is possible to stay out of debt, maintain a 6-month emergency fund, and keep a baby fund at all times so we don't have to stress out money.
No, we are actually in a better financial situation than we were. I will say having kids made us way more frugal. We ate out less, drank less alcohol, bought less for ourselves and went on vacation less. If you are already as frugal as can be than having a kid may stress you out too much financially. I know the daycare amounts seem crazy, but somehow we made it work. For us we probably ended up putting less toward paying down debt (some cc, cars, mortgage and student loans). If we waited until we had everything in complete order - no debt except for mortgage - I don't know when we would have kids.
It is financially daunting and you need to take a good look because like pp said, if you won't be able to eat after paying $250/week for daycare (on the lower end but not impossible to find) then maybe now is not a good time. On the positive side it is always good to look at what you can cut out and save for the future.
No. And we wouldn't have TTC if it would have put us in debt. There's been a very interesting exchange over the past couple of days on my neighborhood listserve about the cost of living here and the trade off with kids. The biggest impact on your life is the reduced flexibility, and that only gets harder with time, not easier. Before kids you might be able to pick up second job or work overtime to help ease the budget. While certainly possible, there are other considerations that take place when you have kids - can your spouse be home during that time, do you have to pay for additional childcare, how much will you net based on childcare costs? And commuting takes on a whole new meaning. Not only are you away from your child during that time, but you're paying for childcare during that time as well.
There was a very thoughtful post by someone who after a few years with kids in this area realized it was never going to work long term. They made a dramatic decision to move to a LCOL area. The change has been incredibly positive. Shorter commute so more time with kids. Overall lower expenses, especially childcare. Etc.
Just because TTC in this area may not fit into the budget, don't rule out other possibilities even if they seem difficult at first. There are certainly tradeoffs with that kind of decision, but the tradeoffs may be worth it if they help you meet another goal.
This is us. There have been a few surprise expenses that we have had to put on the credit card, but it is evening out, and we are paying that down a little each month. However, we have some savings.
Also, one thing that I didn't see mentioned was using Dependent Care Flex Spending Accounts (if they are available to you, not sure about that). But we allot the max each year ($5,000) of pre-taxed salary that goes toward child care. So, while we are spending the money up front for daycare, we get a chunk back (either a small amount in each paycheck, or in a lump sum) which helps us out a lot, especially with just one kid in daycare.
And just to echo the PPs, it's amazing how much money we dwindled away by going out for coffee & meals on weekends, Pizza/Chinese delivery during the week, clothes shopping, mani/pedi pampering, etc. Eliminating or greatly reducing these things adds up really quickly. I've also started clipping coupons, searching for good deals through Amazon Prime, reducing our travel, etc. It can be done.
No, we definitely wanted to stable financially before having a baby. Could we have been more prepared? Sure, you can always have more saved. There is always a reason to wait. But accruing debt to have a baby was not an option.
Having DS has caused to be more frugal. In contrast to this, it definitely has taken us longer to save for a DP than if we didn't have him. But we love where we live so we weren't in a huge rush to buy something. It works for us now.
You might look into a financial book for you and DH to read like "Smart Couples Finish Rich." There are some great exercises in there about linking your goals to financial actions you can take now.
Good luck.
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
We definitely crunched numbers prior to TTC and were pleasantly surprised that we don't feel totally poor now that we have a baby. Daycare is the biggest shock to the bottom line, but we have found, like previous posters, that we spend so much less on travel, clothes, eating out, etc., that it isn't such a huge difference. We had also built up a healthy savings so we could pay for IVF if necessary, but thank goodness it wasn't, so we started off pregnancy and parenthood with a cushion. I also had enough PTO to pay for my entire 16 week maternity leave.
We could live on one income without daycare, but would have very few extras, so we both work (we make within $10-$15k of each other, so there isn't a "breadwinner" per se). I also can't imagine that either of us would be happy as a SAHP.
This was us, too. We could afford everything without going into debt, but we were slower about paying off cc debt and not putting as much into savings for a while. Now, after two years, the cost of daycare has gone while our incomes have gone up. We've been able to pay off cc debt and are putting much more into savings (although I'm sure that will not be the case once we have #2).
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
