Anyone considered waiting/sending one early for them to go to school together?

malloryjean

My husband just brought this up, either if possible sending one child a little earlier or waiting to send the other so that they could begin kindergarten together.

My son is going to be one this April, and our other is on the way this August, so they will be 16 months apart - not sure if this is really even possible with the age gap but wondering if anyone had ever considered this/or actually done it?  

Daisy22

We will most likely hold back our oldest b/c of his June birthday and most of the private schools around us recommend it. Even then my boys (15 months apart)  would not be in the same grade. They'd be in back to back grades through.

Just to have them in the same grade I would not hold one back. They do need some identity away from each other in my opinion.

AB&TB

Agreed with pp.  My girls are only 12 months apart & will still be in back to back grades.

had720

Our girls will be in back to back grades as well and are also 16months apart. I would not hold one back so they could be the same grade. It really drpends on readiness and if you feel one is not ready than I can see why you would do that.

howleyshell

I guess I'm missing something because I don't understand why you would want this for your kids....

BeckyTheEngineer

I am in training as a school psychologist, so I have some experience in evaluating school readiness.  It is incredibly rare for my district to allow a child to start early, and the child would have to be very advance academically and in terms of maturity.  Having a child start late is not preferred either, because there is a great deal of value in being the same age as classmates.  Make the decision based on their readiness for school, not keeping them together. 

Especially with an age difference, the older child might feel kind of dumb, or that she is being held back from her potential.   I'm a twin, and my sister and I were never in the same class.  Schools generally don't like to put siblings together, if they can help it. 

marielovestimothy03

howleyshell:

I guess I'm missing something because I don't understand why you would want this for your kids....

Agreed. I was 2 years apart from my sister in school and it was perfect. We were close but far enough apart to have our own friends, interests and such. I can't imagine holding an older kid back to be in the same grade as a younger sibling. My first 2 are 16.5 months apart but because of where their birthdays fall they'll be 2 years apart in school and I'm totally fine with that.

marielovestimothy03

BeckyTheEngineer:

I am in training as a school psychologist, so I have some experience in evaluating school readiness.  It is incredibly rare for my district to allow a child to start early, and the child would have to be very advance academically and in terms of maturity.  Having a child start late is not preferred either, because there is a great deal of value in being the same age as classmates.  Make the decision based on their readiness for school, not keeping them together. 

Especially with an age difference, the older child might feel kind of dumb, or that she is being held back from her potential.   I'm a twin, and my sister and I were never in the same class.  Schools generally don't like to put siblings together, if they can help it. 

100% agree with this.

kagl08

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. They will be in back to back grades. Technically I could hold my DD back so she is in the same grade as my DS and her age would be the same as most in her class (she has an August birthday). I would never do that though. I would rather them be a year apart so they have their own friends and their own identity. Only twins should be in the same grade, unless one is left back for an academic reason...

12bailey18

howleyshell:

I guess I'm missing something because I don't understand why you would want this for your kids....

I agrree. I don't see the benefit in it. I imagine they would probably want a break from each other and have their own circle of friends.

ktshafra

As a teacher I strongly encourage you to consider their abilities as they get closer to entering school instead of what is potentially easiest for you. The decision to start Kindergarten at 4, 5, or 6 greatly depends on the child's social maturity and fine motor skills, less with their actual age. It may turn out that your children end up in the same grade because of this, or they may end up two years apart because of the need to hone some skills before beginning Kindergarten. Whatever happens, please keep in mind what's best for your child.

My children will be 13 months apart but due to new cut off dates in the next couple years they will be 2 grades apart. Of course, that's assuming they start "on time," but if they need extra time to prepare social or fine motor skills, then they'll take that extra time. The school I work at has a 2 year Kindergarten that starts at 4 years old, though, so I'll probably do that with both if they pass the entrance test.

smerka

This discussion happens all the time in my house because my kids are technically going to be in the same grade.  Being born on or before Sept. 1 is the cutoff to start kindergarten in my district and that's the day my younger son was born.  My older son has a speech delay so we're assuming he'll start when he's supposed and be one of the older kids in the class with a later in September birthday.  I think we'll probably hold the younger one back so they are not in the same grade but my husband thinks we should let them be in the same grade.  Everyone I've ever asked says to keep them apart and wait until they are ready and not push.   We will defer to the experts when the time comes. 

moonfaerie

In addition to wanting my children to start school based on their individual readiness, it's extremely important for siblings to establish identities separate from one another. So, no, the thought of making my kids go to school together has not crossed my mind.

laura1

ktshafra:

As a teacher I strongly encourage you to consider their abilities as they get closer to entering school instead of what is potentially easiest for you. The decision to start Kindergarten at 4, 5, or 6 greatly depends on the child's social maturity and fine motor skills, less with their actual age. It may turn out that your children end up in the same grade because of this, or they may end up two years apart because of the need to hone some skills before beginning Kindergarten. Whatever happens, please keep in mind what's best for your child.

My children will be 13 months apart but due to new cut off dates in the next couple years they will be 2 grades apart. Of course, that's assuming they start "on time," but if they need extra time to prepare social or fine motor skills, then they'll take that extra time. The school I work at has a 2 year Kindergarten that starts at 4 years old, though, so I'll probably do that with both if they pass the entrance test.

This was the same situation with my sister and I, except the cutoff was Dec. 31st back then, and my sister's birthday was in early January, mine in late December of the same year.  My mom opted to send my sister early (she only missed the cutoff by less than 2 weeks), and me on time.  It meant that we were both always the youngest in our classes, but it was fine.

My parents felt really strongly that we shouldn't be in the same class - we weren't twins, and it would have been strange.  That, and there would have been so much competition.  We also had our own friends.  I think it worked out well for us to be in separate classes.  Good luck! 

JoannaJes

No, because I don't want to pay for both of them to be in college at the exact same time. I'd rather space out that pain as much as possible.

kcisthebombdotcom

I will not deliberately send them to kindergarten the same year. If it ends up being that way, then that's fine.

ctbride08

My girls are 12 months apart and its our goal for them to be 1 year apart in school. 

The readiness is a more complicated factor with 2 so close in age - I do feel the need to have them both start at the same age (ie. if I send the oldest at 4, I'll want to do the same for the younger sister).  The real discussions will come in a few years when we can truely evaluate their school readiness.

Bride2b2004

No way.  K readiness is the only thing I care about.  I would hope they would NOT start together.  That makes things more complicated for them and adds to sibling rivalry.  Parents I know of twins make an effort to enroll them in different classes.  They need the time apart and they do not need to be constantly measured against their sibling.

PhilsWife07

Mine are not close enough in age for this to even be an option, but I wouldn't do it, even if it was. They could potentially be one grade apart if I held one back and not the other. I wouldn't even want them to be that close in grades though.