June 2012 Moms

Ridiculous Vent

For some reason, I feel very passionate about this today, and I'm feeling the urge to vent about it.

I'm sick and tired of people saying that they had to find out if they were having a boy or a girl at their a/s because they're planners. That implies that anybody that is Team Green doesn't plan for their baby. That's just dumb. Just because I'm Team Green doesn't mean I'm not planning. Just be honest, say that you wanted gender specific items for your little one, or even better - you chose to find out because it was the best decision for you and your SO. I have no judgement. I don't care if people choose to find out or not, but don't imply that I'm less prepared for my child because I don't know what's between its legs.

 Thank you for reading! I feel so much better. 

Anniversary

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

image

Re: Ridiculous Vent

  • I had a hard time coming around to team green.  My DH was set that we wouldn't find out, but I really wanted to so I could "plan."  Well I've had a lot of time to think on it and knew we were going to do it DH's way this time.  But now that I've had to defend our decision to so many people, I have come to a conclusion about "planning."  Team Green plans for not only this pregnancy, but all future ones... Anything I buy and plan for this time can be carried over to my next LO.  Which wouldn't be true if I was buying all pink or blue items.  So Team Green just is a different way of planning.

    Factor V Leiden Homozygous, Advanced Maternal Age

     

    TTC #1, 5 yrs, PCOS, Femera + Ovidrel.

    IUI#3 BFP, DD 5/31/2012

    image

    TTC #2, 2 yrs, PCOS, Femera+Ovidrel

    IUI#2 BFP!

    image

  • I can definitely see why comments like that would be irritating! 

    It's everyone's own personal choice. I honestly don't think being a planner or whatever has a lot to do with it, fundamentally. Like, if for some reason  you can't tell what you're having, it would imply you'd just leave it until you found out what it was (birth).

    I think it takes more strength to be team green these days. I know I was weak (I just wanted to know because I'm nosy)! 

    claudia poirier
    Little Dude: 16 Apr. 2009 | Little Doll: 10 Jun. 2012

  • I pretty much agree.  I am a huge planner but probably would have stayed team green if not for DH.  He is terrible at decisions so I knew it would be less stressful for me if we only had to agree on one name rather than two.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFruit Ticker
  • That's hilarious. I am one of the ones who had to know with my second! But, it doesn't mean I think anyone who doesn't find out is unprepared at all. Geee when people say 'prepared' it's more about clothing, baby items, and nursery decorations! Has nothing to do with parenting styles or anything that controversial. I didn't want to know with my first and so I can relate and respect that. Please don't be insulted, or think anyone is insulting you by saying they like to plan. I do like to be prepared and I'm sorry if it bothers you.
  • Slacker!!!

    JK....to that I respond, us 'Team Greeners' are not impatient.  And we have the 'Joie de vivre' to enjoy a wonderful surprise when it's supposed to happen......there are generalizations on both sides.



    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
  • I 100% agree. i am a planner beyond planner in every aspect of my life. But other than clothes and specific nursery colors i can plan completely for this baby just like i plan for everything else. I have all the necessary baby gear, house prepped, etc.  When people make that comment to me (and i definely hear it often) it drives me nuts! i was team green for DS and i'm doing it again this pregnancy.

    thankfully some of my friends just say "i just wanted to know" or "i was too impatient" etc. i don't care if they find out, but saying that it's because they 'are a planner' drives me insane too!

    diagnosed with stage IV endo via lap surgery IVF #1 - 27 eggs! 14 fertilized (3 natural, 11 ICSI) 5dt of A embryo, froze 6 BFP on 9/28! Baby K born via surprise c-section after 15 hrs of labor and he is perfect!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    frozen transfer a success! boy #2 via VBAC Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I also find it funny that people find out to "plan". One of my good friends was told she was having a girl right up until her last ultrasound she just had (she's somewhere in the 30 week range) - and they were like - OOPS! Umm...It's a BOY! Sooo, with all that prior planning, she sure was happy she saved her receipts! She had to take everything pink right back to the store!

    To each their own, for sure. I am Team Green. As others have said, I like that whatever I will buy will be good for future babies, boy or girl.

     

  • I can understand your frustration - but when people say that, I don't think they mean that you AREN'T planning, I think they just mean that they didn't want to wait to find out whether their baby was a boy or girl because they wanted the luxury of buying the gender-specific items beforehand.

    I hope you feel better after getting this off your chest, but if I were you I wouldn't take it personally. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Elonah [3], Bentley [1]

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I see where you're coming from, but I think it's a perfectly ligitimate reason. Some people plan to have a gender specific nursery (I wouldn't even attempt that once LO is here) and some people plan to have all of the stuf that they may ever need for their baby in pink or blue.

    That being said, we found out, because we wanted to know. Plain and simple, the suspense was already killing me at 20 weeks. and FTR we are having a neutral nursery etc in case the next one is a girl.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • You are taking it way too personal.

    We found out with this one so we knew if we should plan on using DD's clothes or if we needed to buy boy clothes too. If it had been a boy, I would've given him all of DD's nursery decor (safari) and made her room more girly. Now that we know that it's a girl, we can plan for what we want to do in that room.

    People tend to like to do things before baby comes instead of having to scramble around after. It's nothing against you, it's just my personal preference to not have to run to Carter's 3 days post partum because there are only so many gender neutral items with ducks on them that one person can stand.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I actually recall giving that reason for finding out and certainly hope I haven't offended my friends who decided to hold out for the surprise. Our nursery will be pretty neutral and most everthing we buy will be too. I honestly felt like I could plan ahead for accessories and clothing and wrap my mind around what the future held a little better. I definitely don't think that those who wait to find out are less prepared, though.

  • image amberlynnr7:

    I can understand your frustration - but when people say that, I don't think they mean that you AREN'T planning, I think they just mean that they didn't want to wait to find out whether their baby was a boy or girl because they wanted the luxury of buying the gender-specific items beforehand.

    I hope you feel better after getting this off your chest, but if I were you I wouldn't take it personally. 

    This.

    I've used the excuse that I'm too much of a planner to wait. And it's true. I like to plan things out in my head and it's hard for me to think about our LO and picking out things for them without knowing if it was a boy or girl. But I don't think that team greeners are necessarily not planners- so it's not a jab at you when I say I'm too much a planner to wait. I know very well that you can be team green and fully prepared for your baby.

  • image SweetHurricane:

    You are taking it way too personal.

    We found out with this one so we knew if we should plan on using DD's clothes or if we needed to buy boy clothes too. If it had been a boy, I would've given him all of DD's nursery decor (safari) and made her room more girly. Now that we know that it's a girl, we can plan for what we want to do in that room.

    People tend to like to do things before baby comes instead of having to scramble around after. It's nothing against you, it's just my personal preference to not have to run to Carter's 3 days post partum because there are only so many gender neutral items with ducks on them that one person can stand.

     

    Yes 

  • Thanks for posting this, I never thought of it that way!  I'm debating whether to be team green or not and a lot of people have made the same planning comment to me too.  I'm a planner too, but things are just different if you don't know the gender.  
  • I agree with you.  
    Married in 2008 - DD born in 2010 - EDD 6.15.2012!
  • Ha ha. If it makes you feel any better, I think planner = control freak. I had to know for the first two of my kids because we were "planning" by knowing what gender specific things we could get. For baby #3, we're Team Green because have have both sets of things so I can finally let go. =)
    Photobucket Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Pregnancy%20ticker
  • You honestly find that offensive? Really? I say that all the time.  I am in no way implying others are not planning ahead.  I honestly don't know a single person that thinks that.  Are we really running out of things to vent about???
    image image image image image image image image
  • I have seen girls on here say that often (that they hate when people say it) and have never really understood what the big deal is.  I have never taken that statement to imply that others are not planners or to be offensive.  I guess it's just one of those things that bugs some people.
    image Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • OP, I get this from people ALL the time.I was even venting to my mom about it just this morning!!!

    Also, I don't think you're taking it too personally. People are condescending and rude about it to me frequently. It's infuriating!!  To me the biggest kink in the plan is the nursery (if you want it to be gender specific like I do), but let's face it...most babies don't use the nursery right away anyway. We're doing our nursery after they arrive.

    I don't know....I don't judge anyone's decision to find out so why in hell do they judge my decision not to. It makes no sense...

  • I am finding out because I am the most impatient person on the planet. If I could peak at how anything would be in the future, I totally would...I was a present shaker when I was little, too...
    *~~Danie~~*
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary
    image image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards