What should I do ladies? - RE: Tripps Tree.

LILBIT1221

I have not heard from Courtney's mom, as I am sure she has so much going on. But I hate that I am sitting here with everyone's money. So let me know what you guys would like me to do at this point.

I can just send it all to her, hold back enough for the tree & bench, & send the rest or just give it a little more time? Any other thoughts?

This will be a post & run for now as they got on to us for all our internet usage at work. I will check back in at lunch to see what everyone thinks.

TYIA ladies...happy manic monday.

BLUEIEDHIPPY

I would hold off till the end of the week, if you haven't heard from her mom by then I'd just keep enough for the bench & tree & send the rest along to her. She can then decide to do with how she see's fit.  

scoutkate

t watley:

I would probably just send the money to Courtney. 

This. 

I'm with you, LB, I'd be uncomfortable sitting on that money any longer. 

chach916

Wwhat was the end amount?

MrsMommyQ

t watley:

I would probably just send the money to Courtney. 

Do you mean send all of it, or hold some back like LB said in her post?

MrsMommyQ

t watley:

I mean send all of it.

I agree. At this point, I think we should just send all of it.

 

Kitiara5512

If you don't mind, I have no problem allowing another week or two for a response. I am sure they are very busy just trying to figure their lives out without Tripp and I would imagine it may take some time to return to responding to things like that.

MarSamWhitney

MrsMommyQ:

t watley:

I mean send all of it.

I agree. At this point, I think we should just send all of it.

 

TBLilyRose

I still like the idea of the tree or some other gift that memorializes Tripp. But if it's easier to send all the money to Courtney, that's fine, too.

susan1017

I wasn't really involved so this is the perspective of an 'outsider'. I would give it a few more days and if nothing is heard back then send all of the money with a nice note on what you hoped it would purchase.

:-)

RobinSparkles214

I vote to send all of the money to her : )

insertclevername

I agree with most of the PPs.  At this point just sending the entire amount to Courtney seems like the best option.

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kehgirl

Hm, I would say maybe we should send the entire amount.  My train of thought is that if the family does not have the energy or time to address your question now during their time of mourning, perhaps they wouldn't have the energy or time to deal with scheduling the landscaper either?  I'm also ok with hanging on to the money for a while to give the family some time.  If you don't want to hang on to the money any longer, maybe you could write a card and tell Courtney what our intentions were along with details/contact info for the landscaper?  Then she could have the memorial done when she gets around to it.

doxgirl

My vote is to send the money.

melody921

kehgirl:

Hm, I would say maybe we should send the entire amount.  My train of thought is that if the family does not have the energy or time to address your question now during their time of mourning, perhaps they wouldn't have the energy or time to deal with scheduling the landscaper either?  I'm also ok with hanging on to the money for a while to give the family some time.  If you don't want to hang on to the money any longer, maybe you could write a card and tell Courtney what our intentions were along with details/contact info for the landscaper?  Then she could have the memorial done when she gets around to it.

This is a good idea. This way, she has the money, knows what we intended it for and we don't have to wait too long. I'm sure they're all just very overwhelmed right now.

melody921

kehgirl:

Hm, I would say maybe we should send the entire amount.  My train of thought is that if the family does not have the energy or time to address your question now during their time of mourning, perhaps they wouldn't have the energy or time to deal with scheduling the landscaper either?  I'm also ok with hanging on to the money for a while to give the family some time.  If you don't want to hang on to the money any longer, maybe you could write a card and tell Courtney what our intentions were along with details/contact info for the landscaper?  Then she could have the memorial done when she gets around to it.

This is a good idea. This way, she has the money, knows what we intended it for and we don't have to wait too long. I'm sure they're all just very overwhelmed right now.

gisa886

I also think the money should be sent along to Courtney now. 

cndmexbaby

Her child passed away recently and strangers are emailing about planting a tree in the front yard. I wouldn't respond either to be honest. I do think everyone's intentions were very good but just email the money. 

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Tbd143

I'd wait til the end of the week at least. I would think from what we know, they liked the idea, but it may be too soon to "act" on it for them.  But I do like the idea of sending along the info etc too....I said it once, I'll say it again. I completely trust whatever you decide. 

LILBIT1221

I know that the tree is nothing they are concerned with right now, I just havent been able to post during the day because of work & I just wanted to keep everyone in the know with any decisions that are made with all this money.  I will wait until the end of the week and then send it to her. Thanks ladies.

chrisncassie

Firstly I would contact the landscaper, make sure he didn't bring in a tree just for "us" for Tripp.  If he didn't, I would wait until Wednesday, then just send the money on with a card to Courtney.

I wouldn't mention our plans for the money, that way she doesn't feel obligated to use it "our" way. 

 

MrsDe2008

My vote is for sending all the cash to Courtney. I do love the tree and plaque idea, but it might be harder to get that to go through, so at this point I would just send her the money with maybe a note that tells her what our intentions were. If she likes the idea, then she can always go through with it on her own. Ultimately, I'd leave it up to her.

sprky79

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

Mofongo

cndmexbaby:

Her child passed away recently and strangers are emailing about planting a tree in the front yard. I wouldn't respond either to be honest. I do think everyone's intentions were very good but just email the money. 

omg, this! Please just send the money, with no note regarding the tree or bench. The last thing she needs is pressure regarding what to do with donated money. I know intentions were in the right place but I'm sure she's having difficulty just surviving moment to moment right now.

LILBIT1221

sprky79:

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

because when people donated the money, they gave it for the purpose of getting a memorial tree. I am not doing anything with money that other people gave, without first talking to those who gave it.

LucyHoneychrrch

heckysue:

chrisncassie:

Firstly I would contact the landscaper, make sure he didn't bring in a tree just for "us" for Tripp.  If he didn't, I would wait until Wednesday, then just send the money on with a card to Courtney.

I wouldn't mention our plans for the money, that way she doesn't feel obligated to use it "our" way. 

 

I disagree with not telling her.  I would word it in a totally "use this however you need to" way so she doesn't feel obligated, but the sentiment was really nice and I think she'd appreciate that people cared enough to think it through and get in touch with a landscaper etc.  Just make sure she doesn't feel like we're dropping a responsiblity in her lap.  We just want her to know that we cared and wanted her to have a peaceful place to remember and memorialize her little boy.

If you tell her your "intentions" for the money, she'll inevitably feel obligated.  Without question.

 

sprky79

LILBIT1221:

sprky79:

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

because when people donated the money, they gave it for the purpose of getting a memorial tree. I am not doing anything with money that other people gave, without first talking to those who gave it.

Yeah, but it is sort of a BS thing to do when she specifically mentioned groups she would like people to support, and the bump while "trying to be nice" a) does not do that and b) creates another thing for her to deal with. 

Send her the money, or donate to the groups she asked people to support. Really?  Those are the only acceptable things to do here.

Mofongo

sprky79:

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

b/c this would be way too easy and would make entirely too much sense

frklsbride

sprky79:

LILBIT1221:

sprky79:

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

because when people donated the money, they gave it for the purpose of getting a memorial tree. I am not doing anything with money that other people gave, without first talking to those who gave it.

Yeah, but it is sort of a BS thing to do when she specifically mentioned groups she would like people to support, and the bump while "trying to be nice" a) does not do that and b) creates another thing for her to deal with. 

Send her the money, or donate to the groups she asked people to support. Really?  Those are the only acceptable things to do here.

i agree 100%

you guys have to get over this "then she won't know what we wanted to do for her!!!' crap 

LucyHoneychrrch

I'm pretty sure getting money from internet strangers shows how much they care.  I don't think it's necessary to drive the point home again.  It seems awfully self-serving.

 

LILBIT1221

sprky79:

Howsabout you just send it to the organizations she has asked you to support with a note "from the ladies on the Bump."  I appreciate what you are trying to do, but how about you just do what she wants?

because when people donated the money, they gave it for the purpose of getting a memorial tree. I am not doing anything with money that other people gave, without first talking to those who gave it.

victoria1977

Mofongo:

cndmexbaby:

Her child passed away recently and strangers are emailing about planting a tree in the front yard. I wouldn't respond either to be honest. I do think everyone's intentions were very good but just email the money. 

omg, this! Please just send the money, with no note regarding the tree or bench. The last thing she needs is pressure regarding what to do with donated money. I know intentions were in the right place but I'm sure she's having difficulty just surviving moment to moment right now.

I agree with all of this. Please just send her the money. I contributed to the tree fund, but after all hell broke loose, I really wish I had just sent the money to her myself. As wonderful as your orginal intent was, a tree obvioulsy isn't a priority for anyone in her family right now.

LucyHoneychrrch

heckysue:

LucyHoneychrrch:

I'm pretty sure getting money from internet strangers shows how much they care.  I don't think it's necessary to drive the point home again.  It seems awfully self-serving.

 

yeah.  bunch of self-serving biitches right here. 

I'm sorry, but it seems self-serving to be this concerned about driving home just exactly how much you care.

 

TBLilyRose

Wasn't Courtney already told about the tree? I think a note mentioning the tree was the original intent but it was decided to just send her the money to do as she saw fit would be fine. 

racegrrl714

 It may be best at this point to just send her the money so she can use it as she sees fit. But I am fine with whatever you ladies decide.

LILBIT1221

LucyHoneychrrch:

I'm pretty sure getting money from internet strangers shows how much they care.  I don't think it's necessary to drive the point home again.  It seems awfully self-serving.

 

my point here was not for HER to know what the money was meant for, but to do the right thing with the money that was given to me FOR a specific reason. Now, if you would politely take your unwanted opinions elsewhere, it would be appreciated.

frklsbride

LILBIT1221:

LucyHoneychrrch:

I'm pretty sure getting money from internet strangers shows how much they care.  I don't think it's necessary to drive the point home again.  It seems awfully self-serving.

 

my point here was not for HER to know what the money was meant for, but to do the right thing with the money that was given to me FOR a specific reason. Now, if you would politely take your unwanted opinions elsewhere, it would be appreciated.

i think everybody understands that you have been entrusted with a bunch of money that people sent to you for a specific purpose and it's not your place to change the plans for the money without consulting the rest of your board.  i think we're saying that it's time for everybody (not you, as the banker) to come to terms with the fact that the tree is not gonna happen.  this has nothing to do with you as the keeper of the money. 

punkandprettygirl

I would send the entire amount with no mention of the tree.

She may not be even reading emails or cards yet, she may have hundreds to go through which is so emotionally draining! 

Courtney may have a memorial idea already, and wouldn't it be great if she had the money to pay for it because of your gift?

Heather R

::flees post::