Stay at home vs. career

salt78

angelsnight:

MH doesn't want me to stay home because, in his words, he doesn't want to have to deny our kids we got to do as kids because we don't have enough money.  I personally think this is ridiculous.....I don't think not seeing my children during most of the day is a reasonable sacrifice just so we can afford to put them in little league or something.  Buying food and clothes for them yes, paying for anything their little heart desires, no.

::lurking:;

I don't think there is anything "ridiculous" about it. There is a TON of value in extracurricular activities. We plan on signing our DD up for a number of things to see if they catch her interest. Playing sports, learning an instrument, etc can help a kid be more well-rounded and personally I think if I had some more focus that I would have gotten in less trouble as a teenager.

Letting your child play a sport and paying for anything their heart desires are two VERY different things as far as I'm concerned. 

::lurks out:: 

SchruteBucks

This is something we talked about as soon as we saw we were getting serious.  From a very young age I knew that when I had children I wanted to be a SAHM.  So we planned our lives accordingly.  We didn't buy a house that could only be paid for with two incomes, our cars are paid for and will be driven until they are falling apart. We both just replaced our cars...mine was 12 years old and his was 14.  We each bought a 5 year old vehicle and paid cash.  We live frugally.  We still have fun and my kids are involved in extra curricular activities.  They have everything they need and many things they want.

briide2be2008

I actually always thought growing up that if I became a mom, I'd want to be a SAHM... and I feel fortunate that DH and I could survive comfortably on one salary if I decided to stay at home.  However, at 32, I've (finally) reached a point at my career that I worked so hard to get to, it would be hard to walk away from... and difficult to get back into if I took a couple years completely off.  I'm also the one that gets health insurance from my job, which is another financial consideration. Luckily, DH really leaves the decision to me and we know we'll make due either way.  

Right now, I can't imagine not working at all... although I reserve the right for everything to completely change if I have a baby because I'm sure it is also very difficult to leave them in childcare or with a nanny... and work wouldn't seem nearly as fulfilling with a baby waiting at home for me.  I also work insanely right now. Crazy, long hours, travel, etc... So I'd really need to have a long discussion with my employer once I (hopefully) get pregnant to see if we could work something out where I worked less or in a different capacity.     

OneHotMama89

Honestly, before discussing it with DH the idea of being a SAHM had never really occurred to me (same with BFing). It's just not the way my family did things and since I got married so young (I was 18) I hadn't really had a lot of time to think of what I would want to do the same/differently from my family.

However, after discussing it with DH, we both agreed I would be a SAHM (and BF). It's very important to him that I stay home with our kids and after thinking about it it's very important to me too. We agreed to not have kids until we could afford to live off of just his income. That said, once we are done having children and they are in school, I will obviously go back to work.

I worked in daycare for a few years, and trust me, it's terrible compared to raising your own kids. Plus, it's ridiculously expensive. A lot of moms end up going back to work and then realize they're just going back to work to be able to afford the daycare fees, when they could just be staying home with their kids.

salt78

OneHotMama89:

I worked in daycare for a few years, and trust me, it's terrible compared to raising your own kids.

Comments like this really piss me off. Some of us have to work and that's just the way it is. Good thing I have heard enough positive things about daycare that your ignorant opinion means nothing.