Visitation - what do you think?

kmlkjh

Ex left town for a job and won't be making it back for his Saturdays. His parents are going to continue following his schedule and get LO on those Saturdays (My suggestion and I don't mind this at all).

The issue though: My mom is wanting me to give ex whatever visitation he wants whenever he happens to be in town. Ex has not asked or indicated that he wants this and I am completely opposed to this. She seems to think that if I refuse offering visits whenever he happens to be in town the judge may not be so nice to us and shift things in favor of ex on the next court order. I am opposed to this because the one (and only) time I offered ex an extra day for a holiday (which he is not given in the current co) he then proceeded to try to change EVERY scheduled visit for the next 2 months because it conflicted with something he wanted to do. That happened right after the court order set up and I haven't backed down since then. 

What do you ladies think? If ex asks for an extra visit whenever he happens to be in town, let him have it? Or just say no? I'm leaning to just say no but I'm already frustrated with him for making demands but not bothering to make regular child support payments so maybe I am not looking at this from all sides...

PrettyInPearls23

I would say both yes and no to this. If your X asks for more time, he's given you plenty of notice and you don't have other plans, I don't see a problem with it. On the other hand, he's already given you grief about changing time in the past so that part of me would tell him no, and he can see LO during his scheduled parenting time.

Co-parenting is about stability and keep things as normal as possible for LO. If your X just pops in whenever he wants, it'll be difficult for your child as they get older and this becomes a regular scenario.

ChunkyMunkey

I would offer him visits a while in advance so that you have a time and date set. I wouldn't just offer him a visit whenever because giving him that would probably lead to him trying to take advantage of it. He'd probably try to take her whenever HE wanted regardless of schedule.

Try to come to an agreement where it's not a total inconvenience to you and he can still see his child. 

kmlkjh

Thanks Ladies. For now, I will go with the plan that if he asks nicely and gives me advanced warning, then he can have some extra visitation. If he's rude and demanding about it or only gives me his usual 24-48 hour notice, I will just out right refuse.

Should I email and tell him that he can have the extra time if he gives me enough warning time? Or just let him bring it up whenever he gets around to it?