I feel so unattractive :(

Dawn7233

Normally I wouldn't say anything about how I feel about the way I look... but after trying to do the deed last night (per order of my midwife) I now feel like a fat unattractive beached whale.  My FI, for lack of better words, lost "it" last night... I still want to cry about it, made me feel like absolute $h!t

DEBBIE33CASEY

Him losing 'it' has nothing to do with you.  So don't take responsibility for it!

Remember that Bachman Turner Overdrive song where he sings, "Any lovin' is good lovin'"? How many movies, songs, tv shows have had the guys make comments about even if the sex wasn't amazing but that it's really never bad (when it's with their SO).  At least he got SOME, even if he didn't close the deal.  Most women don't have an orgasm with sex so why do we make a big deal about a guy not having an orgasm once??

What I'm trying to say is to relax.  If you need to cry about it then cry and get it out of your system so you can feel better and move past it.  OR try to make up for it by doing it again tonight and REALLY jump into it. 

Unfortunately I can only speak for myself but even with how big I got my last pregnancy, I felt much less attractive the 6 months after baby was born.  My tummy was still flabby and I didn't have the "I'm growing a baby" excuse for the lack of tightness.  And my breasts were either withered or stretched unattractively tight, needing to be expressed.  And then my breasts hurt during sex even though I didn't leak. 

Since the self esteem problem isn't going to fix itself in the next 6 months on the outside, see if there's things you can do on the inside to make yourself improve.  Use some positive self talk.  Don't feel like a fat, unattractive, beached whale.  Feel like the wonderful blessing you and your baby are! You are doing an amazing thing right now and I'm sure your SO would be willing to go at it again if you looked like you were into it   Who knows, with how tight and swollen things are down there you could have the best sex of your life!

anhg80

Aw, that sucks.

If it makes you feel any better, the last time we tried to DTD, my husband didn't have an orgasm either.  He said that he could feel that I was different down there (he said it felt more cramped).  And, despite knowing that there is nothing wrong with having sex during pregnancy, it was hard for him to put the pregnancy out of his mind.  He kept thinking "am I hitting my daughter in the head?"  Which is obviously not a sexy thought.  So he gave up.  

I can totally relate to this type of thinking (I can't look at my belly during sex, or I just start to think about the baby).  Perhaps that's what your fiance was experiencing as well. 

Rsoc23

I am sitting on a donut right now. And I bought depends today