NBR: Am I Overreacting? (Moving vent)

tulipblossom

This is gonna be a post and run cause I gotta get out of my house and go get a coffee or something after I post this cause I am just so upset right now.

We are moving in with my In-laws and I still don't know how I feel about that but whatever I will get over that (I hope) We will have our own apartment area so we will still have our own space thankfully. 

Here is my real vent. They (In-laws) can not seem to understand why we are keeping pretty much anything we own. "Why are you bringing kitchen stuff with you we have kitchen stuff" Well cause we wont live with you forever. We will still have a kitchen in our apartment area and because a lot of it was wedding gifts or things my grandmother gave me and or it is stuff that we like that will be expensive to replace. We spend $$ on quality cook ware that we didn't even register for because we felt bad putting such expensive things on our registry. 

"Why are you bringing a bed (mattress and box spring I sold the really nice solid wood frame I know I will never find a comparable replacement for) 'We will buy you a bed' Well that bed was like $1,300 when I bought it only 3 years ago. I spend 6 weeks picking out the perfect bed that I planned on having for a very long time and you want me to drop it? Are you going to buy us a 800 -900 coil mattress with individually pocketed coils? No I don't think so.

You don't have to pack it or drive it across the country. You don't need to do anything so why does it matter to them what I bring as long as we can arrange it in the room?

 I really HATE moving. I hate the idea of leaving all of my friends and my places and the areas that I know and love to go someplace new. I love CA and have never thought about leaving but it is a must. Staying here is just not an option anymore so we have to move. Is it wrong that in this new place where I have almost no one I want to have some familiar things? We have already sold so so many things, things I like and wish I could keep but they are to much trouble to move. Please just let me have my things. 

MommaA117

I think it's crazy for them to assume you would get rid of your stuff. Like you said, you will not love with them forever. Then again is the issue the cost to transport your stuff??

gymnst1013

I totally get where you are coming from about wanting to keep your things, but unless there is more to the story or some history that you don't mention, it doesn't sound like they are being mean about it.  It sounds more like they are trying to be helpful than anything so you don't have as much to move.  Sorry you are upset though!

tulipblossom

Cost is kind of a factor but even just to get in our car and only bring a car full of stuff would still cost a nice chunk of money when you think about going from the West Coast to the East Coast. And we have the $$ to take it with us so why sell something just to turn around and buy them again in two weeks ya know?

And there is not really more to the story. In laws and I have spend very little time together ever just due to fact that we have lived so far away, its kinda like we are more acquaintances than family. 

pammeelala

It sounds to me that they are just being overeager to help you guys out.  Did they not get to see you guys or LO very much before? 

I definitely don't blame you for wanting to keep your own stuff.  I wouldn't give mine up either.  Especially not my bed!  I have a sleep number with a 4 inch thick feather bed covered with another inch of down on top of it.  No way it would be left behind! 

Honestly, it sounds like you are maybe feeling a lot of stress and therefore emotional about this.  I would just smile and say you guys have it covered and with as much as they are helping you out, you would hate for them to have to spend more money to replace things you already have.

Good luck with the move!

tulipblossom

pammeelala:

It sounds to me that they are just being overeager to help you guys out.  Did they not get to see you guys or LO very much before? No one in DH's family has meet LO yet. I have only seen them on 4 occasion including our wedding that FIL didn't make it to due to health related issues.

I definitely don't blame you for wanting to keep your own stuff.  I wouldn't give mine up either.  Especially not my bed!  I have a sleep number with a 4 inch thick feather bed covered with another inch of down on top of it.  No way it would be left behind! 

Honestly, it sounds like you are maybe feeling a lot of stress and therefore emotional about this.  I would just smile and say you guys have it covered and with as much as they are helping you out, you would hate for them to have to spend more money to replace things you already have.

Good luck with the move!

Ya I am just going along with it, nothing else I can do. Atleast it will all be over soon. 

ladybear06

I agree with PP that they seem over eager to help out.  I think their intentions are in the right place.  I know that in stressful times, it doesn't matter how kind or generous someone is trying to be it will piss me off. Just give yourself a break, sounds like you could use one.

bunnymama625

Let me guess-- they are in NJ? My ILs are in NJ-- it sounds EXACTLY like them.

I'm starting to think its a NJ cultural thing- "let me buy you something crazy expensive that you don't need!"

no offense to the NJ mamas!! My ILs are just... sigh.

tulipblossom

bunnymama625:

Let me guess-- they are in NJ? My ILs are in NJ-- it sounds EXACTLY like them.

I'm starting to think its a NJ cultural thing- "let me buy you something crazy expensive that you don't need!"

no offense to the NJ mamas!! My ILs are just... sigh.

LOL, No they are in NY just outside of NYC