Austin Babies

Okay, circ question #2

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Re: Okay, circ question #2

  • imagemcgee:

    It's your son's penis. If he wants it done, he can have it done when he's old enough to make the decision for himself.  We agreed that if our son wanted it done, we'd pay for it, but we didn't have a right to make a cosmetic decision like that for him.

     I honestly think it's really disingenuous to say 'he can have it done later.'  I think anti-circ parents should admit that they ARE making a decision for their son to not have it done just like pro-circ people ARE making that decision to 'alter' their son's natural anatomy (or however you want to call it).  And FTR, I probably wouldn't do it if I had a son.

  • Respectfully, I disagree. It's much more of an ordeal to have done as an adult (probably because an adult male is not going to accept a sugar pacifier and a local when someone is coming at his penis with a knife) but it can absolutely be done. I can't imagine why you think it can't. 
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  • One of my DH's major issues at the time we faced this decision is that it's NAMC's policy to restrain the baby to a table for the procedure (for safety reasons) and they refused a parent be present. 
  • imagecarlinlp:
    One of my DH's major issues at the time we faced this decision is that it's NAMC's policy to restrain the baby to a table for the procedure (for safety reasons) and they refused a parent be present. 

    This is was one of the reasons why I didn't want to have Ben circumcised in a hospital.

    For Ben's bris, it is tradition for the baby to lay on a pillow and the grandfather to hold his hands gently. The doctor/mohel who performed the procedure also used a lidocaine block to numb the area. I breastfed him right before and then Ben slept through the whole thing.  Also, the mohel method of circumcision is very conservative. A very small bit is removed to satisfy the religious requirement.  This was a very good thing because we found out later that Ben has some urological complications (unrelated to the circumcision) that would have made it more difficult to correct had the mohel been to heavy handed.  Even if we hadn't done the bris, Ben would have been circumcised anyway.


  • imagekiarox2002:
    Respectfully, I disagree. It's much more of an ordeal to have done as an adult (probably because an adult male is not going to accept a sugar pacifier and a local when someone is coming at his penis with a knife) but it can absolutely be done. I can't imagine why you think it can't. 

    Espana isn't saying that an adult male can't have a circ done. He can. Many do, for a variety of reasons. 

    What she's saying is that circumcision critics who think they're allowing their son the choice to have the circ done at a later date are still imposing their will on their child.  It's entirely possible that the son in question may grow up and resent his parents for NOT circumcising him as a baby and thus putting the burden on him to make that decision. Maybe that son doesn't want to make that decision. Maybe he wishes his parents had just done it when he was a baby.

    The point is, there is no right or wrong decision on this issue. There is no moral imperative to circumcise or not circumcise. You do what you think is right at the time and you don't have to answer to anyone for your decisions. Not even your child, because this is what you tell him, "Your father and I made the decision to do what we thought was best for you at the time."  In fact, I'm pretty sure as parents we're going to say that A LOT on a variety of issues.

    Anyway, this debate is fruitless. No one should feel compelled to explain their parenting decisions and no one should make another feel bad about those decisions. To each his or her own. I don't agree with a lot of parenting decisions that I read about on this message board and others, but that's MY problem, not the other person's. Smile

    ETA: Holy soap box, Batman! My apologies for unleashing the Preacher so early in the morning.

  • imageMrsAJL:

    What she's saying is that circumcision critics who think they're allowing their son the choice to have the circ done at a later date are still imposing their will on their child.  It's entirely possible that the son in question may grow up and resent his parents for NOT circumcising him as a baby and thus putting the burden on him to make that decision. Maybe that son doesn't want to make that decision. Maybe he wishes his parents had just done it when he was a baby.

    I agree with this.  My oldest is circ'd and wishes he wasn't.  He was also tongue tied at birth and I chose not to clip it.  He then made the choice to have the surgery done at 8 years old and said over and over again he wished we had done it as a baby instead.  You just never know how your kids will feel about the choices you make as a parent.  Well, unless you live with an almost 15 year old who knows everything.  In that case, any decision you make is wrong wrong wrong.  

  • imageMrsAJL:

    imagekiarox2002:
    Respectfully, I disagree. It's much more of an ordeal to have done as an adult (probably because an adult male is not going to accept a sugar pacifier and a local when someone is coming at his penis with a knife) but it can absolutely be done. I can't imagine why you think it can't. 

    Espana isn't saying that an adult male can't have a circ done. He can. Many do, for a variety of reasons. 

    What she's saying is that circumcision critics who think they're allowing their son the choice to have the circ done at a later date are still imposing their will on their child. 

     

    Thank you, AJL.  That's exactly what I'm saying.  And for Kiraox, the adult circumcision recovery is 4-6 weeks so I really don't how many adolescent boys or adult men would make a decision to undergo that voluntarily, even if they wish they had been as a baby.  The decision a parent makes to not circumcise is kind of (in effect at least) as long-term a decision as it is to circumcise just b/c it's not like getting your ears pierced as a young girl instead of as a baby.  It's kind of a big deal to do it later.  And FTR, your comment about "coming at his penis with a knife" is kind of inflammatory and disrespectful to pro-circ parents. 

  • I was in the same situation exactly with DS#1. We researched online, talked to friends who had done both options with their kids, talked to my parents, my OB and eventually decided to do what we did. It wasn't an easy decision for us. I urge you to make the decision though and don't have it weighing on your mind until the last minute. Good luck!
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