Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas?

fancynewbeesly

So we have a few years to go until it becomes an issue, but with the families that celebrate both--how do you make it work gift wise?

 

I am Jewish, and as a kid got 8 gifts for Hanukkah. My husband is Catholic and apparently from stories that were told to me--they really went all out with gifts (they really only got stuff at Christmas time) But celebrating both--with the amount of presents seems excessive to me.

So the ones that celebrate both--how do you manage the presents?  

sdaisies

My husband and his fam celebrate Christmas and I am Jewish. We have two kids that are 4 and 2 who we are raising Jewish. More for the 4 year old, we have taught him that he shares in Christmas with Daddy etc, but he celebrates Hanukkah.  He is involved in our synagogue and his pre-k(a catholic program, go figure) really encourages us to share as much as our holidays with them.

The hard part this time of year is to make my kids feel like they are not missing out. We make a huge deal of the major Jewish holidays and this one being so minor is tough. Every grocery store trip someone is asking him what is on his santa list or, his cousins on the Catholic side are going to see Santa.  This is the first year he started to tell people he celebrates Hanukkah on his own. We love this time of year, the spirit of the holiday and spending it with our families on both sides, but it does have tough moments. That being said, we also know we are in the minority and are not offended by people who wish you a Merry Christmas or the schools who heaven forbid put a tree on a bulletin board. Its a balancing act for sure, but can be special to have the kids be a part of both in different ways. HTH!

sdaisies

I realize I never answered your question! For gifts, we do the 8 nights and then let them open their gifts from the fam who celebrates x-mas. When Hanukkah falls over xmas, we will play by ear if they get too much and seem to forget about it. In the past, I have put away a gift or two since it was so much to pull out on a rainy day!

fancynewbeesly

Thanks! Our children will be primarily Jewish--however, we will be celebrating both holidays in our house to some extent. The tree is done in blue and white lights--and we have candy canes on it. My husband (thankfully!) is against any outside lights--or things like that. So the only thing Chrismasy is the tree and stockings. 

I guess this year because it falls so close--it is more on my mind than it would be if it was a few weeks away. My MIL and BILs go the Hanukkah celebration at my parents house (my parents ALWAYS made a big deal of Hanukkah growing up) and my parents go to his family for Christmas Eve.

It is just that I can't fathom a little kid getting an upwards of 15+ presents just from the parents. It just seems like so much! 

penguingrrl

I'm not in a mixed faith household, but would love to chime in with a thought. I know many Catholics or other Christians who choose to do exactly 3 gifts because 3 wise men brought gifts to Jesus, which is what started the gift giving tradition at Christmas. So maybe, in order to avoid giving 15 gifts, that could be a tradition and it incorporates the Christmas story.

Also, I can easily see 15 gifts if you kind of save up on things they need. My younger daughter is in need of new sneakers because hers are worn out, so today she saw a pair she loved (purple and glittery!) and I managed to say no then hide that I actually bought them and she'll get them on Christmas. I would buy them anyway, but it's a package since it's fun to have more to open. They'll also get pjs that they need but they'll be excited because they're princess nightgowns. If you save up on things they've been "needing" anyway you may be surprised at how easy it is to get 15 packages.

cbidt*sgirl

My kids are Jewish both sides so we only do Chanukah, but my neices and nephews on both sides of the family are interfaith. They celebrate chanukah with small gifts and then get Xmas presents from their christian relatives and grandparents. Since we are the Jewish aunt/uncle we only celebrate Chanukah with them and the other side does the reverse. All of my neices and nephews (spread btwn 3 sets of parents) have a Xmas tree and Chanukah decorations. They also celebrate all Jewish holidays and I'm unsure if they do non-major Christian holidays.

Discordia1030

I was raised celebrating both and we always did small gifts, sometimes useful, sometimes fun for Hanukkah and had a few larger gifts for Christmas.

Now that we're older, my family gets together only 1 or 2 nights for Hanukkah and we do small fun gifts. For example, this year we got legos. 

shouldbworkin

cbidt*sgirl:

My kids are Jewish both sides so we only do Chanukah, but my neices and nephews on both sides of the family are interfaith. They celebrate chanukah with small gifts and then get Xmas presents from their christian relatives and grandparents. Since we are the Jewish aunt/uncle we only celebrate Chanukah with them and the other side does the reverse. All of my neices and nephews (spread btwn 3 sets of parents) have a Xmas tree and Chanukah decorations. They also celebrate all Jewish holidays and I'm unsure if they do non-major Christian holidays.

This is how it works in our family too.  FWIW, while we do give 8 gifts, they are pretty small.  Chanukah, while fun, isn't really a major Jewish holiday.  Big gifts are for bdays.  And, some nights I skip when we have Chanukah parties and I know they're getting gifts from other family members or they get something small from us.

lsufan

I cannot speak to the interfaith aspect of the holidays, but my son's birthday is Dec. 21st, so we often have an excessive amount of gifts this time of year.  I will sometimes put things away before they're out of the box, so that we can pull them out later in the winter when they're getting bored.  I think in your case, I'd just give fewer Christmas gifts, as that certainly won't diminish the meaning of the holiday.  If grandparents and other family go overboard with gifts, that's when I'd start hiding stuff for later.

jlw2505

My family and friends that celebrate both put a dollar amount on gifts and then try and spread them out equally between the two holidays.  They also take into consideration what other family they will be seeing on each holiday and what gifts they will get from others.  For example, if they know they will be the family that celebrates Christmas on Christmas Day and that the kids will get gifts but they won't see family during Hanukkah then they give most of their gifts on Hanukkah since the kids will still have gifts to open on Christmas day.  I think it also depends if you do small gifts or one or 2 larger gifts.  I know my cousin tends to do 1 bigger gift on Christmas Day and I bigger gift during Hanukkah and then she does a bunch of smaller stuff - think stocking stuffers and the like to spread things out.  I know growing up, my mom always made sure we had 8 gifts for Hanukkah so we had 1 thing to open a night but some nights it was small stuff like a pair of socks or hair clips and then we always got 1 or 2 big gifts.  I think if you set a dollar amount and stick to it and then spread them out that way, you can make it work.

prism207

Sam gets one big Chanukah present and 7 small things.  One this year was a candyland chapstick, for example.  Then at Christmas he gets one santa big gift and one big gift from us.  Plus stocking stuffers and a few smaller things.  From his parents, it probably totals 10 real gifts and 10-15 stocking stuffer type things.  And he gets gifts from his aunts and uncles grandparents, as well as some friends.  

We clear out all the old, outgrown toys around this time of year in one big sweep.  We either hand them down to family or friends or pack them up (for his sister now that she is here).  

It really isn't that bad,  because we give him a good deal of clothes and books, and other than his birthday in May, he doesn't really get new toys any other time of the year.

fancynewbeesly

Thanks for the reassurances! I get so worried about so much "stuff"--and she isn't even a year yet! 

We did smaller Hanukkah items leading up to a big gift as well. A lot of time it was a toy (like My Little Pony) each night leading up to the big playlet.