Suffering the loss of a parent while pg...

mrsboulay04

Has anyone suffered the loss of a parent while they were pg with their twins? My dad died last Sunday and today was the funeral. He had Early Onset Alzheimer's and Dementia...he was only 57. He was a retired Veteran of the US Navy, and I was relatively okay until Taps got played, and then I totally lost my composure. Just wondered if all of this crying is going to mess up my girls, or am I overreacting?

iluvadam

I have not lost a parent myself but I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your pain right now.  I cannot imagine what you must have gone through with the early onset Alzheimer's and now the loss of your father...You poor thing.  I am not a professional but I think your grieving is completely normal and losing your composure would be a healthy reaction.  I think the stress of holding your emotions and feelings inside, all bottled-up, would be more harmful than letting them out.  Again, I am so sorry for you.  (((hugs)))

chrissc34

With a heavy heart, Im so sorry for your loss.   The loss of a parent is something we get through, never over.  I lost my mom in 2010.  When I found out I was pregnant, It was bittersweet.  Still is at times.   I lost dad in 2006 and my mom in 2010, I feel like I lost two precious angels, and now Im gaining two more.  The circle of life.   

I cry a lot.  I hope you know grieving is a very personal and individual process.  There is no right or wrong way, just your way.   I don't think its messing up your girls and I think its healthy to let it out.   Bottle it in and your cup may runneth over.  I wanted to personally thank your dad for his service.  Again, Im so very sorry you have to go through this, if you ever want to talk or email me feel free.  You are not alone.  Today, I thank God everyday that I had my mom and dad as long as I did.  They were truly the best parents a girl could have, and if I can be  a quarter of the mother my mom was to my siblings and I...I will succeed.

Please take care of yourself, and remember you have an angel standing by.

Kind Regards

Christine 

lvflowers

So sorry, I have not gone through a loss of a parent but just recently lost a very close aunt in a car accident. Plus her sister to cancer, plus their brother in law to an heart attach AND my grandpa all in the last 3 months. It hurts. Cry when you need to cry. Don't hold it in. Maybe talk to your Dr. And see if there's anything you can take? To help with this sudden loss? So sorry!

huntertwin

I?m so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

queenbone

Okay, I'm lurking, but, my dad died unexpectedly when I was 38w 2d with DS1.  He was also 57.  I was really worried that the trauma would send me into labor and prayed that God would just keep the baby in long enough for me to make it through the funeral.  In the end, I was a week overdue and had to be induced.  So for me the grief did not negatively impact the pregnancy.

But, it sucks.  Not very eloquent, but it is what it is.  To some degree I think that the baby postponed my grief, or rather I was in the shock/denial stage for a very long time because I was so wrapped up in newborn care.  Even now the memories of the birth of my son are bittersweet because all those emotions of grief and loss anre mixed up with something that was supposed to be the happiest time of my life.

I am sorry for your loss and sorry that you will not be able to share your children with your father.  It is a heartbreaking reality.  Big Hugs.

tarajayne

I started to write a reply but realized having never been even close to this situation I can't really offer much, but I did want to say that I am sorry for your loss, T&P with you.

LottaLattes

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father.  There is nothing quite as horrible in the same way.  My father passed away unexpectedly about a year and a half ago and it was literally the  hardest thing I have ever been through.  He was 64.

You aren't going to hurt your babies by crying.  But for your own sake, once you get past the intense grief stage, find ways to find quiet solace otherwise.  You will still have surges of it for months and probably years to come and finding a way to mourn him during tough times will be important as you head into sleepless nights and lots of other stress.

It will never get "better" or be okay, but you will someday be able to remember the father you loved as much as the one that you miss. It just plain sucks.  Hang in there and do see a grief counselor if you need someone to talk to.  What you feel is normal, but I found everyone else kind of moves on after a few weeks and it'll be much longer for you.

*hugs*