Overnight Visitation

intdesigner925

 I plan to breastfeed when my daughter is born and my mom/family will be helping me at nights with her when home from the hospital since ex refuses to but he said he would take her a few days to a week so that I can rest and because he doesnt want to waste gas driving back and forth (he lives 20 minutes away), ummmm isnt that too soon? I told him its no way in hell im seperating from my newborn for a week and he said ok he knew I wouldnt want to, but I know eventually he is going to want to keep her overnights.

So for single moms who breastfed/ or plan to breastfeed heck even those who Formula feed/fed how soon did you start letting the ex have overnight visitation? And how many days do you think is appropriate? I just cant see a whole week especially as a newborn.

 

ETyorkin

Pretty sure 18 months is the minimum age for overnights, pending your situation (everyone is different) 

 

Also, a week at a time? I don't think any visitation lasts that long. Usually for babies it's maybe an hour or two. Again, pending your situation.

FyreFlyeRush

I'm requesting age five before overnight visits. I want him to be able to call me if something happens. Plus, his father is a little...vehement about his rights and doesn't seem to think little things like the law apply.

FyreFlyeRush

And, a week at a time? I'm not even letting him have the baby unsupervised as a newborn. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get an infant to switch back and forth between bottle and boob?

achase123

While you're EBF I think overnights are a non-issue.  Usually they come up around 18 months.  However, you need to check with your lawyer on this one. 

katie_cj

That's way too young. Most people on the board seem to start overnight visitation at 18 months.

 We actually started at 12 months, but we didn't split up until then and Jake was weaned. 

DaringMiss

FyreFlyeRush:

I'm requesting age five before overnight visits. I want him to be able to call me if something happens. Plus, his father is a little...vehement about his rights and doesn't seem to think little things like the law apply.

I think that you may be unrealistic here.  Overnight visits usually start between 18 and 24 months.   Barring unfitness, there is no reason to keep a child from spending the night with their other parent. 

mommabear7182

We're doing overnight visitation right now at 5 months, but remember, that's not the case for everyone. If you truly trust him, I don't see why not.

About the EBF, I also am EBF, and I pump 24/7 to keep up my supply. Refrigerate all the pumped bottles and then give him a good amount for the time she/he's staying over.

intdesigner925

mommabear7182:

We're doing overnight visitation right now at 5 months, but remember, that's not the case for everyone. If you truly trust him, I don't see why not.

About the EBF, I also am EBF, and I pump 24/7 to keep up my supply. Refrigerate all the pumped bottles and then give him a good amount for the time she/he's staying over.

I trust him with her im just worried about her being that young but 5 months isnt bad and to be honest I dont see how he would keep her that long anyhow because of his work schedule  and he only actually gets two days off a week unless it vacation so realistically I dont see it happening. But we shall see.

How soon did you introduce her to a bottle?

intdesigner925

FyreFlyeRush:

And, a week at a time? I'm not even letting him have the baby unsupervised as a newborn. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get an infant to switch back and forth between bottle and boob?

 

Oh he isnt getting her when she is that small, he can hang it up! Now he can come visit and even take her for a few hours but overnight ummm no.

Thats also my worry about going from bottle to boob and vice versa. I wanted to EBF at least for the recommended 4 or 5 weeks then introduce a bottle if needed which another reason im opposed to overnight visits so soon.

Jennis22

Despite having SO many people on my a$$ about letting X take DS overnight I've already told him that it will be up for discussion at 12 months. That doesn't mean it's a definite but it will be a possibility. It really depends on DS and how well he has adapted to sleeping without me by that point.

BTW: Not wanting to "waste" gas for a 20 minute drive is ridiculous. That amounts to about a gallon of gas for a roundtrip of that length. it's not going to break the bank. 

intdesigner925

Jennis22:

Despite having SO many people on my a$$ about letting X take DS overnight I've already told him that it will be up for discussion at 12 months. That doesn't mean it's a definite but it will be a possibility. It really depends on DS and how well he has adapted to sleeping without me by that point.

BTW: Not wanting to "waste" gas for a 20 minute drive is ridiculous. That amounts to about a gallon of gas for a roundtrip of that length. it's not going to break the bank. 

 I agree he complains because he has to use premium but personally I dont care. Its no way he would be keeping her a full week and I dont care how many times he has to travel back and forth.