unsupportive sister rant (long)

erineileen317

So I've posted about my sister in the past, even though I've been fairly MIA the last couple weeks.  But it seems like I cannot open my mouth lately without her either responding that a) I'm being a baby, b) I won't be able to handle that or c) I'm stupid for doing such.  Before I go into it all let me just say she's a 23-year-old college grad and I've been SUPER supportive when a) she came out to my parents last year, b) moved 2 hours away to get an apartment with her gf, even though she had no job prospects, c) on her job hunt for something pertaining to her degree, because she's been working at Best Buy and hates it, d) when it was HER idea for us to buy a tablet for our parents for xmas and still hasn't paid me her half of it (we gave it to them in October because we knew we wouldn't all be together for the holidays this year) and when she brings it up, because I never do, I tell her just get it to me whenever or in small installments if that's better.

So here's my gripes:

-I told her I signed up for Infant CPR (not a certified course, just the basics) and she asked me why I would assume my child would need CPR and that I'm wishing bad things upon my child. (sorry if you're aware, I already posted this one a month or two ago)

-I mentioned what I learned about breastfeeding and she asked me what I had against bottles (aka formula) and informed me that breastfeeding is "gross" and she can't imagine why I'd want to do that.

-I told her about a horrible leg cramp that woke me up screaming and thrashing last week and she informed me that I was an overdramatic baby and I've never felt "real pain" before because I've never broken a bone.  Definitely, not going to tell her about my labor.

-She felt the need to tell me about a friend of hers that just had a baby and blogs about how she never got a single stretch mark, walked a mile plus 30 minutes on her elliptical every day of her pregnancy, never "polluted her body or baby with fast food", wore her pre-pregnancy jeans buttoned AND zipped up until the day she went into labor and bragged about only gaining 14 lbs.  When I asked her if she was overweight to start with (which she wasn't) and tried to tell her that most doctors recommend those at healthy weight to gain at least 25 lbs.  My sister then INFORMS me that she had a 7 lb baby so 14 lbs is plenty and those who gain more than that just eat too much garbage because they think they have a free pass to eat for two and that I'm just jealous.   My question is, what was the point of telling me all of this other than making me feel like crap?

-She called me the other day and I didn't answer and when I called her back she asked where I was, when I told her I was taking a nap, she told me it was 3pm and that was ridiculous.  Even though I don't have to go to work doesn't mean I'm sleeping well enough to not be tired in the middle of the day, I'M FRIGGIN PREGNANT!

-And the latest, I mentioned I ordered a few cloth diapers to try out, as I will be a SAHM and this will be my only child to take care of, so it might be worth saving a few bucks if I like them for the extra effort.  Her response?  "Yeah, you'll change yoru mind about that."  I don't think she's ever even seen a cloth diaper.  When I asked her why she thought that, she said because she doesn't see me scraping poop out of a diaper.  Oh yeah, because the year I volunteered at a dog shelter and the two years I worked at a kennel make me unqualified to deal with poop, besides the two dogs I already own.  I've put on golashes (sp?) and rubber gloves to my elbows to hose down dog poop off the walls at both places, I think I can handle a blown out diaper.

This rant isn't to debate my, or anyone's, parenting decisions, because I definitely feel to-each-their-own and you have to do what is right for your situation and family, but how hard is it for MY SISTER to smile and go along with what I'm saying, I don't feel like I'm doing anything harmful. 

I know she's happy/excited about the baby, she's (and her gf, separately) gotten me very nice gifts for my shower and baby-related items for Christmas, all of which were greatly appreciated and I thanked her for.  However, it's just extremely frustrated to have everything that comes out of my mouth stomped on and deemed invalid.  Ughh... just makes me sad because I don't even want to share anything with her anymore.  I don't want to be those sisters whom never talk, I'm not about cutting out family, and I don't even think she gets it.  Both my mom and my other sister have told me not to even say anything to her about being unsupportive (though they agree with me), because they know her and know she'll just roll her eyes at me.

Sorry if this is long and scattered... thanks for listening.  Bleh.

rachel.wenger

Have you ever stopped her after one of her comments and just said, "You know I love you dearly, but sometimes the things you say can be a little hurtful.  I really need you to lend me your ear and be supportive during this time."

I guess I've never had a sister...just a silly brother that would probably not want me to me about such fun things.  

As for such stories about her friend not gaining weight and whatever, everyone's pregnancy is different...and your sister has never been pregnant, so she doesn't know or have any sort of actual feelings on it...she is just going by what she hears from others.  I wouldn't take it to heart.

Mostly, she just sounds like a college student...still immature to the world, still wrapped up in their own life.  We all know people like this, so don't worry too much about it.  In a few years, she might be a completely different person regarding the same topic.

AugustSkye

I'm assuming your sister has never been pregnant.

Just wait til she gets knocked up and reality bites her in the @ss.

eklanger

I think its funny that your sister is super impressed with her friend not eating anything "bad" while pg, but can't possibly fathom feeding an infant breastmilk over formula... among other things.  I would roll my eyes and stop telling her stuff, but then again I don't have a sister.

kmchavez82

You're alot nicer than I would be. After all that bs I'd of told her shut it unless she had something nice to say.

pcrock92

Oh boy.. I only have a brother but if it was my sister or any family member saying stuff like that to me, with absolutely no first hand experience, I'd be pissed and I'd tell her off. If she still continued to act the same, I'd stop telling her things and if she asked I'd say everything is fine even if it was a lie. And I agree, I definitely wouldn't tell her how labor is because it sounds like she'd rip you to shreds if you complained! Who knows what she'd compare it to..