- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Who's not doing CIO?
All of these CIO posts have me wondering. . . Am I the only one? My DD does not sleep through the night (up every 2 hours). She nurses and immediately goes back to sleep. We part-time bedshare, and although I'm sometimes a little tired, it doesn't seem so bad to me. I believe in responding to her needs and I can't imagine ever putting her down and walking away to let her cry by herself. . . She will only be little for a short time and I know I'm going to miss the snuggles when she's bigger. I just don't see how it is so bad to have a baby that needs help to go to sleep. . . I don't expect her to teach herself to do anything else (change her diaper, feed herself, dress herself. . .) That's the nature of infancy - being dependent on someone else to meet your needs. It's so sad to me to imagine my baby crying for me and me not doing everything I can to help her.
*If you do CIO, please don't try to convince me otherwise - if it works for you and your family, it's your right to do so. I'm not trying to start a debate as I know people have very strong opinions on this topic. I'd just like to hear from other Mamas who feel the same way as I do. . .
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who's not doing CIO?
IMO those moms that are 100% anti-CIO have never had a child that refuses to sleep.
Trust me when you've been awake for 48 hours straight because your child won't sleep unless he's constantly held, rocked, shushed, patted, and nursed- CIO doesn't seem so bad.
Yup.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
My daughter does not sleep through the night and is up about 2-5 times a night. We bed share so it's easy to just nurse her right back to sleep.
I am one of those moms who is 100% against CIO and trust me my daughter screamed bloody murder for the first 4 months. She would not sleep during the day or night unless we danced for 3 hours and had the music turned way up. Her reflux was bad until she was switched to Prevacid. One day she just started taking naps and sleeping more then 10 mins. She is still very sensitive to sound and startles very easy and will wake up. She may wake up often still but I will take it over the screams from before.
This is DS but we do not use CIO or any sleep training. He needs to be held while I stand and sway/squat to fall asleep, and usually cries while this is going on without even being put down. He's been this way since day one. We don't CIO because 1. I just don't like the idea and 2. He is the type of baby that if he cries and is not soothed by me or DH will cry until he becomes "frozen baby" (he cries so hard he becomes statue-like and might pass out). Since he is like this, I never let him cry. It's just not worth it. It scares me every time it happens even though I know he's okay.
This!
Every 3 hours would have qualified as a good night in this house. It was frequently much more often than that.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
No CIO here. DS is usually up twice a night, always at least once, which is fine for me for now. Right now I'm leaning toward trying Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning method when he turns a year, unless he drops the feeds himself. I usually get at least 4 hours sleep in a row, maybe 7 total and I'm rarely tired during the day, especially because DS is easy to put down at bedtime and usually just eats and goes straight back to sleep in under 15 minutes.
Which is to say I know we have it good and totally understand people who do it CIO as a last resort.
I will not be doing anything related to the CIO method either. DD was very colicky for about her first 3.5 months of life and DH and I spent many hours bouncing her around the house, rocking her, shushing her, etc to get her to fall asleep at night. It was a very trying time for us. She's come a long way as far as night-time sleeping goes and I'm really glad that we were able to find the patience to help her through that difficult time. Although it was difficult to have her crying loudly in my ear every night, I knew that at least I was comforting her to the best of my abilities.
I'm not sure what changed for her. I honestly think it was just a matter of time and something she had to outgrow because things just slowly got better with time. We're still not able to put her down in her crib to fall asleep on her own. I usually sit with her in the glider and she nurses while I sing to her and then she falls asleep. I actually find the whole process very relaxing and I enjoy the time with her. I don't mind that I have to take such an active roll helping her to fall asleep at night. I expect to spend the majority of my evenings over the next decade helping to put her down to sleep. The process may become shorter with time (a simple bed time story or what have you), but I don't mind doing it at all.
DD still wakes up twice (occasionally only once) during the night to to breastfeed and I'm working FT. I've gotten used to the broken sleep.
I agree with the phrase, "to each their own"....
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
No, we haven't done CIO. And guess what? We have a baby who refuses to sleep in his crib and is currently unable to put himself to sleep. So guess what? Next weekend CIO is in the game plan. Was it our ideal plan? Am I looking forward to it? No. But we have exhausted our other options. Am I sad because I am going to miss cuddling him to sleep? Hell yes, but this is what is best for him.
The getting up in the middle of the night isn't the issue for us. He still gets up at least once a night, and if he continues to do so, I'll continue to get up with him. But not sleeping in his crib is a problem, and if CIO solves that problem, then so be it.
We were anti CIO with our first and planned to be again until our 7.5 month old twins decided to each be up every 2 hours at night. I didn't think I would ever do it but it was putting way too much stress on my entire family, including my toddler. I've learned you do what you need to do. Some one once told me you treat your first child like glass and your second like rubber lol. I get what they meant by it now.
I'm also anti-CIO but I try not to judge. I know everyone has their own situations and opinions. However i'd just like to say that I DO have a child who doesn't sleep well. Anti-CIO moms don't all have perfect little angels! He's gone DAYS without significant naps/sleep (only falling asleep momentarily out of sheer exhaustion and wakes up screaming.) We seem to be over that now that he's a bit older, but he still doesn't go more than a couple hrs without waking. He usually naps once a day (twice if i'm lucky) and is up 3x between 8pm and 7am. That's where we are now and I'm ok with that. He's happy while he's awake and he's reaching all milestones, so if sleeping is his only "problem" then I'll take it.
And I cringe when I read posts about "extinction." The name alone just sounds cruel to me. I know it has worked for some and now their babies are happy, wonderful sleepers, bla bla bla... but I'll never turn off the baby monitor and let my baby scream until they vomit and basically pass out. As tired as I've been, I have never refused to rock him, feed him, rub his back or pick him up to soothe him back to sleep.
And again, like OP, this is just MY OPINION and I know some ppl strongly disagree. To each her own...
ITA. I love the "I don't want to start a debate but let me tell you why CIO sucks" attitude. Listen, I have to work full-time. I have to drive an hour to work each way. I need my sleep so I don't fall asleep at the wheel. And frankly, so does my baby (it's not just for my own selfish reasons, believe it or not). It's a disservice in my eyes to let your baby not learn how to sleep well. Is it better to have a baby that can't sleep well and wakes up frequently in the middle of the night for months or even years, or a baby who cries at night for a week and then sleeps straight through the night from then on? Which baby is happier in the long run?
Sorry you feel judged. . . maybe you shouldn't open and comment on a post that is clearly about not doing CIO. As I said, IMO CIO is not the right thing for my daughter. If you feel it's right for your LO and you choose to use that method, it is your right as a parent to do so. I may not agree with it, but it's really not my concern what you do with your child. I was merely wondering if there are other parents who feel the same way as I do. . .
As my DD is only 8 months old, it's hard to answer that quesiton, but I can tell you that my DD is a very happy little girl who is meeting all of her milestones. As far as my "attitude," the title of the post invites in those people who choose NOT to do CIO. If you do, it's your right to do so. I don't open every CIO post and give my opinion on why it's not the best choice. I bite my tongue and know that every parent is doing the best they are able to for their child.
Agreed. Why the paragraph long justification on your decision?
And maybe I'm off base here, but I don't see a lot of posts where CIO folks talk down on the decision to NOT CIO. But I sure see a lot of these.
It's an easy way to establish what a superior parent you are.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
I got no problem if you don't want to do CIO, but the bolded part is judgey as it seems to imply that those that do CIO don't respond to a baby's needs. Not sure how that isn't wanting to start a debate. I never planned on CIO but my LO was MISERABLE when trying to go to sleep until we did this and after 30 min of fussing on the first night he became an amazing sleeper. I think that by doing CIO I responded to my baby's need for sleep and now he is much happier for it. To each their own, just try not to judge please. That said, if not doing CIO works for you guys, that's great.
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
My child refuses to sleep. (I posted earlier about it, he's up multiple times a night, and not to eat) I am 100% anti-CIO.
Nope. My DS is a horrible sleeper, and I'm 100% anti-CIO. At 8 1/2 months there are still nights I don't sleep because I'm holding him so he can sleep.
We don't do it because DH is working and I'm on mat leave. I can't leave LO crying in the night because he needs his sleep. The quickest way to quiet him is to stick a boob in him
So I am taking him to bed in the spare room for now and we nurse and bedshare until the morning.
We may do some CIO if things stay 'bad' and DH gets laid off around Christmas. Last night LO STTN again (first time in almost 2 months) so it may not be needed again.
This!!! I know my little girl soo well that she would scream bloody murder if I just let her CIO. I am completely exhausted because of her frequent night wakings but I will do what I need to do to make sure she is happy. It's my job as her mother and primary caregiver. I personally feel that letting them CIO is a form of neglect and I will NOT use it. I give credit to those who have succeeded at it but it's just not for us.
I am pretty opposed to CIO. My daughter still wakes 3-6 times a night. The only thing that calms her is to nurse for 5-10 minutes. I work 4 days a week and I am exhausted, but I just cannot see leaving her to scream by herself. I hear so many stories about how babies cry until they throw up, and that is supposed to be OK. Hell no! I cannot imagine letting my child get THAT worked up. I am planning on reading the no-cry sleep solution and maybe that will help me get a little more rest. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and mine could change, but for right now CIO is NOT for us.
Same here
I guess we do CIO? Hadley goes to sleep in her Woombie awake but drowsy, but fusses for usually 2-5 minutes before falling asleep, and in no way shape or form do I feel guilty letting her fuss, it's what works.
The day I discovered "Fuss It Out" it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. For whatever reason sometimes DD just needs to fuss 1-3 minutes before dozing off. It was like she was saying, "Leave me alone Mom and let me go to sleep!!!" I did eventually do more of an actual CIO to deal with a binky addiction that was making her wake up throughtout the night, but it was really Fuss It Out that took me from the depths of desperation and despair when she was a few months old. I think prior to that I was terrified to let the poor kid make a peep without me running to the rescue.
For people who think CIO is cruel, I think continuing to make your child dependent on you is cruel. You talk about bouncing, rocking, shushing and patting for hours at a time several times a day like it's some sort of badge of honor. I think it serves you a purpose. You get to feel like a good momma martyr. I think it's cruel to not teach your child how to sleep properly so he can be well rested and happy. I also bet if you add up all of the time your child spends cranky and crying throughout the day and night because he only takes 10 minute naps and wakes up 3 times a night it is 100x more minutes than I spent doing CIO for a few days.
These are my feelings as well. I let Nora fuss it out because it was taking her 10x longer to fall asleep with me patting, shushing, rocking. If she gets to an all-out cry/sob, I'll go in and calm her until she reaches the "fussing" point and then leave her to fall asleep on her own.
However, her DCP deals with nap time these days (she naps great at day care but not at home.. go figure) and she pretty much STTN, so I've never reached the point of feeling the need to do a true CIO sleep training program.
I had written a post similar to yours a few weeks back, but more along the line of sleep training in general. Much like yourself, I just didn't feel CIO was the right thing for us. As much as I love my sleep like everyone else does, I figured that eventually my daughter will "get it". She's a baby, she's growing, and babies wake and need to eat at night. She is 6 months old today, and since I brought her home from the NICU, we've gone from 3-4 wakings/feedings a night, to just about none most nights now! I just followed her cues, kept things on a routine to help her figure out night time vs day time, etc, and it worked for us.
You also mention that its a treasured time for your and your LO to help her get to sleep- I totally agree!!! My best friend has 2 school aged girls, and she always rocked them to sleep. Sure, it kept her awake longer, but she said she wouldn't trade it for the world to have spent that time cuddling with them. Her girls are well adjusted kids, not spoiled at all, and I am sure that rocking them to sleep when they were babies didn't do any harm at all.
Because It is a lot harder and takes a whole lot longer to sleep train any other way.
Plus...those who say they aren't that tired, haven't have a good noght sleep in a long time. You don't know what you are missing to be able to crawl into bed and I know that you can sleep till 7 am with out intruptions.