I think it may be a problem..

authorofdreamz

I know "baby blues" are normal for the first two weeks and usually PPD isn't diagnosed until after that but I am really starting to think that maybe it is more than that. I have cried several times a day every day since she was born. Sometimes I am not even sure why I am crying. At first I attributed much of it to my unhappiness with BFing but I stopped BFing two days ago and now I find myself crying because I feel so guilty for quitting. I'm rarely happy and sometimes I find myself wishing that she was never born. I've never wanted to hurt her but I have wanted to just put her in her crib and run far away. I haven't been able to tell anyone how I feel because I'm afraid of what they will think, everyone knows how badly I've always wanted a baby. I feel like such a failure all the time even though everyone tells me what a good job I am doing and I think part of that is because I feel so guilty for having all these feelings. I feel like such a horrible mother and like maybe this is the reason I lost my first LO (late m/c). I'm jealous of my FI because he gets to go to work and school and get away from it all and because he is handling all this so much better, when I expected it to be the other way around. My whole life everyone has told me what a good mother I would make and I feel like I am letting everyone down, especially DD.

I'm sorry if this post is really rambley or if I broke any "rules" by not really introducing myself first I just needed to get this out and didn't know where else to do it.  Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

EVA116

I could have written this post word for word right after I had my daughter. I think you definetly have PPD and it is good that you have recognized it early. You should go see your doc ASAP and get started on some type of treatment. I promise it iwll get better if you get help. My DD is 9 months now and I love (most of the time) being her mom.

I use to want to run away all the time. I would think of how I could do it too. I was so jealous of DH because he got to go to work...it was like nothing changed for him. I mourned my old life so much which was weird because I wanted a baby so bad for so long.

Please go see your doc...the sooner you do...the sooner you will feel better. You can PM me if you want.

Lots of HUGS

EVA116

Also, reading Brook Shields book helped me. It was nice to read about how someone with everything could feel the EXACT same way I felt. It let me know that it is chemical and hormornal and it was nothing I did wrong.

rosesandpeonies

For me I cried multiple times a day up until about 3 weeks.  I have Post Partum Anxiety and not depression though.  My crying stopped and anxiety set in for me. If you are feeling this way and feel that it is more than you "should" be crying etc., call your dr. and tell them.  You aren't alone in feeling like this  Just know that!  There are no rules by the way