Anyone go against MFM advice

ABColeslaw

I had very serious complication with my last pregnancy.  My first pregnancy ended in a late term miscarriage and we lost our little girl. With my second preg,  I had GD, low progesterone.  Severe HG.  I fainted twice. Once I fell flat on my face and broke all my front teeth. I had IUGR.  And 5 weeks after I delivered I suffered liver failure, which was later diagnosed as Atypical HELLP syndrome. It left me with liver damage and three decent sized lesions on my liver.   I've seen four specialist and they've all told me that I could try for another, but it would be extremely risky.  I would not be allowed to be pregnant past 30-32 weeks and thats if all goes well.  My H and I have decided that we can't do that to a baby and not to take the risk.  But I am very sad and struggling knowing that we won't be having another child.  My MFM told me any pregnancy I had would be about as high risk as they come.  Anyone been told this and decided to go forth anyway?  I'm just really mourning the babies I wont be having. 

DavezWife

I wouldn't hesitate to get a 2nd opinion, but I remind myself that these docs, they're not out to ruin my life, make me miserable, or out to "get me." They know what they're talking about. Dealing with PTL, IUGR and early delivery, PLUS the liver issues... those are major medical things. Those isues are no joke. Any kid that goes up against all that has a MAJOR mountain climb on their hands.

It's hard to involve our emotions in things like this. (doctors tend not to) I had multiple pregnancy losses, and I had SEVERAL people tell me to cut it out. But it wasn't MY life in jeopardy, just my sanity. lol.

I can only imagine the hurt you're going through. Give yourself time to process it all, and see how you feel down the road. I'm a "now now now!" kind of gal, so I get the pain in that alone. I hate to wait.

And PLEASE do not mistake this for a "you can just adopt" lecture, but regarding your comment... "we won't be having another child".... If it's in your heart, let yourself be open to becoming parents in another way. Accepting that *I* might not be the one to carry our future children was a BIG MOMENT for me. Now I don't give a chit if I carry them, I just want to love them. ALL THAT MATTERS is that I mother others. And there's many way to that prize!  Along with adoption, there's finding a gestational carrier or surrogate, there's foster care, int'l adoption, domestic, etc. If your child is out there, s/he will find you ;-)  You just have to be open to HOW that comes about.  It took me a LONG time to get to the place where I'm ok with that. But I just wanted to encourage you to never give up. ;-)

 sorry for the babble, GL with your journey.

 

Kristina052707

I am high risk just due to a heart condition I have myself.  When I was pregnant with DD I had to have a pacemaker implanted due to passing and severe irregular heartbeat.  I was told that I shouldn't have any complications this time since I have a pacemaker in place and I am taking my medication, well I am now having the opposite issue this pregnancy and I am high risk again.  I also have to have a c section this time and I am expecting this baby at about 38 weeks.  Due to having issues again I am getting my tubes tied when I get my c section done.  It is upsetting as I have always wanted 3-4 kids, but it's more important for me to be healthy and to have healthy kids than to keep having them.

 My point being, is that I wasn't even as high risk as you by any means.  I was told I could have another and I am having issues again.  Nothing is guaranteed, and that's what scares me.  It's a hard decision that will take both you and your DH to get to the point where you're comfortable with your decision. 

Good luck to you with whatever you and your DH make!

 

wordslikeswords

We didn't technically go against MFM advice... we just got a "this is going to be a tough road" talk. I have a kidney problem that causes me to leak 6g of protein a day. We are unable to conceive on our own, so we had to do IVF, and I had to get MFM and nephrologist approval to go forward. For a long time they just said no because MFM didn't want me to, and thought my kidneys would get better. Eventually the neprologist told her that wasn't going to happen, and they reluctantly agreed (my guess is because it's our first). She kept telling me I was at a much higher risk of IUGR, pre-E, etc. They might deliver as early as 36 weeks... that sort of thing.

Well, we talked about it and wanted to go ahead, so we did. I'm certainly not at the end of the road at only 25 weeks, but so far, my pregnancy has been amazing. My baby is growing perfectly, and at each ultrasound the MFM gets REALLY excited. My bp is high, but always has been, and hasn't changed. We're watching it of course. And the strangest part is, I went from leaking 6g a day to 3! No one really knows why my kidneys have improved!

Like I said, we've got a ways to go before we're comfortable with this baby being born, and it's an incredibly tough decision knowing the possibilities that lie ahead. At the same time, doctors can't predict the future, and you have to make a decision that's right for you. It's possible you won't run into those problems again, but you have to be prepared for the idea that you may. It's such a hard thing to be faced with - I know we're going to be faced with it if we want another.

I'm wishing you tons of luck in deciding what to do!