Everything looked fine, and of course AF started during my exam.
She reviewed the placenta pathology with me. There was a clot (from the abruption) behind the placenta that was bigger than the placenta itself. But other than that, everything looked normal. The report said that the placenta was small for gestational age (36w4d/under 10th percentile) but my midwife said she didn't notice that at all. And, she commented that Carter's weight (5 pounds 12 ounces) was just fine for his age, so the placenta was doing its job either way.
We spent a lot of time talking. She is amazing. And we reviewed the file from DD's birth, and she agrees with me that there is a good chance I had an abruption with her too which is scary to me when I think about TTC again.
I don't have any answers as to why yet (hopefully MTHFR is the only issue) but at least I feel I have closure on how. It kills me that he was still alive when I had my first few contractions - not sure if I will ever get over the what-ifs. What if I had gone in then, and not tried to labor at home? Would they have caught the abruption?