New...overwhelmed...frustrated

MaryHu

Hi all!  My husband and I are just getting started in the process to adopt.  We have a biological 3 yr old daughter and are ready to grow our family through adoption. We "think" we'd like to adopt from Korea, Ethiopia, Latin America, or Poland (DH is from Poland).  We live in FL, but there's a chance we could be moving to SC within the next year.  We want to go ahead and start the process, but we know the possibility of a move may throw a wrench into things.  We won't know for about 6 months whether it's happening or not and we don't want to wait that long to start things.

I'm having a really hard time finding an agency.  Every site I see to go to either deals in the Carolinas or in FL, but not both.  Many agency sites I look at don't even say what states they work in. I've been researching for weeks and I feel like we're no closer to getting started.

Any tips?

Dr.Loretta

Honestly? I would wait until you move. Homestudies have expiration dates. And if you move, you'll at the very least have to update your homestudy, if not get a new one altogether.

If you absolutely know you'll be moving to SC, I'd research on that end and not FL, or look for a regional or national agency.

Just my 2c. Those who have done international adoptions can give more insight.

slaintexas

I sent you a PM.

Lebee2512

Holt International Children's Services - 1195 City View - PO Box 2880 - Eugene, OR 97402 
Phone: 1-888-355-4658 - Fax: 1-541-683-6175 - Web: https://www.holtinternational.org/ - Email: info@holtinternational.orgone: 1-888-355-4658 - Fax: 1-541-683-6175 - Web: https://www.holtinternational.org/ - Email: info@holtinternational.orgHolt International Children's Services - 1195 City View - PO Box 2880 - Eugene, OR 97402 
Phone: 1-888-355-4658 - Fax: 1-541-683-6175 - Web: https://www.holtinternational.org/ - Email: info@holtinternational.orgolt International Children's Services - 1195 City View - PO Box 2880 - Eugene, OR 97402 
Phone: 1-888-355-4658 - Fax: 1-541-683-6175 - Web: https://www.holtinternational.org/ - Email: info@holtinternational.orgHolt International Children's Services - 1195 City View - PO Box 2880 - Eugene, OR 97402 
Phone: 1-888-355-4658 - Fax: 1-541-683-6175 - Web: https://www.holtinternational.org/ - Email: info@holtinternational.org

jennykg1477

I am impatient, so I know how hard it would be to wait.  I would probably start calling some of the agencies that do not list what states they work in to find one that works in both states.  Once I found one, I would tell them the situation and ask what they suggest.  We are going through Bethany Christian Services, we are doing domestic infant adoption but I know they do international too, and they operate in several states.  If you haven't checked with them, that might be a place to start.  Maybe if you can find an agency that you like that operates in both states you will at least be able to find out their paperwork requirements and start working on that.  You might want to hold off on the homestudy until you know if you are moving or not, but at least you could do the initial paperwork and feel like you are getting somewhere.

MaryHu

Thanks for the feedback .  I never thought to google "national" adoption agencies.  I did that yesterday and Bethany was one I came up with as a possibility.

CaptainSerious

For people who wish to adopt internationally, I always recommend you find a country that you wish to adopt from first, and then chose an agency that has a strong program in that country.  There are some great agencies that have some really strong programs in countries they've been working in for some time...and some fledgling programs in countries that are new to them.  Even though these agencies are generally highly recommended, their newer programs may not work as well as those that are more renowned, because they haven't had the time and experience to figure out all the kinks, establish strong contacts, and become aware of all the pitfalls.

It's also a good idea to find an agency that has a strong program in more than one country you are interested in.  Adoption programs can be very volatile, as they are dependent on the laws of multiple countries/compacts, diplomatic relations, public perception, etc.  It's not unheard of for a country to drastically slow down their process or close entirely, and if your agency specializes in more than one country you are interested in, you should be able to transfer to another program with limited difficulty or cost (you should make sure of this when interviewing agencies).

So, if I were you, I'd use at least some of this time to research different country programs and figure out more specifically from where you'd like to adopt.& The US Department of State's website lists the requirements to adopt from each country (https://adoption.state.gov/).

I also recommend that you check out an introductory book on adoption, because it can help you get an idea of some of the issues that come along with adoption and explain the process a bit. Adoption for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption (which I used) are a great place to get started. They provide lots of basic information on adoption, including how to research an agency. Other good books are The Complete Adoption Book and You CAN Adopt.

Once you've made your country choice(s), and you did a little background reading on what to look for and how to research an agency, you're ready to do just that! I highly recommend researching any agency you are considering to make sure it abides by ethical standards. The yahoo group "Adoption Agency Research" is dedicated to giving honest feedback on agencies and a phenomenal resource for vetting them. You can ask about the agencies you are interested in directly, and also search their archives and files.

Good luck!

MaryHu

You guys are great...thanks for the advice!