I feel like a bad friend

crystalknpp

I was on the phone with one of my friends today, she had her daughter 3 months after my first loss, and she was telling me how her and her DH were talking about TTC #2.  He's in the military and has an out of state training for 12wks Jan-Mar.  She said if he doesnt have to go to the training they're gonna TTC right away but if he does go they will have to put it off until March.  Well they found out tonight that he has to go to the training so there TTC #2 is on hold a few more months. 

I feel awful saying this but I was a little relieved that it was being put off a little longer.  It would be a hard if she got KU quickly again with her 2nd before we even had our first.  I feel like a terrible person for thinking like this because she is one of my best friends but I just can't help it.

Carolee

I think like this a lot, especially recently.  I feel like a horrible person, but I think it's all part of the MF of infertility.

buckeyebaby814

Don't feel like a bad friend, IF and loss devastates us.  Especially since I realized this recent pregnancy was not normal, I've been very worried about how I am going to welcome/ react to my new niece and nephew in January.

crystalknpp

buckeyebaby814:

Don't feel like a bad friend, IF and loss devastates us.  Especially since I realized this recent pregnancy was not normal, I've been very worried about how I am going to welcome/ react to my new niece and nephew in January.

Hunni I'm so sorry to see you back here and that it was ectopic!  I've had two ectopics.  My first I had emergency surgery and my second was Methotrexate so if you have any questions or just need to vent please feel free to PM me or I can give you my email if you would like.  As far as January goes I'm sure your family will understand that its very bitter sweet for you! ((HUGS))

crystalknpp

Carolee:

I think like this a lot, especially recently.  I feel like a horrible person, but I think it's all part of the MF of infertility.

Thanks girl.  How did your first day of meds go?  I need an email update from you soon!

Carolee

crystalknpp:

Carolee:

I think like this a lot, especially recently.  I feel like a horrible person, but I think it's all part of the MF of infertility.

Thanks girl.  How did your first day of meds go?  I need an email update from you soon!

butterfly843

Sending hugs, you aren't a bad friend. This journey of loss and infertility is tough and while we are happy for our friends, it also hurts when everyone around us gets pg right away and we struggle.

cutebride73

You are not a terrible person AT ALL!!  I feel that way too - all the time.  DH's cousin's little girl is turning one in two weeks and today was my EDD from my 2nd loss - my baby girl would have turned 1.  When I saw his cousin's wife the other day I was terrified she was going to announce she was pregnant again.  I know it will happen sooner or later and I will be devastated. 

I think it's completely normal to feel this way. I'm just sorry that you have to (((hugs)))

lavril

Carolee:

I think like this a lot, especially recently.  I feel like a horrible person, but I think it's all part of the MF of infertility.

This exactly.  IF can be soooooo hard!

lavril

buckeyebaby814:

Don't feel like a bad friend, IF and loss devastates us.  Especially since I realized this recent pregnancy was not normal, I've been very worried about how I am going to welcome/ react to my new niece and nephew in January.

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.  Sending you lots of T&P and virtual (((HUGS))). 

buckeyebaby814

crystalknpp:

buckeyebaby814:

Don't feel like a bad friend, IF and loss devastates us.  Especially since I realized this recent pregnancy was not normal, I've been very worried about how I am going to welcome/ react to my new niece and nephew in January.

Hunni I'm so sorry to see you back here and that it was ectopic!  I've had two ectopics.  My first I had emergency surgery and my second was Methotrexate so if you have any questions or just need to vent please feel free to PM me or I can give you my email if you would like.  As far as January goes I'm sure your family will understand that its very bitter sweet for you! ((HUGS))

Thank you.  Closer to Wednesday, I may have questions.  I am actually more terrified of surgery than I am my actual loss. 

mork

Carolee:

I think like this a lot, especially recently.  I feel like a horrible person, but I think it's all part of the MF of infertility.

Definitely this. I feel so horrible about how I feel, which just makes me feel worse. What a MF!

MandaS08

I think feeling like that is normal, and doesn't make you a bad friend.  If you are supportive of her, either way-you are still being an awesome friend!