Now y'all have me really nervous about DS' bday!

CD+AL

So, I was just reading the post below about inviting DC's school friends to the birthday party, and I'm really nervous b/c you are all saying that almost none of DC's friends from school actually came to the party.  I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I realized this was a possibility, but when I was a kid, school friends were typically the ones at the parties vs. a bunch of other kids from random connections. 

DS really wants a party with his school friends this year, which he's only known since August, and he's going to be crushed if only 1 kid (or worse no one) shows up.  There are only 9 in his class including him, so the odds aren't great given your experiences.   

WTH do I do if that happens?  Even if I know in advance b/c of RSVPs, you can't prepare a 4yo for that, especially when it's your DCs' idea to have a party with his school friends.  Argh!  Freaking.Out!

jessica1080

I think if you really want them to come you need to follow up the written invite with a personal invite somehow (phone or at drop off/pick up).  Last year we had my DD's party at the Children's Museum and I openly invited siblings as well and only one child from her school came. She was her bff so my DD was estatic, but I was disappointed.  We spent all of that money and only 3 kids came. 

A lot of it is the time of year as well.  My DD's birthday is in December and even though it is early in the month it is a very busy time of year.  People have tons of things they get invited to. 

We went to one of her school friends party a couple of weeks ago and we were the only school friend that came.  I try to go now that I know how it feels.  What about having a school party during snack time so you can make sure they are there?

 

KathrynMD

LOL - we go to most of the kid party's we're invited too and of the 10ish kids we invite to DD's party in a few weeks, I expect at least 6-7 will show up. 

DD loves going to her friends parties and hanging out with them - and I get to socialize with other parents and DH either gets a chance to get some housework done or comes with us to the party and hangs. 

Most of the other kids in her class invite everyone and most show up.

pea-kay

I don't think that's always the case. We went to a party for a classmate of the boys' last weekend and of the 19 kids in their class, probably 10 were there. at least.

howleyshell

FWIW this hasn't been our experience at all.

Also from what I've seen as long as you talk up what IS happening they're happy as pie.  It's not like when they're 7 or 8 and fully understand that someone chose not to attend and take it personally, KWIM?

My kids would be elated if a single child showed up as long as there was balloons, cake and fun.

 

HarrietNJMommy

Didn't read the post below, but in my area, attendance depends on time and day. The BEST times to have a party around here are Saturday and Sunday afternoons (3pm or later start time). You are GUARANTEED that everyone will show up.

I have never had more than 2 "no" responses for any of the birthday parties I've had for the kids..........and I've run the gamut of times and dates......

GL! 

futrkingsley

I think it really depends on the kid and family.   A friend and I send our kids to the same Montessori school. Her daughter has been invited to at least 5 parties in the year that both have been enrolled and as far as I know doesn't attend because the daughter does not talk about classmates to her parents, so parent's don't "know" the kids. 

DS asked to invite one classmate from school by name to his own party and we talked to that child's parents in advance and he was THRILLED when she showed up.  He would have been sad if she didn't.  DS just got his first invite last week for a classmate's party Saturday and we are going.  I know they didn't invite everyone from school so I have to assume this classmate has mentioned DS by name and asked to invite him, so we'll make the effort and go.  It helps that DS mentioned her too prior to the invite.

As much as I hate having to run around a ton on weekends after working all week, I'm elated to start the party circuit for DS.  First, we want to get to know the parents of the kid's at his school, and second, they are all local, unlike my own friends and family (who live about an hour away). 

n&bcarlson

Don't just send an invitation, put a personal note in it like "DS is really looking forward to having Little Johnny at his birthday party.  We really hope you'll be able to make it!"  I think that would make parents feel like they and their child were really wanted and that it wasn't just an impersonal I-have-to-invite-everyone kind of a thing.  Also, if you have the time before the party (not sure when it is), invite as many kids as you can over for play dates and get to know the moms a little.  People are much more likely to go to a friend's party than a stranger's.

shopgirl78

DS1 has 15 in his class and we sent invites to all and NONE came- not one (Sunday in Sept @430 included pizza too).  I send them out 1.5 weeks earlier--maybe that was too much esp since a classmate sent theirs out 2-3 days before their party (and it was the day before DS1 AND AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!)  GAH!

I felt bad but we have a lot of other friends.  He was happy with my friends kids and the neighborhood kids but did mention that none of his school friends came. 

For DD's I sent them out the first day of school for her birthday party that weekend. We did girls and 3 came (out of 10 girls- one was out of town).    

We've gotten  3 invites so far and only made it to one party.  One was on a military base and we don't have access and the other he said he didn't want to go.  We try to go to all though.  

HarrietNJMommy

shopgirl78:

DS1 has 15 in his class and we sent invites to all and NONE came- not one (Sunday in Sept @430 included pizza too).  I send them out 1.5 weeks earlier--maybe that was too much esp since a classmate sent theirs out 2-3 days before their party (and it was the day before DS1 AND AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!)  GAH!

Around here, people send the invites out at least 1 month in advance. That might be why you have a lower turnout. 

shopgirl78

HarrietNJMommy:

shopgirl78:

DS1 has 15 in his class and we sent invites to all and NONE came- not one (Sunday in Sept @430 included pizza too).  I send them out 1.5 weeks earlier--maybe that was too much esp since a classmate sent theirs out 2-3 days before their party (and it was the day before DS1 AND AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!)  GAH!

Around here, people send the invites out at least 1 month in advance. That might be why you have a lower turnout. 

Really?  Around here its usually one week--if that!! DS1 party was the 18th of Sept and I sent the invites out the day after Labor Day and his classmates (twins) sent theirs on the 15th for their party (same place as DS) on 9/17 but most are one week.   

HarrietNJMommy

shopgirl78:

HarrietNJMommy:

shopgirl78:

DS1 has 15 in his class and we sent invites to all and NONE came- not one (Sunday in Sept @430 included pizza too).  I send them out 1.5 weeks earlier--maybe that was too much esp since a classmate sent theirs out 2-3 days before their party (and it was the day before DS1 AND AT THE SAME PLACE!!!!)  GAH!

Around here, people send the invites out at least 1 month in advance. That might be why you have a lower turnout. 

Really?  Around here its usually one week--if that!! DS1 party was the 18th of Sept and I sent the invites out the day after Labor Day and his classmates (twins) sent theirs on the 15th for their party (same place as DS) on 9/17 but most are one week.   

Yes. Most people have 2 and 3 kids (or more) and schedules need to be coordinated since it's never all your kids invited to the party and they're not drop off until you hit 5+...........so you need to give people time to get sitters/help for the other kids. 

Calliopi

I'm really surprised to hear how few school friends come.  My dd has 14 in her class and we went to a party for one of the kids last month and 9 of them came.  Is it because the parents don't know each other?  I feel the moms in her class are pretty friendly and we've been to a couple play dates with the other kids from her class already.