Anyone else needing budget support? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Anyone else needing budget support?

I am feeling kind of frustrated tonight.  I just looked over our budget for the month of October, and although we have done better than in September and August, we are still spending almost every dollar we make.

I really want to be able to reduce my hours at work once LO is born, but I don't know how much of my income we can afford to lose at this rate, and it's really getting me down.  I know we could be doing better at budgeting, and I would rather cut some spending than cut my time at home with my daughter, but I have absolutely no real life budget support.  Everyone I know either has extra disposable income or lives beyond their means so that they don't need/want to track/moderate their spending.

Is anyone else in the same boat?  Right now it would be amazing to find someone who understands.  I know I am not the only person in the world who has to plan and sometimes say no to myself, but it really feels that way sometimes.  


BFP#1 11-26-10 MMC 1-13-11
BFP#2 6-8-11 Eleanor Beatrice born 2-15-12
BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14

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Re: Anyone else needing budget support?

  • When my DH and I got married I had to stop working because I moved to where he was for his job and we only had one salary. I was used to a very comfortable life and had to learn to extreme budget. And then when we needed IF treatments it was again needed. Here are my tips:

    1. put your family first at all times that means DH, you and LO

    What I mean by this is before you think of spending a cent on anyone else remember who you need money for 1st. I give no presents to family or friends anymore unless they are getting married. My family needs the money more than other people do. When things got really tough I stopped giving charity. When you have no money to live on you have no money to give away.

    2. Stop going out to eat, that includes coffee it can add up fast. Once you start making things at home it becomes a habit. DH and I took pleasure in learning to make new dishes together at home.

    3. Drop the cable, home phone and internet unless it's a must and you can't get it anywhere else. And if you have a smartphone think of downgrading or getting rid of home internet.

    If you have an Ipad and an Iphone turn the data off on one.

    4. Go through your home and see if there is anything you don't need that you could sell.

    5. call the insurance company and try to get a better rate, that goes for cell phones and cable/internet.

    6. start cutting coupons

    7. stop shopping from the center of the grocery store a box of cookies can cost up to $6 a pack.

    8. Don't drive if you don't have to and save on gas. 

    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story


    Lilypie - (ugiy)

  • I totally get it too.  My DH has been unemployed for about a year and 4 months now.  He was let go from his job about 2 months after I finished grad school, so I'm really just starting my career.  We definitely don't live extravagant lifestyles.  I think the PPs have great advice about how to stick to a budget.  The biggest thing for me is borrowing items instead of buying them (e.g., I only bought 4 maternity items so far, the rest is borrowed from a coworker) and packing my lunches.  This saves us about $40 a week, which really adds up when you think about it.

     Good luck sticking to your budget.  I totally understand how difficult it is and how it can be really isolating.  PM if you need to talk. 

    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • Thanks for sharing!  I really wish TB had a board for budget families.  I would love to do a budget check-in, but I've always worried that no one else would be interested.

    Some of the things we are currently doing to save:

    1. Sharing family phone plans with our parents/siblings (cheaper to add a line than to have a separate account)

    2. Choosing HMO insurance over PPO: we save about $100 a month on our plan AND have no co-pay for anything but ER and no deductible.  The hassle of needing to get a referral is definitely worth it for us.

    3. Using Mint to track our spending.  We have been doing better since we started this.

    4. Free/cheap entertainment: library for books and movies, hiking.

    5. Grocery shopping primarily at Aldi and avoiding convenience foods. 


    Our biggest obstacles:

    1. Big student loan debt.

    2. Adding a mortgage and a car payment in the past 6 months and using a huge chunk of our savings for down payments.

    3. DH has expensive hobbies.


    Goals for next month:

    1. Plan meals better to avoid eating out due to laziness

    2. Keep up with our savings goal of $100 a month 


    BFP#1 11-26-10 MMC 1-13-11
    BFP#2 6-8-11 Eleanor Beatrice born 2-15-12
    BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You're definitely NOT alone.  I don't have any words of wisdom or anything.  DH and I have great intentions, but find it hard to follow though (unfortunately, I have to say I think stress makes it worse).  Hang in there.  (((hugs)))
    Nov. 19, 2010 BFP #1--m/c Dec. 24th, 2010 First cycle after m/c on Feb. 2, 2011--March 8th, 2011 BFP #2 EDD Nov. 19, 2011. Nadia Dorothy Grace born on 11-18-11 @ 3:04pm 6lbs 14oz Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm late to the party but I would like to say that you are not alone.  I feel like we are living paycheck to paycheck right now and lately we've had some unexpected expenses come up that have thrown a wrench into the whole thing.  I'm freaking out about how we are going to afford Christmas this year.

    I really like the tips on this thread.  I think my biggest thing is spending money on family.  I have a large family with 6 nieces and nephews and it seems like there is always some birthday or mother's/father's day that we have to buy for.  I don't go all out by any means (like $25) but it adds up.  It's really hard to say no to a 6 year old on their birthday though.  I just can't bring myself to do it.

    If you want to start a weekly check-in for this, I'm in!

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  • I totally understand where you're coming from.  I was hoping to be able to stay at home when LO is born, but I just don't see how that is going to happen.  Together DH and I make a decent living, but dropping my check from that equation makes all the difference in the world.  So my goal from here until June is to save as much as we possible can in preparation...and maybe we will be able to make it work!!

    I also use to track our spending/saving, it's been a wonderful way to keep track of thing automatically beacuse I know if it were up to me track things individually it would never happen!!

    I agree w/ PP about setting up an automatic amount to go into savings each check.  Warning though, I would make it so it is not easily accessible.  ie. no online access.  That way you actually have to go into a branch to make a withdrawal and that might make you think twice before taking it out.

    I would be up for a weekly check-in as well.  DH pretty much has checked out of the whole budgeting process and leaves all the finance stuff up to me, so it would be nice to have someone to share thoughts with!

    BFP #1 12/23/10--Natural M/C 12/31/10 @ 6w1d BFP #2 5/13/11--Natural M/C 5/26/11 @ 6w3d BFP #3 9/7/11--U/S #1 9/20 Gest. & Yolk Sac--U/S #2 9/27 A beautiful baby with it's heart fluttering away at 133BPM BabyFruit Ticker
  • You're not alone at all. I'm so stressed about money and LO coming, it's pretty overwhelming.

    I've started couponing and I'm seeing the rewards of it now which is great! I'm trying to not eat out at lunch as much and we're going to work harder at making good dinners so we stop eating out so much. That's about as far as we've got - DH and I are going to pow wow soon on what we can do to make things better.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
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