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Relationship Would You Question
Would you start a relationship, stay in a relationship or marry someone you are not physically attracted to?
Say the guy is best friends with a friend's husband. He is super nice and has a good personality. He treats you the way you should be treated and weren't in the past. He adores your child. He also happens to be rich including a house in the caribbean. If you made it to the marrying stage you would not have to work and would have a cleaning person to take care of the house.
Is personality more important than physical? Does the lack of the WOW factor out weigh everything else?
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Re: Relationship Would You Question
Honestly, if someone were that attractive to me personality wise I think they would also be attractive to me physically. The two go hand in hand for me. That said, for me personally sexual attraction is important. I would not start a relationship with someone who I had absolutely no physical attraction to.
I certainly wouldn't marry anyone because I wouldn't have to work and would have a cleaning lady. When I get married again it will be for love. True love. Forget all the rest and focus on that. Do you truly love him or at least see the possibility?
No I would not. Because that would mean settling. Everything about your post screams that you are trying to justify staying with someone that you probably like a whole lot, but don't really love. If you proceed, you'll end up divorced or completely miserable fantasizing about the pool boy.
What does "he treats you better than you should be treated and weren't in the past"? Sounds like you have an incredibly LOW self-esteem and shouldn't be in a relationship with ANYONE until you can learn to love yourself.
Lurker here.
I would consider it. Presuming I was not repulsed by him physically, I would consider entering a relationship.
Not every happy ending starts with fireworks.
And, I'm not into physical appearance as much as personality, fun, warmth, things like that. The money factor would be a bonus, but not a driving factor, that's for sure. Money definitely does not buy happiness.
Do you find him good-looking at all or are you repulsed by the thought of being physical with him?
If you're on the fence, I would consider trying a few dates. I thought my BF was good-looking when we reconnected (knew each other in HS), but I wasn't immediately attracted to him. After a few dates I knew there was definite chemistry there and now, 6 months later, I can't keep my hands off him
On the other hand, if you think doing that would hurt your friendship, then it might not be worth it.
I agree with this, especially the 'not every happy ending starts with fireworks' part.
If you had been dating this guy for a little while and still felt nothing, then I would say move on because physical/sexual attraction IS important. But if it is just someone you are considering giving a chance, I would do that even if you don't think there is a spark there up front. You never know what could happen once you get to know someone better.
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
The SN is suspicious.
I was married to a guy I was never attracted to and it effected our relationship in a negative way with him always blaming me for not wanting sex. His personality ended up changing for the worse over time and I ended up divorcing him due to his actions...
I am now in a relationship with a man that I am very attracted to on the inside and outside and it feels so great to have this attraction that I hadn't felt in so many years.
With my XH, I hated when he touched me, we had no chemistry in the sex department...I hated having sex with him...I hate that I settled with XH, but I learned a lot from being married to him.
Bump Burp
Bump Burp II
Nope, I KNOW what I did wrong! My son is also not 15 months old, and I never claimed verbal abuse.
Oh, and I also I replied to Lurky's post looking for me . . .
Start a relationship, yes. I would start to date (casually) someone that I wasn't attracted to. Sometimes the attraction will come. MY FI is someone I wasn't always attracted to. (we didn't see each other that way for a long time)
Marry someone that I absolutely wasn't attracted to, no.
Doesn't matter what else is there if there isn't an attraction. I don't need someone good looking or someone with a good body. There just needs to be something, and it's not always physical.
I have dated guys who I wasn't at first physically attracted to. I liked their personalities, and when I grew close to them and came to care about them, I looked at them and thought they were so handsome and wonderful. I think it's possible for people to grow on you.