Need advice how to get toddler to sleep on her own

msnehz

My 21 month old will not sleep on her own unless I lay with her. When she wakes up and realize Im not there she cries and wont go back down until I lay beside her again. Shes this way at night and for naps. We started to put her in her own room last week because both LOs (#2 is 3 months old) are starting to wake each other at night (we have both the crib n toddler bed in our room). Im at a loss what to do with my toddler. Right now hubby sleeps downstairs in our masters with the baby while I sleep upstairs with DD. Hubby had to take ove feeding the baby throughtout the night (not STTN yet). I have to sneak out in morning to feed the baby so my hubby can get ready for work. This morning my toddler woke up while I was abput to feed the baby. I had both of them screaming for me at 7am. Im at a loss.

memali26

Have you tried any sleep training? We used the Sleep Lady Shuffle (the book is called the Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight). I didn't want to let DD1 cry it out, so the Shuffle seemed perfect for us. You start out sitting next to the bed until they fall asleep, soothing physically and verbally but not picking them up. Every 3 nights you move a little farther away from the bed, eventually working up to putting them down and just leaving the room. There were still tears, but I felt better being there with her instead of letting her cry alone. And after the first 2 nights she didn't cry at all.

JoannaJes

msnehz:

My 21 month old will not sleep on her own unless I lay with her. When she wakes up and realize Im not there she cries and wont go back down until I lay beside her again. Shes this way at night and for naps. We started to put her in her own room last week because both LOs (#2 is 3 months old) are starting to wake each other at night (we have both the crib n toddler bed in our room). Im at a loss what to do with my toddler. Right now hubby sleeps downstairs in our masters with the baby while I sleep upstairs with DD. Hubby had to take ove feeding the baby throughtout the night (not STTN yet). I have to sneak out in morning to feed the baby so my hubby can get ready for work. This morning my toddler woke up while I was abput to feed the baby. I had both of them screaming for me at 7am. Im at a loss.

I am all for gentle sleep training methods. Heck, I have an almost-11 month old that still gets up multiple times a night. But I'm kind of questioning why you are so afraid to set some limits for a 21 month old toddler? I think at this age it really is okay for you to set some expectations around bedtime because it is for the benefit of the whole family. This whole you and your DH sleeping apart just to avoid a couple of tears, I don't quite get that. How long has she been in a toddler bed?

msnehz

JoannaJes:

msnehz:

My 21 month old will not sleep on her own unless I lay with her. When she wakes up and realize Im not there she cries and wont go back down until I lay beside her again. Shes this way at night and for naps. We started to put her in her own room last week because both LOs (#2 is 3 months old) are starting to wake each other at night (we have both the crib n toddler bed in our room). Im at a loss what to do with my toddler. Right now hubby sleeps downstairs in our masters with the baby while I sleep upstairs with DD. Hubby had to take ove feeding the baby throughtout the night (not STTN yet). I have to sneak out in morning to feed the baby so my hubby can get ready for work. This morning my toddler woke up while I was abput to feed the baby. I had both of them screaming for me at 7am. Im at a loss.

I am all for gentle sleep training methods. Heck, I have an almost-11 month old that still gets up multiple times a night. But I'm kind of questioning why you are so afraid to set some limits for a 21 month old toddler? I think at this age it really is okay for you to set some expectations around bedtime because it is for the benefit of the whole family. This whole you and your DH sleeping apart just to avoid a couple of tears, I don't quite get that. How long has she been in a toddler bed?

Shes been in a toddler bed in our room at 13 months old. Our master bedroom is downstairs where DH and the baby sleeps. We are thinkinh of maybe staying at one lof the guestrooms upstairs during the transition.

kristalovesjared

If you're desperate enough... CIO worked wonders for us! The first week is hard, but honestly so worth it! I did it when DD was 9 months old, so I'm sure it will be harder with an older child who can get out of bed, but it was the only method that actually worked for my DD because of her personality. It's really hard, but I have slept a million times better since we did it and she went from waking every 2-3 hours to STTN for 12-13 hours!