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Attachment Parenting
missjilly1025
member
I can't put this baby down for longer than 2 minutes!
missjilly1025
member
This can't be right - I literally can't put him down without him crying. I can't wear him all day long and just carry him. What do I do?
Also, he falls to sleep by being rocked but when I put him down to sleep he won't stay asleep unless it's at night in our bed. This can't be right. Any suggestions on how to help him learn to stay asleep on his own.
Am I perhaps expecting too much of him too soon?
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Re: I can't put this baby down for longer than 2 minutes!
That was my daughter. I just had lots of help and started and still bedshare. she won't sleep alone for very long. It didn't fix the "problem" but it worked. CIO was not an option, and still isn't for us.
Does your child hate the car seat too? My daughter freaked out in the car for a long time. We turned her seat around a little early and now things are much better.
She is still very clingy but has gotten better and will play on her own for a bit.
For the most part I get nothing done.
She also had silent reflux and things got a little better once she was started on medication.
Thanks for the reply's. If this is normal I feel better or at least feel that baby is doing okay. I have this self imposed expectation to be able to keep my house tidy and be a great mom all at the same time. I know silly right. I enjoy wearing my baby but there are times like showering and being able to use the facilities that he just cries during and I feel really awful the entire time.
I have only been wearing him about an hour each day - how long do you typically wear your LO? I am using a Moby wrap and love it - guess it's time to use it a little more often.
At that age, I literally wore ds for most of the day. I would lay him down for maybe 3 or 4 hours total between 7am and 7pm -- when I would shower, cook, or just needed a break. Shower time was stressful because I would try to rush one if I was able to get him to lay down near the start of a nap -- and it certainly wasn't a daily shower!
And I would absolutely wear ds while going to the bathroom. It's one of the unspoken of perks of babywearing
I know we've all probably heard this poem ad nauseum, but it always makes me feel better when I read it, and a little tear
Babies Don?t Keep
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She?s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I?ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping?s not done and there?s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there?s a hullabaloo
But I?m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren?t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I?ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I?m rocking my baby and babies don?t keep.
Those first couple of months are very hard. Please be easy on yourself. There is a time for keeping a perfect house and cooking lovely dinners, but this is not it. I ate a ton of trail mix because I could keep it next to the couch where he nursed, and we had frozen pizza for dinner more days than I would like to admit. Some babies are happy to sit in swings and bouncers and some are not. Your LO is good at communicating and letting you know when he's unhappy, so try to frame it as a little bit of a positive.
My little guy was very much the same way. I put the bouncy seat in the bathroom, and he would still cry every time I tried needed to go. Sometimes you do what you have to do, but you can absolutely wear your Moby while you pee, lol. At that age, I pretty much only put him down to go to the bathroom and change clothes. I usually took a shower when my DH was home. My LO would still cry with my DH, but I felt better about it since he wasn't alone and his dad was comforting him. I held him for all of his naps, and I held him from his bedtime at 7ish until I went to bed at 10:30. It wasn't fun, and I had zero me time, but it's what my little guy needed.
During awake time, things got much better once he could sit up. He became much more independent and willing to play. His sleep still stunk, but by that time, I had just resigned myself to holding him while he slept.
His sleeping turned around at about 13 months. I'm on the couch bumping while he happily naps in bed without me. Now he also sleeps without me from 8:30pm to about 11pm.
When I get frustrated, I remind myself that in 20 years, I'm never going to regret the time I spent snuggling and rocking my little boy. I'm never going to think that I should have spent less time nursing and more time reading the internet or sweeping the floor. The days are long, but the years are short.
Hang in there, mama!
This was DS to a T when he was an infant!
I found that putting him down propped up in a Boppy (he had some reflux issues) in the PnP would work for up to an hour. In our bed, he associated me in it with him so when i left he was probably confused and angry. But he quickly realized the PnP was his, and his alone. GL!
That's how my LO was for the first four months. I held her or wore her all day long. She napped on my chest or in the Moby. I couldn't lay her down to sleep or she'd wake right up. We started bedsharing and still are at a year.
I'm not going to lie--my house was a complete disater during the first few months, but you know what? I got over the notion that I needed the perfect house with the perfect meal on the table each night.
Some peolpe have easier babies, some have those that demand a little more attention: I think you have the latter
So yes, I think you're expecting too much too soon. Everything with my LO has been a very gradual transition and we let her set her own pace--including how she sleeps.
It's not the easiest way, but if you let your baby take the lead they will eventually learn to sleep on their own and will in time get easy. My LO still requires extra attention, but it's different and easier for me than the newborn stage.
My baby was super colicky in the evening, so I wore her the most then. Sometimes my inlaws or my parents would stop over and just hold her for me so I could get some sleep or potty by myself.
The first months are hard, but they get easier. Don't worry about being a super house keeper. Just enjoy baby while he is little.
The first three months are the hardest. It will get easier as you both adjust
I literally did not go more than ten minutes away from home in the car until DD was over ten months old. She would cry so long and so hard in the car that I could only bear so much. She did not ever want to be put down. EVER. I had to shower while trying to keep her out of the water, wait for DH to come home to take her, or listen to her agonizing cries as she sat unheld for the 6 minutes it took for me to get a proper wash. I could do almost nothing without holding her until she was about 6 months old
The fussy baby book by Dr. Sears helped a lot. I too thought I had an unnaturally clingy child, but as it turns out, it's not so uncommon. She still is pretty attached but life is much easier now.
The techniques in Happiest Baby on the Block might be worth a try. You're doing a great job! GL!
Yes, you can definitely get a lot done while wearing your LO.
However, if you want to take a shower or use the bathroom without holding them, that's ok too. You are not damaging your child by taking a small break. You are a person too, and if you want to take a minute in the bathroom alone, your baby will be just fine without you.