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March 2011 Moms
Sophia Jane Smallwood
While Sophia wasnt born in March, I feel as a March Momma that its my duty to share this story with as many people as I possibly can. Sophia Jane Smallwood is the daughter of a very dear friend of mine, she passed away due to severe heart complications along with many other issues. If nothing at all, I hope this makes all of you hug your little ones a little tighter tonight, and if you want to participate in the Pay It Forward Challenge, please contact me for details.
Sophia's 40 Day Challenge: Pay It ForwardOur little girl, Sophia Jane Smallwood was born into this world on Saturday October 9, 2010. We should have known from the moment she made her appearance she would start to take over the world moment by moment. What we didn?t know was each one of the moments would mark a memory, each moment made up her life. Sophia?s life was cut short as she went to heaven on Wednesday November 17th, 2010. Each one of her moments was lived in a hospital. Cincinnati Children?s Hospital is where we called home for our daughter?s entire life.
Through our grief and mourning we try to go on and live each day as a day she would be proud of. We remain her parents and we want to spread her love as far as it will go. She had a way of changing people for the better. Ever since Sophia existed, a baby bump in the making she was making a difference. When we found out at 20 weeks gestation that she had heart defects our lives started changing. We took a few extra moments to relax, to keep in touch, to stop and reflect on how this would affect her life growing up. We became educated and informed and met with doctor after doctor. When my water broke at 30 weeks gestation we knew who was calling the shots. A little girl, commonly referred to as Baby Smallz was testing me! She made an over-do-er, go get-er, controlling Mama stop and reevaluate. The amazing doctors and nurses at Miami Valley Hospital stopped the labor and hospital bed rest became our new life. We moved in with an expected stay at 10 weeks until my due date. For weeks we let go of control and welcomed the help (and boy did we receive a lot!). Baby Smallz got a name; Sophia was picked for a bit of princess wisdom to our life. Although we only live 5 minutes from MVH Tim spent all but 1 night on a pull out chair, just to be near us. 3 weeks and 2 days later Sophia wanted to make an entrance. We learned to accept that what Sophia wanted, Sophia got! (She learned that from her Mom)
For 40 days a lot of people changed. Tim and I became parents. Grandparents were made, Great Grandparents too. Our siblings became Aunts and Uncles. Our little lady became this shinning star of so many people?s lives. She won the hearts of complete strangers. Facebook blew up with pictures, updates, prayers and kind words. This little munchkin ruled the world!
If being born into this family wasn?t enough fun for her, she decided to throw a few curve balls at us. We were ?prepared? for the heart defects, expecting surgery to come in the next few weeks. What we weren?t prepared for was the TEF repair. Minutes after Sophia?s birth the doctors discovered that her esophagus wasn?t connected to her stomach resulting in Obstacle #1. She was transferred to Cincinnati Children?s and Dad followed her for his first sleepless night as a Dad. Day 2 brought her first surgery, TEF repair. Day 3 brought Mom, released from the hospital in Dayton. We met nurses and doctors, learned lingo we never thought we?d hear outside of Grey?s Anatomy (although I did find that I recognized quite a few terms!). The nurses discovered Tim talked in his sleep and Mom was addicted to Facebook among many other things. They also learned Sophia had an amazing support system. Her family and friends had an outpouring of love. The gifts started coming, care packages full of starburst and magazines, the home cooked meals that stocked the refrigerator and a large supply of Mt. Dew. A Mom who said my girl won?t be addicted to pink?became addicted to pink! Sophia got a new hat and changed into clean socks each day. A new picture or 30 were taken as she became more alert. Something about a 4 day old baby wearing her ?tanning goggles? under those bilirubin lights gets me every time. She had her Botox lips after her surgery that made you want to kiss her more and more. Her toes all wrinkled and her knee sensitive to kisses. Dad made sure her left foot always got a little tickle, and then typically her beeping would start as we realized she didn?t like it! She?d get the hiccups and it would make her so mad. She was weeks old with a spitfire personality, I don?t know where it came from.
Discoveries were made about Sophia as the days went on. I won?t lie, everything was a blur when they told us then and it?s still a blur now. Her TEF repair was still healing, we waited to hear about her heart surgery and we learned more challenging news. She had colobomas in her eyes and her hearing wasn?t what they?d like to see it at. We were told she could be partially deaf or need the help of a hearing aid. We felt like it was just one thing after another. I was trying to nurse only to freeze the milk in hope?s that one day she?d be able to take a bottle. We kept thinking she just needs to get her surgery and then she can heal. After healing she can go to the step down unit and then we?ll make it home. Our originally timeline (let?s be serious?my original timeline) was she?d be born near her due date of November 23rd. She?d have her surgery within the first 2 weeks. We?d spend the next 2 weeks in the step down unit and bam-home for Christmas to celebrate with the family. I was determined to not celebrate Christmas in the hospital. This little girl was going to be at home, where she belonged. Again, Sophia decided her Mommy needed to take a chill pill and she put me in my place?.where I had to rip up my calendar. She arrived 6.5 weeks early and needed 1 surgery before we could even begin to work on the heart.
Each day was spent 100% devoted to Sophia. When she was 2 weeks old Tim went back to work and would drive from Dayton to Cincinnati each night to spend time with us. He?d drive home each night and repeat each day. He would stay the whole weekend and they?d watch the football together and complain about lousy calls. When Sophia was 3 weeks old I went back to work because my FMLA was running out (due to the hospital bed rest.) I got nervous thinking if I spent the next 3 weeks in the hospital with her, whenever she was ready to come home I wouldn?t have a day left. I panicked the thought of handing over my sick and healing child to someone else to watch on her first day home made me ill. We could easily have a 6 to 9 week old baby coming home and learning everything that a newborn does. We haven?t even bonded besides hand holding. I?ve only held my daughter 1 time and Tim hasn?t even had the chance. What parent can?t hold their child?
Genetic testing was being performed constantly with not many results. What it did result in was confusion and frustration. We felt like she was just this example or project. (We changed our minds quickly). The doctors were amazing; constantly telling us what was going on, why they were doing what they were doing. They would explain every beep and alarm making sure we knew what were OK beeps and what we should be worried about.
Milestones: On October 31st we put her in her Winnie the Pooh Hat and Booties, which became her costume! On November 9th we celebrated her 1 month birthday with a small gathering of people. The Nurses, Grandma and an Uncle. Sophia got a pearl bracelet from her Daddy and Mommy got a pearl necklace to match. She got a new clock for her bedroom at home and books on sign language. On Friday Nov 5th I came ?home? from work to a surprise, we were going to get to hold Sophia! I won?t lie, I panicked! Tim wasn?t here and he hadn?t held her yet. I asked the nurses to hold off because Tim was on his way from Dayton. As soon as he got there he learned his fate for the evening. I?ve never seen him happier. I had to pry her away from him so I could get a couple of minutes and then back to Daddy she went. He threatened to never let her go; I told him eventually you?ll have to go to the bathroom! Daughter Holding Count: Mom-2 Dad-1.
On Nov 10th she went in for what we hoped was her last esophagram. We got the official results that night-surgery was a go! The next few days we prepped for the big day. November 17th. We had no idea what the day would turn into. That day became the hardest day of our lives, as we lost our little girl. She passed away from complications during her Heart Surgery. As quickly as she entered our life, she was taken away. She remains in our hearts forever.
We have since discovered a few things about Sophia?s health after her passing. All those genetic tests that were being run during her life came back to be such a blessing. We can?t thank the Genetics Counselors at Children?s Hospital enough for some answers to Sophia?s defects. Through all of the tests we?ve learned that Sophia?s defects and genetic makeup was just as unique as she.
There are so many people that we owe so much to. Doctors, Family, and Organizations. We can?t begin to thank you all. There was a tremendous outpouring of love in so many forms in the past year. Over $4,000 was donated in her name to the CICU. Team Sophia raised over $6,000 for the American Heart Association. Don?t underestimate what your good does.
Pay It Forward
Sophia Jane Style
Hello Family, Friends and Strangers,
Thank you in advance for reading. We are very excited about this ?Challenge?. Some of you have gone through this chapter of our life with us, some of you know the story and some of you don?t even know the title of the book. We?re here to fill you in and in return we ask a few favors of you. Spread the word and do something for Sophia.
Sophia Jane Smallwood-Tiny Dancer in Heaven 10.9.10-11.17.10
She blessed our lives for 40 days. Those 40 days are quickly approaching on our life again and as a gift to Sophia we thought we?d share her with you. The only way we know to how pay a tiny ounce of respect to a little girl that started to change the world is to ask for your help.
Here?s the challenge: You know all of the things you?ve been meaning to do, now?s the chance to do them. Sophia Style. Pick 1, 2 or 40 things that you think can make a difference. Write about them and share with everyone else. Below are some of our favorite ideas to share with you. If you come up with your own please share with us.
Our goal in this is to remind people that life is short, enjoy the people that are close to you and never stop helping others. Something that is simple to you can mean the world to someone else. We can all make a difference together, one Sweet Sophia moment at a time.
1. Volunteer (The hospital, Nursing Home, Ronald McDonald House to name a few)
2. Donate to a Sophia Cause(Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, Cincinnati Children?s Hospital)
3. Buy or wear a Sophia Jane ring from ZebraGirl Boutique. Proceeds to go American Heart Association. Get yours at Zebragirlboutique.com
4. Thank a Nurse or Medical Professional in your life.
5. Contact the children in your life and tell them what they mean to you. Don?t wait until you see them again.
6. Buy a Team Sophia shirt. Wear your pink with pride. (We recommend cute socks be paired with this shirt!)All proceeds go to CICU.
7. Our personal favorite: Share Sophia?s story with someone-even a complete stranger.
8. Start a Memory Jar with Sophia memories or thoughts. Goes great with #7 while wearing #6! Contact Erin Neefus for help with this.
Here are a few things that just make us think of Sophia.
9. Pin Wheels. Lots and Lots of Pin Wheels
10. Cute Socks.
11. Elton John ?Tiny Dancer?
A few organizations and Events near and dear to our hearts
12. The Dragonfly Foundation. A Non Profit Organization Bringing Comfort and Joy to Kids and Young Adults with Cancer and Blood Diseases. Email Info@thedragonflyfoundation.org to find out how you can get involved.
13. A Celebration of Life to benefit the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. Leigha Wells Blevins is hosting this event in honor of her 20th Bone Marrow Transplant and in memory of some of her friends she?s lost to similar diseases. Contact Leigha to find out how you can help.
14. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS). Their mission is to introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with the free gift of professional portraiture. We believe these images serve as an important step in the family?s healing process by honoring their child?s legacy. Email Headquarters@nilmdts.org or contact our local photographer Faith Puckett Graham at ForeverFaithPhotography.com
15. Mark your calendars for March 18th 2012. Team Sophia will again be participating in the American Heart Association?s Mini Heart Walk in Cincinnati. We?re hoping to have not only walkers but a team of runners. This year we?ll be setting our goal even higher after an astonishing amount of money was raised last year in such a short time. Over $6,000 to give you an idea!
Sophia's 40 Day Challenge: Pay It ForwardOur little girl, Sophia Jane Smallwood was born into this world on Saturday October 9, 2010. We should have known from the moment she made her appearance she would start to take over the world moment by moment. What we didn?t know was each one of the moments would mark a memory, each moment made up her life. Sophia?s life was cut short as she went to heaven on Wednesday November 17th, 2010. Each one of her moments was lived in a hospital. Cincinnati Children?s Hospital is where we called home for our daughter?s entire life.
Through our grief and mourning we try to go on and live each day as a day she would be proud of. We remain her parents and we want to spread her love as far as it will go. She had a way of changing people for the better. Ever since Sophia existed, a baby bump in the making she was making a difference. When we found out at 20 weeks gestation that she had heart defects our lives started changing. We took a few extra moments to relax, to keep in touch, to stop and reflect on how this would affect her life growing up. We became educated and informed and met with doctor after doctor. When my water broke at 30 weeks gestation we knew who was calling the shots. A little girl, commonly referred to as Baby Smallz was testing me! She made an over-do-er, go get-er, controlling Mama stop and reevaluate. The amazing doctors and nurses at Miami Valley Hospital stopped the labor and hospital bed rest became our new life. We moved in with an expected stay at 10 weeks until my due date. For weeks we let go of control and welcomed the help (and boy did we receive a lot!). Baby Smallz got a name; Sophia was picked for a bit of princess wisdom to our life. Although we only live 5 minutes from MVH Tim spent all but 1 night on a pull out chair, just to be near us. 3 weeks and 2 days later Sophia wanted to make an entrance. We learned to accept that what Sophia wanted, Sophia got! (She learned that from her Mom)
For 40 days a lot of people changed. Tim and I became parents. Grandparents were made, Great Grandparents too. Our siblings became Aunts and Uncles. Our little lady became this shinning star of so many people?s lives. She won the hearts of complete strangers. Facebook blew up with pictures, updates, prayers and kind words. This little munchkin ruled the world!
If being born into this family wasn?t enough fun for her, she decided to throw a few curve balls at us. We were ?prepared? for the heart defects, expecting surgery to come in the next few weeks. What we weren?t prepared for was the TEF repair. Minutes after Sophia?s birth the doctors discovered that her esophagus wasn?t connected to her stomach resulting in Obstacle #1. She was transferred to Cincinnati Children?s and Dad followed her for his first sleepless night as a Dad. Day 2 brought her first surgery, TEF repair. Day 3 brought Mom, released from the hospital in Dayton. We met nurses and doctors, learned lingo we never thought we?d hear outside of Grey?s Anatomy (although I did find that I recognized quite a few terms!). The nurses discovered Tim talked in his sleep and Mom was addicted to Facebook among many other things. They also learned Sophia had an amazing support system. Her family and friends had an outpouring of love. The gifts started coming, care packages full of starburst and magazines, the home cooked meals that stocked the refrigerator and a large supply of Mt. Dew. A Mom who said my girl won?t be addicted to pink?became addicted to pink! Sophia got a new hat and changed into clean socks each day. A new picture or 30 were taken as she became more alert. Something about a 4 day old baby wearing her ?tanning goggles? under those bilirubin lights gets me every time. She had her Botox lips after her surgery that made you want to kiss her more and more. Her toes all wrinkled and her knee sensitive to kisses. Dad made sure her left foot always got a little tickle, and then typically her beeping would start as we realized she didn?t like it! She?d get the hiccups and it would make her so mad. She was weeks old with a spitfire personality, I don?t know where it came from.
Discoveries were made about Sophia as the days went on. I won?t lie, everything was a blur when they told us then and it?s still a blur now. Her TEF repair was still healing, we waited to hear about her heart surgery and we learned more challenging news. She had colobomas in her eyes and her hearing wasn?t what they?d like to see it at. We were told she could be partially deaf or need the help of a hearing aid. We felt like it was just one thing after another. I was trying to nurse only to freeze the milk in hope?s that one day she?d be able to take a bottle. We kept thinking she just needs to get her surgery and then she can heal. After healing she can go to the step down unit and then we?ll make it home. Our originally timeline (let?s be serious?my original timeline) was she?d be born near her due date of November 23rd. She?d have her surgery within the first 2 weeks. We?d spend the next 2 weeks in the step down unit and bam-home for Christmas to celebrate with the family. I was determined to not celebrate Christmas in the hospital. This little girl was going to be at home, where she belonged. Again, Sophia decided her Mommy needed to take a chill pill and she put me in my place?.where I had to rip up my calendar. She arrived 6.5 weeks early and needed 1 surgery before we could even begin to work on the heart.
Each day was spent 100% devoted to Sophia. When she was 2 weeks old Tim went back to work and would drive from Dayton to Cincinnati each night to spend time with us. He?d drive home each night and repeat each day. He would stay the whole weekend and they?d watch the football together and complain about lousy calls. When Sophia was 3 weeks old I went back to work because my FMLA was running out (due to the hospital bed rest.) I got nervous thinking if I spent the next 3 weeks in the hospital with her, whenever she was ready to come home I wouldn?t have a day left. I panicked the thought of handing over my sick and healing child to someone else to watch on her first day home made me ill. We could easily have a 6 to 9 week old baby coming home and learning everything that a newborn does. We haven?t even bonded besides hand holding. I?ve only held my daughter 1 time and Tim hasn?t even had the chance. What parent can?t hold their child?
Genetic testing was being performed constantly with not many results. What it did result in was confusion and frustration. We felt like she was just this example or project. (We changed our minds quickly). The doctors were amazing; constantly telling us what was going on, why they were doing what they were doing. They would explain every beep and alarm making sure we knew what were OK beeps and what we should be worried about.
Milestones: On October 31st we put her in her Winnie the Pooh Hat and Booties, which became her costume! On November 9th we celebrated her 1 month birthday with a small gathering of people. The Nurses, Grandma and an Uncle. Sophia got a pearl bracelet from her Daddy and Mommy got a pearl necklace to match. She got a new clock for her bedroom at home and books on sign language. On Friday Nov 5th I came ?home? from work to a surprise, we were going to get to hold Sophia! I won?t lie, I panicked! Tim wasn?t here and he hadn?t held her yet. I asked the nurses to hold off because Tim was on his way from Dayton. As soon as he got there he learned his fate for the evening. I?ve never seen him happier. I had to pry her away from him so I could get a couple of minutes and then back to Daddy she went. He threatened to never let her go; I told him eventually you?ll have to go to the bathroom! Daughter Holding Count: Mom-2 Dad-1.
On Nov 10th she went in for what we hoped was her last esophagram. We got the official results that night-surgery was a go! The next few days we prepped for the big day. November 17th. We had no idea what the day would turn into. That day became the hardest day of our lives, as we lost our little girl. She passed away from complications during her Heart Surgery. As quickly as she entered our life, she was taken away. She remains in our hearts forever.
We have since discovered a few things about Sophia?s health after her passing. All those genetic tests that were being run during her life came back to be such a blessing. We can?t thank the Genetics Counselors at Children?s Hospital enough for some answers to Sophia?s defects. Through all of the tests we?ve learned that Sophia?s defects and genetic makeup was just as unique as she.
There are so many people that we owe so much to. Doctors, Family, and Organizations. We can?t begin to thank you all. There was a tremendous outpouring of love in so many forms in the past year. Over $4,000 was donated in her name to the CICU. Team Sophia raised over $6,000 for the American Heart Association. Don?t underestimate what your good does.
Pay It Forward
Sophia Jane Style
Hello Family, Friends and Strangers,
Thank you in advance for reading. We are very excited about this ?Challenge?. Some of you have gone through this chapter of our life with us, some of you know the story and some of you don?t even know the title of the book. We?re here to fill you in and in return we ask a few favors of you. Spread the word and do something for Sophia.
Sophia Jane Smallwood-Tiny Dancer in Heaven 10.9.10-11.17.10
She blessed our lives for 40 days. Those 40 days are quickly approaching on our life again and as a gift to Sophia we thought we?d share her with you. The only way we know to how pay a tiny ounce of respect to a little girl that started to change the world is to ask for your help.
Here?s the challenge: You know all of the things you?ve been meaning to do, now?s the chance to do them. Sophia Style. Pick 1, 2 or 40 things that you think can make a difference. Write about them and share with everyone else. Below are some of our favorite ideas to share with you. If you come up with your own please share with us.
Our goal in this is to remind people that life is short, enjoy the people that are close to you and never stop helping others. Something that is simple to you can mean the world to someone else. We can all make a difference together, one Sweet Sophia moment at a time.
1. Volunteer (The hospital, Nursing Home, Ronald McDonald House to name a few)
2. Donate to a Sophia Cause(Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, Cincinnati Children?s Hospital)
3. Buy or wear a Sophia Jane ring from ZebraGirl Boutique. Proceeds to go American Heart Association. Get yours at Zebragirlboutique.com
4. Thank a Nurse or Medical Professional in your life.
5. Contact the children in your life and tell them what they mean to you. Don?t wait until you see them again.
6. Buy a Team Sophia shirt. Wear your pink with pride. (We recommend cute socks be paired with this shirt!)All proceeds go to CICU.
7. Our personal favorite: Share Sophia?s story with someone-even a complete stranger.
8. Start a Memory Jar with Sophia memories or thoughts. Goes great with #7 while wearing #6! Contact Erin Neefus for help with this.
Here are a few things that just make us think of Sophia.
9. Pin Wheels. Lots and Lots of Pin Wheels
10. Cute Socks.
11. Elton John ?Tiny Dancer?
A few organizations and Events near and dear to our hearts
12. The Dragonfly Foundation. A Non Profit Organization Bringing Comfort and Joy to Kids and Young Adults with Cancer and Blood Diseases. Email Info@thedragonflyfoundation.org to find out how you can get involved.
13. A Celebration of Life to benefit the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. Leigha Wells Blevins is hosting this event in honor of her 20th Bone Marrow Transplant and in memory of some of her friends she?s lost to similar diseases. Contact Leigha to find out how you can help.
14. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS). Their mission is to introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with the free gift of professional portraiture. We believe these images serve as an important step in the family?s healing process by honoring their child?s legacy. Email Headquarters@nilmdts.org or contact our local photographer Faith Puckett Graham at ForeverFaithPhotography.com
15. Mark your calendars for March 18th 2012. Team Sophia will again be participating in the American Heart Association?s Mini Heart Walk in Cincinnati. We?re hoping to have not only walkers but a team of runners. This year we?ll be setting our goal even higher after an astonishing amount of money was raised last year in such a short time. Over $6,000 to give you an idea!
This discussion has been closed.