Only one not liking BFing? — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Only one not liking BFing?

I feel like I am the only person who hates breastfeeding. And that makes me feel horrible. But I don't feel like it's a "bonding time" for me and DS and it takes him 45-60 minutes a feeding. I am so frustrated with it and really want to switch to formula but feel like everyone I know will judge me. Anyone give it up and happy they did?

 

 

Re: Only one not liking BFing?

  • How old is your LO?

    FWIW I didn't really feel like we were bonding at first either. I was more frustrated that he was on the boob ALL the time and that I was his sole source of food. But now that he's more alert and we can make eye contact while nursing, it's become more enjoyable.

    Don't make the decision based on what people will think. Make the decision based on what's best for you and your LO. 

    image image
    D: Born 7.14.11
    Baby #2: BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
    O: Born 3.2.14 (med-free!)
  • My DD never latched on right and even with a coach she only took to it with her help.  Once home she still didn't latch on and wailed until she was given formula. So you can say I have "given up" which makes me very sad.  I know how important it is for her and for me and I wish she would take it and get the benefits.  If it just isn't working out for you though go and switch.  It doesn't make you a failure.  My pedi told me it is better to enjoy your time with your child so if BF isn't allowing that to happen then stop.  Good Luck
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  • I thought BFing sucked with my first (pardon the pun). We bonded fine without it. I never felt any guilt about giving it up, nor do I feel guilty for FF from go this time.
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  • I just stopped and although I felt very guilty, I am so much happier!  My little one never latched good due to flat nipples and I had to use a nipple shield.  Once we introduced a bottle he started to hate nursing and would scream.  He just preferred the bottle.  I EP for weeks but that's exhausting and with me returning to work next week I decided to switch to formula.  Was a good choice for me.  Good luck with your decision!
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  • With my 1st, I 'gave up' and felt guilty.  But now looking back (6 yrs later) it was what was best for both her, our family and myself.  I was constantly stressed and crying and what good is a stressed out, crying mom?  Not much.

     

    This time I had a more realistic idea of what having a baby was like.  (With my 1st I thought it was like tv...baby didn't hardly cry, was happy, etc)  This time although I can't say I like it...it is better.  And it does get better as she gets older since she listens to me talk and sing and is more alert while we feed.

     

    Bottom line, every situation and baby is different but you have to do what is best for you and yours at the time and not feel guilty

  • image ring_pop:

    How old is your LO?

    FWIW I didn't really feel like we were bonding at first either. I was more frustrated that he was on the boob ALL the time and that I was his sole source of food. But now that he's more alert and we can make eye contact while nursing, it's become more enjoyable.

    Don't make the decision based on what people will think. Make the decision based on what's best for you and your LO. 

    This exactly! 

    I EP with DD1 and it was a lot of work.  I love how excited DD2 gets when she knows mommy is home and snuggles up next to me to eat.  I stopped caring what other people thought.  BF really hurt me at first.  DD2 had a horrible latch and was constantly slipping and justing sucking on my nipple.  It's ultimately your decision, but not all mom's feel a bond and that's okay.  It takes time.

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  • The first week for me was rough and this is baby #3. My first 2 no prob this lil guy has had a rough time. Have you tried pumping? A couple of my friends didn't like bfing they both just pumped and love it so much. Another one stopped bfing and went to ff. Bfing is not easy for everyone or every baby i wouldn't  worry bout what others think because it's about you and your lil one. You can bond with tummy time, reading, bath time, and other daily things.
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  • You need to do what is best for you. Ignore everyone else because in the end, if you don't enjoy what you are doing you may end up even more unhappy.

    Have you thought about pumping and giving your BM to your LO in bottles? You can still bond this way- it is what I do and I love my time with my daughter more than ever. 

  • It took longer than expected for my milk to come in, so we ended up having to supplement because my son was starving! Not to mention only 1 wet diaper in like 16 hrs. Needles to say, once he got the formula and bottle nipple, he never wanted to latch on to me again. (He wasnt a perfect latcher to begin with). 

    I was so upset, crying about it for days, going back and forth with it.  We made a decision to switch to formula and for us it was worth it.  So much less stress.  I knew he was getting what he needed.  I still am kind of sad it didnt work out, but had to do what was right.  I don't feel bad/guilty in that respect.  I sometime do feel guilty that maybe I should've bought a pump, but oh well.  GL! And hopefully you figure out what works for you and your LO ;)

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  • I found BF absolutely agony at first, and it probbaly took us a good 4 weeks or so to get a constantly good latch and for my nipples to heal and for us to get into a regular routine.

    Then I enjoyed it. Before that, I wanted to smack people in the face who said, "isn't BF such a magical time."

    I also came to enjoy feeding the baby as a great excuse..."sorry I have to go feed the baby" gets you out of all sorts of things and no one can argue with you and no one can insist they do it for you.

    I'm a huge fan of BF and we're only just weaning our final feed now,but I agree with pp its most important that you feed your baby and if it's best for you to FF then so be it. I guarantee when your child is at school no on will be able to line your child up with its classmates and pick out the BF babies. 

     

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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • If you really want to give it up -than give it up. . . But, I want to tell you it does get better. When LO was born he ate every 1.5 hours for 45-60 minutes all day and all night. By 6 weeks he was down to 20 minute feedings (he was eating every hour but I have supply issues), now he can drain 1 side in 15 minutes (but sometimes takes both sides in 25 min) and only eats every 2-2.5 hours and sleeps 9 hours straight most nights.

    I don't know hold old your baby is, but it does get better.

  • It isn't easy and lo latches well. Since lo can take a bottle, I have H give her a bottle I pumped so I have a break when I need it. I'm looking forward her getting faster...
    DS 7/6/09
    DD 9/4/11
    EDD 9/1/15
  • I'm glad to see this post, as these are my exact thoughts. With DD I thought I had supply problems, we had to supplement, and after a few weeks of BF, pumping and still supplementing with formula, we decided to FF. I felt awful at the time, but in the end it was a huge relief. DD is completely healthy and it ended up being a better fit for us.

    DS is only a week old, but I decided I wanted to try to BF again. This time is much better, I've got good supply, and he's a pretty good eater, but we are having some latching issues on one side. The cluster/constant feedings are wearing me out and I often dread the next feeding as it is so painful. I feel awful for considering formula cause I feel if I'm able to BF, I should. But I remember how much easier things were with DD, and not feeling like I had to do so much on my own. I only have 8 weeks home w/LO and I don't want to look back at this time and think how much it sucked.

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  • Someone told me early in not to give up BF on a bad day.  They said think it through on a good day, and if it's a good day and you decide you're done, then it's the right decision.  I am glad I did that, because 10 weeks in, I absolutely love it.  Although I was confident that if it didn't work, I wasn't going to kill myself about it.  As a PP said, FF babies do just as well in life as BF babies, at least I hope so, because I was FF ;c)
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  • I couldn't do it. But I just pump instead, so she gets all she needs from me still. I encourage you to try it if you are up for it, I am glad to be doing it.
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  • Why has nobody suggested a nipple shield?  They are not just for inverted nipples, but also for babies with a poor latch.

    Give it a try, it's a only about $7 lost if it doesn't work for you.  Although the first week they spend a ton of time on the boob, it should not be taking baby 45 minutes to eat at any age. I used one after two weeks of frustration and found that baby went from eating every 20-30 minutes to 1-2 hours because she was getting more breast milk at each feeding.  Plus, it cut down on the pain immensely. 

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  • I hated BFing. A nurse yelled at me and refused to bring me formula (i wasn't sure I wanted to do it from the beginning) I tried for about a week and absolutely hated it. It did not feel natural so I stopped. People have told me that I was a bad mom for it and my child was not givin the best chance and that she would be stupid because I didn't BF. But my DD started cereal at 3 months, crawling at 6 and walking at 8. And as for bonding. when i walk into the room with a bottle, i'm still the one with the food and there are NO bonding issues
  • Honestly I feel like my LO and I bond better with FF. While BF we would both just cry. Having to deal with inverted nipples, nipple shields, horrible gas, colic, projectile vomiting, and everything else... we were both so unhappy! Now we have her on her soy formula and its been like night and day difference. I love the fact that while giving her a bottle we just stare into each others eyes. I felt so bad when we first gave it up, but now I know we made the right decision. All that matters is you make the right decision for you! Its not about anyone else... just you and your LO! GL!!
  • I think a lot of people do not enjoy it. Everyone I have ever talked to that stuck with it for a very long time says they would never do it again that long. I was DETERMINED with my twins that I was going to BF only. I did so for 2 weeks but it was SO HARD on me. I shed many tears and dealt with much guilt but I did give it up and I was so much happier. It was so much easier and less stressful for all of us. I SO wanted to BF but it was hard and if it's too much for you then give it up. My aunt told me that no matter what I do my babies will know and love me and we will bond. That helped me be ok with stopping. Good luck
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