Pressure to name after someone?

apollonia10

So I'm not even pregnant yet, but since I could remember, my mom has been pressuring me to name my first daughter after her. I'm the oldest, and it would be important to her to have her first granddaughter named after her. I'm very reluctant to even consider it, even though she has a beautiful name. I feel like it would give her "ownership" over my future daughter. We do plan to use her middle name for any future daughter's middle name, but she doesn't think that's good enough. It's been so irritating to me that I sort of wish I only have boys. If I do have a girl, I won't be naming her after my mom, and I know that my mom will be put out by this.

Anyone else feel this sort of pressure?

mrsb_IN

My dad has made it clear that he'd like our first son to be named after him in some way (either first or middle). I'm more than OK with that because my dad and I are very close, but DH thinks that it would be unfair to his dad.

brooklynesque

I think it's rude and egotistical for ANY person to demand that someone name a child after him/her.  It's your child and your decision.  A mn is more than enough if you choose to use the name.

LillyVonSchtupp

Ugghh, that stinks. Sorry you're dealing with that.

I would tell her that if she wanted a child named after her she should've given YOU her name since you were HER child. I think the fact that you'd use her name as a middle name is honorific enough.

 

guilletskichuk

I agree with all of the pp's.

I'm sorry that you're being put in this predicament.

rachellep21

I am sorry you have to deal with this... It is never any fun to feel pressured by anyone, let alone your own family!

 I do have a sort-of similar situation going on. I want a mn after my father, but my BF thinks that it would be unfair to his dad....

It is not at all like the pressure you are dealing with... but my advice is to do what YOU want! You may only have one child, and you don't want to regret anything. Besides, your mother will forget all about her name once she sees her granddaughter's beautiful face

michelleaxo

brooklynesque:

I think it's rude and egotistical for ANY person to demand that someone name a child after him/her.  It's your child and your decision.  A mn is more than enough if you choose to use the name.

This. How rude of her.

guilletskichuk

rachellep21:

I am sorry you have to deal with this... It is never any fun to feel pressured by anyone, let alone your own family!

 I do have a sort-of similar situation going on. I want a mn after my father, but my BF thinks that it would be unfair to his dad....

It is not at all like the pressure you are dealing with... but my advice is to do what YOU want! You may only have one child, and you don't want to regret anything. Besides, your mother will forget all about her name once she sees her granddaughter's beautiful face

Hmm...I can understand that. Does your BF and his dad have the same surname though? If so, my argument would be that your future children will have that surname, so it's only fair that you use YOUR father's name as a mn.

apollonia10

rachellep21:

Besides, your mother will forget all about her name once she sees her granddaughter's beautiful face

This made me happy to read, since I really hope it's true!! Thanks for your replies!

Ivana_Stolichnaya

Tell her to back off and that you won't be using it.

 

"Mom, I realize you have this dream to have your granddaughter named after you but it's not going to happen...so stop already."

BlindysWife

This. I think it's extremely self centered of her to expect you to use her name. And I would tell her so.

BrideBuddies

How arrogant and egotistical!

That's why I named my kid for himself and no one else.  He's an individual, not a carbon copy of someone with the same name.

queenbone

apollonia10:

Anyone else feel this sort of pressure?

No, thank God.  It must totally suck to have a parent so wrapped up in herself.  My mom and I have a normal-ish relationship.  Even if we had a totally close relationship I wouldn't want to name my child her exact name. 

DH and I have a compromise girl name Margaret Victoria (Maggie) which is for his mom Marguerite (Peggy) and my mom (Vicki). It isn't my first choice of name, but it is different enough to not drive me crazy.

magnoliablossom00

I felt a little pressure to name DD after my mom. Both my sister and I were named after our grandmothers (middle names only) and I always assumed I would carry on the tradition. My mom never said to name my baby after her- she actually said NOT to (she doesn't like her name). However, I think that middle names aren't that important and I knew my mom would love it. I also knew it would help encourage a close relationship between the two of them, as it did for me and my own grandmother that I was named after.

Is her middle name my first choice? Not really. Am I glad that my daughter is named after my mother? Definately. My mom is my best friend after DH, so maybe thats why I don't mind. Honestly, I hope my LO will name her daughter (if she has one) after me one day. I wouldn't be mad if she didn't, but I think I would be slightly disappointed. I would rather name my LOs after people who love them and can be good examples, rather than a name that just "sounds good."

MAMAxB

brooklynesque:

I think it's rude and egotistical for ANY person to demand that someone name a child after him/her.  It's your child and your decision.  A mn is more than enough if you choose to use the name.

I agree!

VERY rude.