I have just started thinking about this, and maybe it is a little late. Tell me what your experiences were? Did you have a doula, do you wish had hired one? 1st time moms, are you planning to have a doula? I am planning on an epidural, but have heard that their support is priceless. What do you think?
Re: 2nd time moms... did you have a doula? 1st time moms will you?
I meet with a couple when I was pg with my daughter. The first one had this sing songy voice and told me that childbirth didn't have to hurt at all. After I stopped laughing at that I realized she was serious. I asked how that was possible and she said I needed to go to my happy place. And that she charged $1200. I decided my happy place was wherever I was with my $1200 in my own wallet.
Then I met with another one. She might have been great, but she had a crooked discolored front tooth and all I could think about was how distracting that wouldbe to look at that thing during labor.
So I didn't have a doula. And you know what? I didn't lose my ability to think when I was in labor. I didn't need to have someone else there. Now, DD's head was over the 95th percentile, she got stuck, lost oxygen, and I had to have an emergency C section. No doula could have helped that, my kid just has big brains!
I think a 3rd person can be helpful for some people, some extra reassurance. for me, I felt informed enough that I could answer questions for myself, and despite painful contractions, I didn't lose my mind.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
This is exactly how I feel!
I had a doula last time and will this time as well. Couple of reasons for this:
-Support before going to the hospital. No nurse is going to come sit at my house with me
-Continuity of care. There will be someone there (besides DH) the entire time I am in labor, delivery and recovery
Those 2 I think are valuable whether or not you're getting an epi. The rest of my reasons are more natural birth specific.
ETA: And last time DH wasn't even with me the entire time because he escorted the baby to the nursery while I was in recovery. I would have been completely alone if the doula hadn't been there. Sucky
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Shawn and Larissa
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I also found a doula who is an apprentice- and a massage therapist. i know there is a chance that i will not want to be touched during labor, but I definitely wanted the support and reassurance a doula can provide. We did interview a doula who was charging 1200... and while some in the NY area might pay that and I'm sure she is more experienced than an apprecentice, I have a really hard time justifying that and with a baby on the way, can't afford that!!!!
I had one even though I ended up with a planned c/s. It was a free program though a local graduate school (they were all in a NP program).
I wanted one because DH annoys the heck out of me when he tries to calm me down and I knew I needed someone else there to calm us both down, if I had actually gone into labor.
But she ended up just taking pictures for us and telling our families that the baby was here and everything was ok. I think she was happy to see the c/s process too.
I thought about it , but I am not having a doula . I like my midwife and feel super confident and positive about how the whole L/B will go down with my medical team and supportive husband . I have also yet to meet a doula ( I have met several through my mom to be groups and one that leads my pre natal yoga class ) that I feel comfortable with . One of my best friends had one and she loved having a doula and it her really helped her with her fear of giving birth issues and such .
There is book that doulas/midwives recommend that i was recommended ( read some of it but couldn't past all the whoo whoo stuff ) its called Birth from Within. If you feel you need some help communicating your labor and birth fears it has good some exercises you can do i.e drawing and painting .