Am I being uptight?

Mrs Manners

Ds told me this week that I was "On his nerves". When I asked him where he heard that phrase (since neither dh or I say that ever), he said the names of his two preschool teachers. Last night, he told the dog "If you aren't being a good listener, you'll go back to the baby room". When I asked him where he'd heard that, he again said the names of his two main teachers. This totally rubbed me the wrong way and I really don't think they should be saying either of those things to a class of three year olds. Am I being uptight or would this bug you too? We've had some other issues in this class and I guess I've lost my sense of what should bug me and what I'm being oversensitive about because I'm already irritated about the other stuff.

April37

This would really bug me.  His teachers should not be saying things like that. 

Erin&Rod

Not at all.  Those are terrible things to say to a 3 year old.  

Court0026

Totally inappropriate!  I would be upset.

kmhunt11

I'd go straight to the director with that one, and request it be dealt with anonymously.  If they're petty enough to say that stuff to a 3 yo, they might be petty enough to take it out on your kid that you complained.  

This frustrates me so much.  I can't find a teaching job, yet there are dopes like this with jobs.  Sigh.   

luvmagoldn

Wow...I would be upset too and speak to the director about it.

GamasBabyMama

Oh, that is so very, very wrong. As a teacher, I always got on the assistants for saying things like that to the children. It's degrading. Speak to the director about it and start a record of complaints. It comes in handy when you want to transfer your child to another classroom.

trizzie

You are not being uptight. I would definitely talk to the director.

RoxBride

Completely unacceptable. I agree, talk to the director and ask that is be handled with the teachers without mentioning your child. No guarantee that will happen, but still.

franciscaz

That would really bug me.  Kids are sponges and a bitter teacher is not good for them.  I would maybe have a word with the principal.

C.squared

That would really bother me too and I'd try to handle it anonymously as well.  GL!

n&bcarlson

Are they generally good teachers who may have said something once in a bad moment and your son picked it up?  Because I know that everyone has a bad day, or even a bad minute, and that's invariably the one minute my daughter is listening and decides to quote what I say.  No one is perfect, and I frankly don't know how teachers of three year olds get through the day with sanity intact.  So if you think this is indicative of a broader trend of inappropriate things (since you did say there have been issues), I would definitely bring it up.  But if you think it was just a moment of human weakness in an otherwise great teacher, let it slide for now.  For the record, I don't think either of these things are "horrible" to say to a child depending on how they are said.  If he told the dog he was a worthless little brat and then said the teacher said it, I'd be on the phone in a heartbeat.

shopgirl78

I wouldn't approach it like "those teachers taught my son XYZ."  You are taking the word of a 3 year old who could be mistaken.   I'd first address the issue with my son, "those are not nice things to say."  

I would approach with the teacher "My son said if he didn't XYZ he'd go back to the baby room.  I've tried to explain to him that is not the case.  Will you please help me reassure him?"  She'll hopefully get the hint...

Lastly, I am pretty sure I have said something similar to my kids (something getting on my nerves) so I wouldn't be up in arms : )  Its an expression to imply something is annoying...and he could have learned if from another student, TV, etc.

I guess my point is, I wouldn't be accusatory. 

Mrs Manners

Thanks for the feedback ladies. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow so I'm going to hold off and see how I feel about it when I get back. Our other issues have been mostly related to a lack of communication on their part (they are working hard to address this), the fact they've had three teacher changes in the month they've been in school, the general chaos and their inability to control 30 three year olds (this is getting better) and the fact that they've fed him things he's allergic to (they haven't done this again). None of the other issues have been related to anything inappropriate they've said.

I'm working hard to teach ds what things are "mean words" but thus far all the things he's heard have come from other students (stupid, fat belly, boobies, etc) which is totally normal. Other than curse words, I try VERY hard to always be aware of what I'm saying around him because he is likely to repeat and try not to say anything to him that's negative like "you're getting on my nerves". Now...the day he drops the F bomb it's totally on me.

Pesky

glad to hear you are going to speak to them.  Had something similar with DS where they threatened him with his infant teacher, who is like a grandmother to him and visits him daily, not coming to read to him.  A quick conversation with the lead teacher about how that was unacceptable and it has not been repeated.  There are plenty of acceptable discipline methods like time-outs and toy restrictions that can be employed instead.

UsedToBeGoldie

i used to be a teacher- and yes, that would bug me. I'd have a talk with the director and ask her to speak to the teachers about what is appropriate to say in class... esp with young kids who repeat everything.