Opinion, please

BabyD15

We haven't told anyone about the pregnancy as of yet but plan to within the next two weeks. I have MANY friends who have had terrible times getting pregnant and some have given up completely.

My question revolves around what to say if they ask (which most of them will) on how long it took us to conceive? It took once...and I can't feel more guilty about that and want to avoid it in any future conversations.

Advice? Thanks!

KSimone619

I don't think you should feel guilty at all.  It also took us one cycle with both my pregnancies, and if someone is not ashamed to ask, I am not ashamed to tell! The only people that honestly asked me this were people very close to me.

mrs.gee

I think if you say "We were very lucky, it went pretty quickly" that pretty much answers the question and doesn't pour salt in a wound too badly. I doubt they will ask more than that. It's pretty nosey to ask but they may be doing so, hoping you'll say "months and months" to make themselves feel better.

aquababy320

I completely understand feeling guilty, but I think you just have to be honest if someone asks. You're lucky and that's okay . It would be worse to lie and then be found out later. 

sonyaina

Just be honest, and hope they don't ask ;]

Jackie2007

It took us almost 4 years and I would never ask someone that!

mrsawtry2B

We were blessed to get pg with DD and with this LO on our first month trying.  However, if I had friends who had stuggled with getting pg, I probably wouldn't tell them it happend right away.  I wouldn't lie of course, but if they asked how long I had been trying, I would give them a vague answer - I think some of the other ladies have offered some great examples.

emilyknelson

I also have people that have had trouble getting pregnant in my life.  I chose not to put them in the position that they have to feel obligated to say "Congratulations."  I sort of got lucky that my dad made an oops on facebook and she saw it.  So she asked me and I told her I was.  Not having to tell her myself felt better.  She was very cordial, but I know it's hard on her.  Just give them space to process.  

IteachPK

My best friend has been suffering from IF for 2 years. She's currently doing treatments and still has a very optimistic outlook on IF.  

Two days before my BFP we joked that DH and I had only done it once this cycle because I'd had a bad yeast infection and was pissy cause his mom had been in town early in my cycle. I wasn't temping either or doing OPK's we'd basically taken the cycle off. 

I texted her the second those pink lines showed up. Then she called and we screamed and danced up and down.  

Our situation is a bit different. We were nearing the year mark when we got our BFP and she knew that I was struggling emotionally heading towards that year mark.

I'm very lucky to have a best friend that even though her journey hasn't been blessed with a baby yet is able to be excited. She's going with me to my gender scan in a couple weeks and she cried when I asked her to go, because she wants to be as involved as possible. 

 

This turned into a long ramble. I guess I'm just trying to say, everyone has different comfort zones when it comes to pregnancy and IF. Its a really sticky situation for a lot of people. 

mrshurley10

dont feel guilty about it, it took us 14 months to get pregnant with the baby we i had a mc with then one more cycle to get our little one inside now.... it is horrible to have trouble ttc but its not your fault that it came easy for you. My only advise is, when you tell them avoid saying.. "Dont worry, it will happen, just stop worrying about it so much.." thats the hardest thing for them to hear. Maybe just say "im pregnant" and leave it at that. i know i hated when the focus went to me and my lack of pregnancy. i think sometimes when ppl dont know what to say they end up saying to much and digging a hole accidentally. if they are your friends they will be happy for you no matter what! congrats!

heatheroo

KSimone619:

I don't think you should feel guilty at all.  It also took us one cycle with both my pregnancies, and if someone is not ashamed to ask, I am not ashamed to tell! The only people that honestly asked me this were people very close to me.

This.

PrincessVB

mrs.gee:

I think if you say "We were very lucky, it went pretty quickly" that pretty much answers the question and doesn't pour salt in a wound too badly. I doubt they will ask more than that. It's pretty nosey to ask but they may be doing so, hoping you'll say "months and months" to make themselves feel better.

 

Completely agree with this.  And as someone who struggled to get pregnant and then was bombarded with the news of others, just remember that they may need some space to deal.  Only a few people knew about my mc and recently I was listening to a friend go off about someone who pulled away from her because she found out that she was pregnant.  What she didn't know is that that person had just suffered a mc after 3 years of trying.  I gently gave her a bit of perspective on what a mc can do to you. 

LauraSmarterSpam

You shouldn't feel guilty at all.  DH and I stopped preventing in January, but I kept a calendar and would try to avoid "those days", but I felt more comfortable during the summer about being a mother.  With actual trying, it took two cycles.  My sister got pregnant while she was on the pill.

It's easiest to say it didn't take very long.  I wouldn't get into the details, but if they start prodding even more, I would just tell them the truth.  Your friends are probably under a lot of stress which wouldn't make things any easier for them to conceive.

(  GL. 

Thall5

People never asked us how long we were trying, but they did ask why we didn't tell anyone we were trying. Or they would say oh we didn't know you were trying, or were you trying to get pregnant. haha, I would just smile and say that this was planned and leave it at that. I never really went on to tell anyone that we had been trying for a little while. We had friends that tried for quite a while, but they never asked us, they were just really excited for us. It is kind of crazy what people say sometimes.